Manipulation: Who is Ringing Your Bell?


An interesting anomaly about individual human behavior is that people think they are in control of determining the responses of others through manipulating behavior an actually they are being  controlled by a complex set of antisocial behavior conditions.  What controlling people do not understand uncovers a great paradox within manipulative behavior.  Controlling efforts may be a signal that manipulators are really weak people who are full of anxiety and insecure about life.  Because they feel so out of control, anxiety triggers hyperactivity of the emotions triggering compulsive behavior to bring conditions of life back into a manageable level of control.  Controlling behavior can be invalidating, abusive, or involve demoralizing others to regain a feeling of control.   The  feeling of loss of control is a trigger for impulsivity and compulsive behaviors that seek control takes over and gain dominance over others. In fact, because of the deeply felt perception that they have no control  coercive manipulation presents an effort to ring someone’s  bell because the controller cannot ring their own.

Some people pride themselves with feeling that they are always in control knowing exactly what is going to happen,  massaging everyone and everything, to get a response that meets a personal goal– an ego need.  However, before victory is declared, take a look at things from the dogs perspective in Pavlov’s experiment.  The dog believes that he is in control because he has learned that if he will just do what he has been condition to do that Pavlov will respond; then he will gets what he wants.  Something to think about today is who is manipulating who in situations like this one?  In a system,  group of people,  everyone gets some benefit from the bell ringing,  but the question is who or what is ringing your bell when people behave in controlling manipulative ways?

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