Tag Archives: United States

Are You Tired of Being A Vicitim?


Raging Bully

Raging Bully

I remember while growing up in the 60′s that I was a constant target of bullying. I was small and just wanted to be a kid like everyone else, but there were always those people who had to try to control and victimize. It was not something that I wanted, but the day I became frustrated enough about being bullied and decided that I was not going to be pushed anymore, that was the day that I began to quit being a victim. Unfortunately, that was not the last bully that I faced, I have discovered that they are there everywhere that you go. The tragedy is that people in the workplace, in families, churches, and social relationships are being bullied everyday: they have accepted that as a way of life that they feel no escape from. The best thing that you can arm yourself with is not a gun or knife, not even a body-guard, but with understanding about the behaviors of bullies and how people are trapped into victimization.

They Are Abusers

The violence (not only physical) committed by a serial bully is almost entirely psychological, for psychological violence leaves no scars and no physical evidence. Most commonly, the violence takes the form of verbal abuse and emotional abuse including trivial nit-picking criticism, constant fault-finding combined with simultaneous refusal to recognize, value, acknowledge and praise. Manipulation, isolation and exclusion are other favorite tactics, as is feigning victim-hood or persecution, especially when held accountable.

They Are Controllers

The objectives of serial bullies are Power, Control, Domination and Subjugation.  These are achieved by a number of means including emotional dis-empowerment, stimulating excessive levels of fear, shame, embarrassment and guilt, manipulation (especially of emotions and perception), ritual humiliation, and constant denial. When you live with someone who is constantly denying what they said or did a day ago, or an hour ago, or even a minute ago, it drives you crazy. When the symptoms of injury to health start to become apparent, the bully will tell others you have a “mental health problem” and try to make you feel guilt about your response. However, you may be mad, but this is not mad-insane, this is mad angry.

Control is a common indicator of the serial bully.  Control of finances, control of movements, control over choice of friends, control of the right to work, control over what to think, and so on is the central motivation of bullies. Consequently,  all efforts to control are designed to dis-empower the victim and empower the bully.

They Are Dividers

A favorite tactic of the bully in the family is to set people against each other. The benefits to the bully are that:

  • The bully gains a great deal of gratification (a perverse form of satisfaction) from encouraging and provoking argument, quarreling and hostility, and then from watching others engage in adversarial interaction and destructive conflict.
  • The ensuing conflict ensures that people’s attention is distracted and diverted away from the cause of the conflict.

Bullies within the family, especially female bullies, are masters (mistresses) of manipulation and are fond of manipulating people through their emotions (e.g. guilt) and through their beliefsattitudes and perceptions. Bullies see any form of vulnerability as an opportunity for manipulation, and are especially prone to exploiting those who are most emotionally needy. Elderly relatives, those with infirmity, illness, those with the greatest vulnerability, or those who are emotionally needy or behaviorally immature family members are likely to be favorite targets for exploitation.

The family bully encourages and manipulates family members and others to lie, act dishonorably and dishonestly, withhold information, spread misinformation, and to punish the target for alleged infractions, i.e., the family members become the bully’s unwitting (and sometimes witting) instruments of harassment.

They Are Manipulators

Bullies are adept at distorting peoples’ perceptions with intent to engender a negative view of their target in the minds of family members, neighbors, friends and people in positions of leadership and authority; this is achieved through undermining, the creation of doubts and suspicions, and the sharing of false concerns, etc. This intentional poisoning of people’s minds is difficult to counter; however, explaining the game in a calm articulate manner helps people to see through the mask of deceit and to understand how and why they are being used as pawns.

They Are Deceivers Who Want To Be Your Confidant

The bully may try to establish an exclusive relationship (based on apparent trust and confidence) with one family member, such that, they (the bully) are seen as the sole reliable source of information. This may be achieved by portraying the target (and certain other family members) as irresponsible, unstable, undependable, uncaring, unreliable, and untrustworthy.  Perhaps by the constant highlighting, using distortion and fabrication, reminders of alleged failures, breaches of trust, and lack of reliability, etc. This process is reinforced by inclusion of the occasional piece of juicy gossip about the target’s alleged misdemeanors or untrustworthiness in respect of relationships and communication with people. Mostly, this is psychological projection of the bullies failures and inadequecies.

The objective is to manipulate the family member’s perceptions and create a dependency, so that the family member comes to rely exclusively on the bully and see, the bully, as the sole source of reliable information whilst distrusting everyone else. Any person who is capable of exposing and breaking the dependency is targeted with venom and will find their name blackened at every opportunity.

They Are Attention Seekers and You Are Their Audience

When close to being outwitted and exposed, the bully feigns victim hood and turns the focus on themselves.  This is another example of manipulating people through their emotion by invoking guilt, i.e., sympathy, feeling sorry, etc. Female serial bullies are especially partial to making themselves the center of attention by claiming to be the injured party whilst portraying their target as the villain of the alleged event. When the target tries to explain the game, they are immediately labeled “paranoid”.   Therefore, attention-seeking behavior is common with emotionally immature people trying to control others to feed their low sense of self worth by controlling their audience.

They Are Easy To Spot, but Usually Missed

The serial bully is easy to spot once you know what you are looking for: a Jekyll and Hyde nature, compulsive lying, manipulation (of emotions, perceptions, beliefs, etc), unpredictability, deception, denial, arrogance, narcissism, attention-seeking, etc., whilst always charming and plausible, especially when impressionable witnesses are present.

Serial bullies can be male or female –the main difference is that female bullies are more devious, more manipulative, more cunning, more sly, more psychological, more subtle, leave less evidence and will often bully with a smile. Female bullies will often manipulate a male into committing their violence for them. Male bullies tend to be less subtle, have a tendency towards physical aggression, and are generally less clever than female bullies.

The best response to a bully is to avoid conflict if you can, but arm yourself with information and then you can take your life back and quit living like a victim.

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Filed under Abuse, Index, Mental Health Issues, Relationships, Self Defeating Behavior

Forgiveness Consequences and Consequences of Evil Acts


Forgiveness-and-Consequences-300x204

What response is appropriate when trust in violated repeatedly by someone who does you wrong, violates your personal boundaries, and continually act in ways that consume your life emotionally, physically, and financially?  The obvious answer for many people is to run away and put as much distance between you and the offender as possible.  However, when an effort is made to manage others behavior, it can be a slippery slope.  It is like the old saying, “it takes two to Tango”.  Indeed assessing blame and taking responsibility for perceived unjust or unethical behavior  can turn on the accuser because everyone sees life events through a unique perspective.  Obviously, it is easier to blame others or appear to be what someone else has done instead of accepting responsibility for personal involvement and participation in a conflict situation that has produced actions, feelings, and outcome.

Looking at forgiveness from a purely religious or theological perspective leaves people with distorted ideas about responsibility for actions that violate another person’s rights, or that defrauds another person willfully of benefit.  Many people think that you are supposed to get “holy amnesia” when you are wronged by someone and if you are really spiritual that you will act as if nothing ever happened.  As a result, when some people look at the idea of forgiveness through a theological construction, often emphasis is placed upon unconditional forgiveness. In fact, unconditional forgiveness ideally removes responsibility for actions, absolves guilt, removes consequences, and restores relationships. However, when it comes to the subject of forgiveness an important issue to consider is that human beings are emotional beings subject to human limitations and are not God.  Unfortunately many people who have been deeply hurt by others are further damaged by guilt and manipulation of idealist who may not understand fully that there is more to forgiveness than holy amnesia.  Consequently, when it comes to forgiveness many people apply the doctrine of redemption and forgiveness that is provide by God upon human experiences as if it is normal to act just as God does while living as a finite human being. Unfortunately, for many people feeling the hurt and pain of broken relationships the pain doesn’t get any better when religious notions are used to bruise the offended further. Think about this: if the central emphasis is placed upon benefit for the sinner, relief for the offender, and not upon the effects of behavior on the way relationships have become tangled, there can be little growth without a healthy process that addresses the consequences for the act of offense.

In a simplistic, view of forgiveness is a need for relief from any sense of guilt from actions and vindication, i.e., relief from emotional, social, and, personal for wrongdoing.  In a theological understanding penalty is  removed and sinners escape eternal separation from God, as well as the benefit of relationship in the present.  However, the theological definition is not a very practical way to apply to how forgiveness between people occurs who are the product of a fallen nature, an developing spiritual capacity, and who experience systemic relational problems.  Obviously, individuals with a diminished developmental difficulty lack a God-like ability to negotiate healthy balance between forgiveness and responsibility.  Therefore, when many people think of forgiveness they are equating it with to the doctrine of absolution from Roman Catholic Theology, where the priest mystically removed the penalty for wrong acts. Consequently, when the discussion about forgiveness is raised, movement away from a simplistic view of people who live by shoulds and should nots will be enhanced when we realize that people must go through a process toward forgiveness that is not instant “holy amnesia”.

One way to think about this is that there is a fundamental difference between forgiveness and removal of cumulative consequences. Indeed, it is true that Jesus died on the Cross-as a substitution for the sins of those who place faith in Him.  However, does that mean that all of the consequence or sin and sins are removed at the cross in every area of life?  Some people believe the answer is yes, but the answer is an emphatic no.  For instance, the thief on the cross still died for his crimes, while he was forgiven of his sins. Therefore, a principle that needs to be understood is that consequences in the human life remain even when there is full forgiveness.  Something to consider is that many people see forgiveness as a relief from responsibility for behavior. Obviously, escapist thinking under girds many beliefs that people have about forgiveness from bad behavior.  One place this is evident is in the majority of prayers prayed by people that focus upon God relieving or delivering from individuals from consequences in life instead of changing the person by providing ability to bear up under consequences and remaining faithful in circumstances.  Somehow, some people have come to believe that when they are forgiven of wrongdoing they will no longer have to live under the conditions that bring consequences from choices made or face responsibility for consequences. Unfortunately, the fact remains that unethical, unjust behavior influence, levels of trust, communication, and relationship dynamics that affect everything in life.

There is no doubt that common sense tells us that when something horrendous occurs to a person emotionally, psychologically, or personally devastates life, it will not be relieved with a simple “I’m sorry”. In fact, something is out of balance with thinking that forgiveness equates an words of contrition, or acting like something did not happen. Obviously, it is like believing the words, “I am sorry” will remap the cells of brain, change thought patterns, modify behaviors in way that minimizes, erases responsibility and eradicates consequences.  Further, this point of view is prevalent among those in the church and is expressed through an attitude that places greater emphasis upon acceptance of wrongdoers than it does upon the spiritual, social, and eternal consequences of evil acts. Obviously, all actions have consequences and as much as individuals may want to ignore them, pretend they don’t exist, or mystically wish them away, there is an ongoing impact on life. As a result, what can be learned from church history is the point of view that minimizes responsibility from wrongdoing is called, Antinomianism.

This perspective presented a problem recorded in the book of Roman where Paul asked a question directed at responsibility for actions, “What shall we say then, shall we continue in sin that grace may abound”.  Consequently, rational people know that when there are evil acts, there is not a freedom from responsibility, but a challenge to accept responsibility that leads to a change in behavior in a responsible manner.

Apparently, some people believed that the more they sinned, the more grace was magnified as a principle of forgiveness and acceptance —more grace is evident and available.  Unfortunately, this is how many people view responsibility for their wrongdoing: the more they are forgiven, the less sensitivity that is felt about the grave nature of injustice to others.  For example, this is particularly evident in how passionately criminals rationalize the crimes against others when they find Jesus. Indeed, there is a feeling of need for relief through redemption and absolution in forgiveness.

However,   there is a visible absence of remorse, acts of restitution, or change of attitude about crimes committed against victims.  Those who are most passionate about forgiveness and who advocate acceptance, restoration, and vindication are those who have the greatest guilt and sin. What needs to be understood is that Jesus died on the cross for Sin to give a remedy for sin.  Sin is a legal term expressed in John 3:17, Romans 8:1, as condemnation, which means eternal punishment, separation from God.  The forgiveness that Jesus offers, in His work on the cross, is to provide a way to experience a changed life, not to escape the consequences of actions.  In the theological concept, forgiveness is about changing behavior and redeeming the consequences through building a life of trust and faith. On the other hand, naive acceptance without accountability reinforces the potential for evil to thrive and prosper.

One of the problems is that forgiveness is applied by using a utilitarian philosophy of forgiveness rooted in hedonism. The pleasure principle advocates that the greatest outcome in life is on the least path of resistance.  In other words, the way that brings the greatest pleasure in life. Utilitarian’s advocate the principle of greatest good and is the best for everyone concerned.

However, the question remains unanswered about how is the greatest good or best is determined?  Usually the good is in human terms, socially, from group input from sociocultural norms and mores’, not from a universal or rational truth.  Unfortunately, Utilitarian forgiveness is not very effective at helping people change behaviors or protecting people from harm, and restoring trust.

In this case, forgiveness carries with it toleration and means that there are no universal understanding of consequences for morally wrong behaviors.  Therefore, illegal activities and potentially damaging behavior deconstructs all normal boundaries for behavioral expectations and normal expectations about responsibility.  Therefore, when people become so desensitized to consequences of evil that the effect is no longer felt, the result is an inadequate view of forgiveness and responsibility.  As a result, when there is a fundamental belief that there is forgiveness for sin and there are no consequences, spiritual change or personal growth does not occur as a life principle.  Behavior adapts to wrongdoing creating no accountability and the system dynamic makes the abnormal the normal.  Consequently, forgiveness should demonstrate change in the forgiven not reinforce a potential to act in evil ways without accountability. Consequently, forgiveness should mean that, I am changing how I feel and how I believe, so life can move forward in a healthy productive way.

A cultural challenge to forgiveness in the 21st century is that within Utilitarian thought there is never really any possibility of right or wrong.  Obviously, this belief is connected to a relativistic view of culture that removes all moral implications of sin or wrongdoing and no absolutes.  Therefore, the view is that nothing is really ever wrong, so forgiveness is just a psychological transaction where feelings are purged creating emotional catharsis and acceptance.  However, novel that may seem to modern people, this thinking does little for the person who has been violated and who has memories encoded with trauma after an experience creating Post-Traumatic Stress.

Forgiveness is an internal process that sets the forgiving person free from bitterness and internalizing of pain in self-destructive ways. However, contrary to popular thought, forgiveness does not mean the offender is free from the consequences of their actions.  The news report about Usama bin Laden being killed is a sober reminder that evil actions have consequences that will stalk a person and exact a penalty sooner or later through consequence in life and after death.  Obviously, we live in a time when universal truth has been rejected and been replaced with a view that makes all actions relative to the person. Consequently, the reality of 21st century sophistry is no moral right and wrong, but only what is relative to a person or a group.

Another point of view presented in Psalm 37 says,” Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity.  For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb”.  Indeed what will happen is that a every person will fall into the hands of a just God who has reminded us that there are consequence for evil acts of violence.  Therefore, the message that resounds is the pain we feel for unjust acts in this life is only a token of the eternal reward for injustice from evil acts in this life.  Something to think about is that a point of view that may not be popular, but is a eternal reality is that God will have the last word on every act and consequence of evil behavior.

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Filed under Ethics, Index, Mental Health Issues, Perception, Relationships, Spiritual Development, The Soul

Point of View: How Perspective Influences Cultural Trends and Communication


Railroad tracks

A Narrow and Vanishing Perspective

I only have one opinion so it is the only one I can give.  I know that sounds narrow minded and resistant, but isn’t that really what it boils down to with everyone?  However, the problem with opinion is that many time opinions are irrelevant in an atmosphere of constant change of culture and communication technology.  As a result, one of the challenges in modern world is to understand the speed that culture is changing right before our eyes and how the communication of ideas is in constant state of flux.  Therefore,  on the high speed information network, the challenge reinforces a constant need to adapt to changing constructs and to understand that there may be an inhibited ability to comprehend the rate that information passing before our eyes is  feeding a blurred generational and cultural myopia.  In a world  where a narrow perspective is vanishing, some people may ask: Does any generation have an absolute truth or a point of view that is constant, timeless, and irrefutable through all of time, generations, and cultures to balance information contained in the communication of ideas?  Obviously, while there are differences about the answer, the ideas that many people hold as timeless principles of truth seems to be quickly vanishing in the milieu of ideas and being edited within the context of modern culture. A strong point of consideration about information and communication in a world that is technology bound is the strong evidence to suggest that the happenings of culture today are affecting, not only what subjects are relevant to the times, but how communication occurs in the 21st century.

In recent blog post Ed Stetzer (2011) cited Adlai Stevenson who stated, ‘”That which seems the height of absurdity in one generation often becomes the height of wisdom in another.’ He did not have a particularly high view of the next generation, but he does challenge us to consider the radical changes in thinking that are sometimes seen between generations” (Stetzer).   The apparent point to be understood is that every generation has a perspective that shapes contemporary beliefs— what is deemed important—values that form a perspective about level of importance of certain ideas.  In addition, it is not just the message of communication and values that is important, it is the fact that methods of communicating from the past are vanishing and being replaced on the super highway of technology. Consequently, what is apparent from an understanding cultural transformation in the 21st century is that a present cultural perspective is shaping point of view and validating the principle that both the vehicle and the message in every generation creates a shift in how people in a given generation arrive at a destination that they believe is truth and in a vehicle that the present generation creates its own mind-set.

Just as people from different cultures, races, and people groups think differently about important issues, generations are cultural subgroups of the macrocosm of human existence.  It is evident that each  thinks differently about matters of  believed to be of importance.  However, remember that successive generations hold a different point of view that is emerging and is relevant to the time.  Therefore while people may disagree, different perspectives are worth taking time to consider. It is said that one thing common to every generation is how the collective perspective is internalized. Ed Stetzer  (2011)  cited George Orwell’s perspective, which states that “Each generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it and wiser than the one that comes after it” (Stetzer).  Someone from a past generation may ask: Are current generations really more intelligent or are earlier generations wiser?  Obviously, the answer depends on perspective – what it looks like from where you are standing or pontificating.

What perspectives are influencing the way life is understood in the 21st century?

The perspective, the unique way life is understood today, is a sociological and cultural phenomenon. For those who want to deny reality and continue to ignore what is shaping the point of view of the emergent culture of the 21st century only creates frustration and disconnection, which does not offer any substantive answers or a reasonable framework to understand reasoning behind current ideals.

Ideologues and philosophers offer suggestion about what is occurring, but unfortunately understanding ideals and philosophy alone will not provide efficacy that creates effective communication. Ideals, are generally moral ideas or mores’ based on certain group identification that create expectations about how people should think or act. Philosophical assumptions are the ways that beliefs are rationalized into reason.  Thus forming, the informational content of perspective. Values or axiology has more to do with what is deeply felt, importance, passion, and motivation that affect beliefs. For example, the   felt importance of something believed to be true.  When tension deposited in life experience that conflicts with values, it results in conflicting ideas about importance that creates a  disconnect between perceptions and experienced reality.

The question is formed: Who/what is right how can the way values are felt be rationalized with experience that does not match a reality believed?  Unfortunately, I find myself at odds with most idealist and the emphasis upon what should be and find myself focused upon what emerging culture is saying. As a point of reference something that needs to be understood is how to  connect perception to reality.  Consequently, the constant flow of information  redefines the importance of what seems logical in one generation as information is disseminated and absorbed into successive generations.  Therefore, there is a tension that exists in the message and mode of communication that results in aberrations in what is felt about the information, which places the greatest emphasis upon perspective.

Obviously, anyone can give an opinion about what is wrong with something.  However, knowing what is wrong is not the critical issue in communication of solutions that are workable.  One perspective that some people have is to write people off who look different, think different, and have a differing perspective.  Another point of view is to embrace the culture and learn the language, thinking, and mindset of the 21st century.  Seeing someone else’s perspective is not whitewashing culture or moralizing behaviors, it is asking why do people do that in the way they do and understanding if the desire is to connect, communicate, and build meaningful relationships that we need to understand more than what we know.

With the increasing isolation of people and the desire to have relationships, there is a tremendous opportunity to step outside a solitary opinion and understand people as part of a culture that thinks different than we do.  The opportunity demonstrates a tremendous potential, if we will take time to understand how perception formation is impacting beliefs and governs the content and methods of communication in the 21st century.

Point of View Perspective Beliefs God Theology Church Traditions Statistics Surveys Theory Demographics Communication Context Relationships Unchurched Christian Universalism Philosophy Vision Mission Outcome.

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Filed under Church Culture, Communication, Index, Influence, Leadership, Perception, Postmodernism, Sociology, Spiritual Development, Spirituality, Technology

Who is Forecasting Your Hope?


After getting up this morning, I looked at the temperature on my cell phone and  the screen says  it  is 33 degrees in Live Oak Florida.  It looks like the message this morning is that it is going to be one of those cold frigid days.  I guess a question I can ask this morning is how the frigid climate is going to affect life today.  While thinking about the forecast, one of the realities that I am aware of is that I cannot ignore, change, or, fix cold weather.  Nevertheless, I can detach myself from the feeling of being cold by getting under a warm blanket and create a level of comfort in my own skin, no matter how cold the weather forecast seems to project it will be.

Something learned here is that weather conditions or forecasts do not define reality inside of life; they only project conditions that as described by a point of view.  A critical issue about cold weather is not so much the temperature itself, but the sensations associated with cold –or how we feel about it.  Some people love cold weather, want to live in it, play in it, and work in it.  One reason that some people thrive in a particular climate is that they enjoy the conditions and feeling that it brings.  Thinking about this intuitively recalls the idea that there are beliefs that we have about life conditions that bring a perspective to life. If perspective is skewed by negative feelings attached to events, what is felt in the moment will distort perception about possibilities.  The result from a forecast that is felt in a given direction will influence the quality and quantity of accomplishment present and future events.

So often, it is neither the truth nor the facts about the future that motivate behaviors, it is how we feel about events and what we believe to be true –whether it is or is not true.  Apply this to presidential candidates: Whom do you feel like will be the nominee for the election process?  Most likely, your answer will reveal what you feel is true, an emotive process based on a believed precept, accepted to be true from the forecast that heard.  Then, it is true that felt perception influences beliefs predicting how behavior demonstrates in actions.  A good exercise in intuition is to ask; what does behavior say about t individual –core beliefs held to be true?

So, how did I get from weather to presidential politics?  It is not the forecast that is so important. It is what we feel to be true that determines held-beliefs about the information seen and heard about presidential candidates in 2012.  A truth contained here is that this can be a cold year or a warm year. However, a reality follows is that we can have success in the cold or it can be a warm and seasonal year of prosperity.  The difference is in how we feel about what we hear in the forecasts, how we feel about that, and what actions result.

Consider a biblical example. In the first chapter of Nehemiah, consider two different perspectives.  First, look at the perspective of the people who reported to him.  Their lived experience was pain, destruction, and ruin.  They saw the city in ruins; Nehemiah saw a city with potential to be great again.  The application comes like this; felt-experience does determine a point of view.  A perception that shows not only deeply felt belief, but also the important and powerful impact of how what we believe shapes response to life-events.

Nehemiah’s perspective reveals a point of view that communicates that even though there was a negative forecast causing grief, he made the choice to detached himself from the painful emotional consequences in order embrace potential in what could be by embracing a future beyond the forecast, beyond the pain, and beyond the distorted forecast painted by negative circumstances.  A point that well taken is that deeply held beliefs will shape reality into lived-experience today

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Filed under Attitude, Cognitive Psychology, Consulting, Hope, Index, Leadership, Perception

Finding Hope in a Time of Uncertainty


It’s the beginning of a new year, and I am reminded that it is an opportunity to start again. This article is the early morning musing that comes from a daily habit of reflection about one day in life and what it means.  There are a lot of good questions ask about life that are important, but pondering the time of year and the opportunity for starting over.  A thought that comes to mind this morning is that opportunity is in our hands to make a positive contribution toward making this year count.  As a result, the question that I am pondering this morning asks a question connected to effectiveness at living in 2012: what are you going to do with opportunity in the coming year?  It is a good question and a personal question which focuses upon each one of us and all of us collectively.  In a times  such as this, “the new year” there is a poignant reminder that nothing ever stays the same –time keeps moving in a forward direction — and that if we do not change with time, we will be left in the dust of yesterdays dreams.

Yesterdays dreams may be filled with regrets, unfinished business, unpaid bills, or unfulfilled wishes.  This is readily witnessed in the current climate of the 21st century where much attention is directed toward the changing dynamics of American culture, politics, as well as personal issues, which have forced unwanted change upon life. With that in mind, I am reminded that attention directed to the future will be effective for those who are willing to embrace its potential and embrace hope in the unseen power that is possessed to build a path into a desirable future.  The direction that effectiveness will take is directly related to what you are willing to do about self.  Harry S. Truman said, “In reading the lives of great men, I found that the first victory they won was over themselves? self-discipline with all of them came first.”   Fulfilled dreams are not magical events or mystical feelings which are not grounded in reality, they are actions possessed by a forward attitude of determination committed to making a difference in each life,as well as, the larger world of people to make a meaningful difference.

For many,  instead of being a time of discipline focused toward a goal, the new year will be a time when morbid regret is focused upon diminished hope that results in trying to prop up the past, restore the past, or revive some idealized perspective that results from a life of constantly looking in the rear view mirror of life. One thing for sure is that life does not progress; while focus remains centered upon the unresolved, undone, or not finished business in the past. Indeed, the future belongs to those who are brave enough, willing enough, and strong enough to step with faith into a future that God alone knows and holds in His hand.

In the coming months, if the focus of life remains focused upon the lost hopes and dreams of an idealized American culture, economy, or social structure, then we may miss the opportunity to see a blossoming future where God does what only He can do through us in a world held hostage to hopelessness, isolation, and loneliness. It is a time that has been characterized by hopelessness where many remain discouraged. Solomon spoke about this attitude several thousand years ago and said, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. The value of these words resonate to the hopeful because while hope remains alive, we believe that a future is possible, that success is attainable, and goals are reachable. Indeed, it makes a difference what you believe about the future because– what you believe is what is most likely to happen right on time.

One of the things that is a pressing need today is to develop a discipline of hope among leaders that is grounded in a realistic look at what is ahead, a plan of action to arrive at a destination, and a way to keep accountable to the direction hope leads. Within this discipline, a challenge to possessing hope is in acceptance that hope is not just a feeling about life, about God, or something that is conjured up with positive affirming feelings. Rather, it is connected to a way of thinking that is rooted in faith in God, a firm belief in who God is, that He alone stands above– beyond– around– and ahead of every circumstance of life that we can encounter, and that He has a purpose to be fulfilled that brings meaning to existence.

Benjamin Disraeli said, “The secret of success is constancy of purpose.” Today, there is one thing that can motivate an attitude of belief that success is ahead is belief that there is design to what will occur.  That there is someone who is already there and knows the outcome every situation that will be faced in the days ahead.  Any hope that we can have today is not validated in a politician, a political process,  the economy, or other circumstances. Listen to the words of the psalmist David who said said, “What wait I for, my hope is in thee”. What are you waiting for and where is your hope today?

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Filed under Attitude, Hope, Index, Leadership

Science, Misinformation, and Make-Believe Memories


In what we know about memory, our memories serve a purpose of enabling people to make sense of the past and incorporate it into the present experience of life.  This importance of memories according to Loftus (2003) explains that people are the sum of our memories: what we have thought, what we are told, and what we believe.  In addition, we are not only shaped by our memories, but existence is shaped by our personal experience.  Loftus argues that we “seem to reinvent our memories, and in doing so, we become the person of our own imagination”  (p. 872).

An important distinction made about the power of suggestion upon initial memory of an event and how memory that is manipulated impacts beliefs formed about events.  Information offered by Elizabeth Loftus in, Make-Believe Memories, advocates that memories are malleable and subject to distortion and suggestion.  The following observations about how memory is influenced through eyewitness accounts of crimes:

“Misinformation can influence people’s memories when they are in a suggestive fashion or when they talk to other people who give their version of events. Misinformation can sway people when they see biased media coverage about some event that they may have experienced themselves. This phenomenon would ultimately be called the misinformation effect [Loftus' italics]” (p. 868).

An apparent assumption about initial memory of an event is that it is influenced by suggestion and post-memory influences, but also by the weight of said influences upon the person holding the memory.  A good place to begin in an understanding what misinformation effect actually means.

A dictionary description of the misinformation effect given in the APA Dictionary of Psychology (2007) states, “a phenomenon in which a person mistakenly recalls misleading information that an experimenter has provided, instead of accurately recalling the correct information that has been presented earlier (VandenBos, 2007).  This theory often used in connection with eyewitness memory of events in the investigation procedure.  Loftus cites a cause and effect relationship between what is presented to witnesses to a crime responses to questions asked i.e., “Research on memory distortion has shown that post event suggestion can contaminate what a person remembers” (p. 867).  As a result, a fair assumption about recall of a crime or incident is that the further removed a witness is from the incident and the more times it is discussed the greater chance there is that misinformation effect jades original memories of the event and details.

The position of this article presents the opinion that memory can be distorted by interjecting information and by using techniques which may be misleading to distort original memory.  What can be learned is that misinformation exerts an influence upon what may have been sensed, experienced, and stored in the memory at the time of an event.  The inference is that memories can be altered or changed in intentional and unintentional ways i.e., “Misinformation can influence people’s memories when they are in a suggestive fashion or when they talk to other people who give their version of events”, as cited in (u04d2 Make-Believe Memories, 2010).  A rational conclusion suggests that changes in memories are connected to the suggestions made by the examiner and suggestibility of the person remembering the account.  As a result, an explanation of the misinformation effect contained within the statement made through: post event suggestion (Loftus, 2003) which alters original memory that is stored as suggestion, as well as exposure to other perspectives about the memory-event places influence upon perception.

One important factor in the process is described by Sternberg (2009), as encoding (p. 217). Based on this description, how a memory is encoded –one’s experience, conditions surrounding an event –factors contributing to retrieval, will affect acquisition of information: “the physical, sensory input into a kind of representation” (p. 217) which distorts original sensory input.  Therefore, the misinformation effect suggests that, “suggestion can lead to false memories being injected outright into the minds of people” (Loftus, 2003).

When questions are asked that are suggestive,  false memories are injected into the first impressions of the person being questioned.  Loftus (2003) reports, “that leading questions could contaminate or distort a witness’s memory … Related studies showed that memory could become skewed with various techniques that fed misinformation to unsuspecting individuals” (Make-believe memories).  This practice is associated with techniques which are used in police-witness interviews to a crime.  For example, “Three errors occurred universally: interrupting the witness, asking too many short-answer questions, and inappropriate sequencing of questions” (Fisher, 1995).  A conclusion can be made here that demonstrates that when rehearsal of the memory is interspersed with the injection of questions, interruptions, dialogue, and questions, the initial sensory perception will become adapted to misinformation that affects perception of the original occurrence.

It may seem on the surface that the misinformation effect presents a negative perspective of how memory can be manipulated and the impact upon a criminal investigation.   However, one application of this theory may be of value when applied to research, which could aid in better training for law enforcement professional when conducting witness interviews.  In addition, another application could be that when misinformation is used to correct distorted memories, it may hold properties of value, which present a therapeutic value.  Some examples could be in treatment with those who have experienced traumatic events that present with PTSD symptoms or anxiety related conditions.

Obviously, this article only scratches the surface and more needs to be written on such an important subject of interest.

References

Fisher, R. P. (1995). Interviewing victims and witnesses of a crime. Psychology, Public Policy,  Law [electronic version] , 1 (4), 732-764, http://web.ebscohost.com.library.capella.edu doi:10.1037/1076-8971.1.4.732.

Loftus, E. F. (2003, November). Make-believe memories. Journal of Experimental Psychology: Applied [electronic version] , 14 (3), pp. 255-265, http://web.ebscohost.com.library.capella.edu/ehost, doi: 10.1037/1076-898X.14.3.255.

Sternberg, R. J. (2009). Cognitive Psychology (5th Edition ed.). Belmont, California, USA: Wadsworth, Cenage Learning.

u04d2 Make-Believe Memories. (2010). Retrieved 5 2009, August , from Capella Universisty: http://courseroom2.capella.edu/

VandenBos, G. R. (Ed.). (2007). APA Dictionary of Psychology. Washington, DC, USA: American Psychological Association.

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Science, Philosophy, Reason, and Life Without Memory


Watching this video is a very sobering look at the way that what the memory provides to an individual in the everyday activities is taken for granted and that without a functioning memory there is no connection with the past, identity, and a conscious way of relating to the present activities of life or the future. A line from the film says it clearly, “I think it is a very dramatic illustration particularly for the public of what it is like to being without memory. For example, this constant feeling that he has just waken up or he has not tasted anything before” (The Anenburg Foundation, 2009). While the video, stimulated thoughts about the value of memory, there is also the thought about how many things could be different, if only some memories could be erased. However, a connection is implicit from the story that it is relative to every individual is and how functioning occurs in life within the environment.

One question which has already been discussed in previous posts in the connection between the brain and the mind. If consciousness and memory are functions of the brain, but also connected to the mind, then there is a relationship between the anatomical structure of the, how the mind operates, neurologically, function, and the wakening experience of awareness in behavior and response. The way that memory is encoded and retrieved forms an understanding of knowing, believing, and behaving. Sternberg (2009) says, “A memory is a mental experience taken to be veridical (truthful) representation from one’s past.  Memories can be false in relatively minor ways … and in major ways that can have profound implications for oneself and others” (p. 198).  In the case of Wearing’s condition, the damage to the brain through Encephalitis affected not only the encoding, but also the ability to recall because of the damage to the Hippo-campus. This raises another observation about the impact of chemical, biological affects to the brain, mind functioning.

It has been established that Teratogens, (Friedman J.M., 1999), affect development of the brain, and also how the introduction of disease destroys tissue, thus disabling explicit memory (Sternberg, 2009, p. 180) from engaging the mind in an experience of conscious recollection (p. 180). A question might be posed about the difference in the absence of explicit memory in contrast to implicit use of information (p. 180). This is discussed in the dialogue by Dr. Michael Oddy who stated, “We ask him if he would like the coffee … But it is all about current events, it is about the surroundings (The Anenburg Foundation, 2009). The events seem to suggest that there is not a reference to past experiences that could have been encoded and recalled, but rather knowing through cognition of present observations in the moment.

The traditional model of memory referred to by Sternberg (2009), in William James (1890-1970) theory of primary memory and secondary memory; then later Waugh and Norman, 1965 (p. 182) give explanation of the components and functions of the memory that are not in tact as a result of disease which destroyed brain tissue. However, the theories as presented, do not adequately offer explanation of ingrained skill or the, “four or five things, he will if questioned appropriately tell you about” (The Anenburg Foundation, 2009). In analysis, it seems evident that one working model of memory does not provide a complete picture without gaining insight from a Neuropsychology model that examines how dissociation of function, “to explain a link between a particular lesion or function” (Sternberg, 2009, p. 207). It seems that there is a correlational relationship to all of the activities, biology, physical structures, or trauma to the brain which in turn affects what happens in conscious awareness that is connected to how perception occurs, what is understood and believed, and what the experience of the life is in feeling and behavior.   How important is this to advancing understanding in the study of psychology?

It cannot be underscored enough that understanding what has been written and engaging with current and future research will build a bridge from the encoded memory that has been described by theorist to provide ongoing and enriched understanding of how the functioning of memory in the mind-brain relationship is enhanced by the value of ongoing research in Cognitive Affective Psychology.

                                                                                                                                           References

Friedman JM, a. J. (1999). Clinical Teratology: identifying teratogenic risks in humans. Retrieved October 21, 2009, from Capella Library: http://search.ebscohost.com.library.capella.edu, doi:10.1034/j.1399-0004.1999.560601.xJans,
Sternberg, R. J. (2009). Cognitive Psychology (5th Edition ed.). Belmont, California, USA: Wadsworth, Cenage Learning.
The Anenburg Foundation. (2009). Life without memory: The case of Clive Wearing, Part 1. Washington, DC: Annenberg Media, Learner.org., DC.

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Filed under Cognitive Psychology, Index, Memory, Mental Health Issues, Perception

Spirituality: Jesus the Church, Evangelism, Discipleship, and Multiculturalism


spirituality shelf

Which Books are You Reading?

Albert Mohler (2010) said, “As the period of emerging adulthood grows longer, young people are becoming more alienated spiritually.”  Mohler’s statement raises questions about what is occurring in 21st century within beliefs about spirituality. It is apparent that there is a significant departure from the views held by evangelical Christians who have had a predominate voice in shaping opinions in earlier generations. A good question to ask is who or what is influencing the views of this emergent generation and will evangelical Christian maintain their ability to influence this generation?

For social theorists this might be a developmental stage of an evolving culture.  If they are correct what can be understood about the process and what is important to understand? Within the discipline of psychology, there is a principle taught in life–stage theory that every period of life has an identity crisis and skill development must occur that enables a successful transition to  face the responsibilities of the next period of existence.   The theory purports that there is a natural development process that contributes to being able to engage with life and have efficacious responses in the challenges that are a part of the experience of life.  This an interesting analogy to make about how culture is developing, but what is the result of the process?

The results are portrayed in a fundamental gap between generations and that the distinctive beliefs of the past have not been articulated in a way that demonstrates a connection between what has been believed about matters of faith, morality, and God and what is believed now.  One of the questions may be have we advanced as a culture in the view about spirituality? Consider the views of the past generation about spirituality.  Is the earlier better informed than the present?  If so, has the view of the past informed, equipped, the present generation with the essential skills to enter a new time, face different responsibilities-challenges?

Could it be that Spirituality in America is in need of family systems therapy?

Apparently there are perceptions about spirituality today suggests a noticeable departure from traditionally held views of spirituality to a changing perspective. Ed Stetzer (2011) says, “This generation is open to God and spirituality. When asked if they considered themselves to be spiritual, 73 percent of respondents age 20-29 answered affirmatively” (Stetzer).  In response, a question that may not be addressed adequately in literature today is what impact does how the last period–generation approached spirituality have upon the present understanding of spirituality?  What is apparent is that there is a clear disconnect from traditionally held views.  Has a rebellious child of the 60’s 70’s or 80’s been raised and is misbehaving and we don’t like what is happening?

The statistics cited by Stetzer (2001) indicates that the respondents are indeed open to God and have a belief that they are spiritual, which essentially is not different than previous generations, but in retrospect, what does it really mean?

One assumption is that because there is openness and the basic belief about personal spirituality that there is motivation to understand life in spiritual terms and indeed someone—something is defining what spirituality means.  Sometimes I hear people referring to culture as an evil force – a collective consciousness that is leading people away from or at odds with another point of view. However, culture is better understood as “The totality of socially transmitted behavior patterns, arts, beliefs, institutions, and all other products of human work and thought” (Free Dictionary) which describes culture as a defining force in a point of view. Therefore, there are culturally implicit beliefs, behaviors, and values characterizing the way differing generations, groups, races, and religions internalize information and externalize behaviors. As Stetzer (2011) describes this generation, it is not a generalization about all modern culture, but an indication of a group perspective.

A caution about generalizing statistics that needs to be understood is that popular surveys are not scientifically validated and some research that is offered–used to infer conclusions–may not be accurately applied.  An example of this is how people often say that “we live in a Christian nation” which reflects the point of view that historically may be valid, but unfortunately is not a fair nor accurate collective representation of America. Therefore, a larger question that needs to be understood which moves beyond what popular beliefs are is where do the respondents, 20-29 year olds,  get their point of view and what influences within this cultural group impact the perceptions reported, and what conclusions can be inferred about what spiritual communication will engage this emergent generation?

A fundamental question posited here is can this generation be engaged in a discussion about spirituality and motivated to respond without others understanding what prompts what millennial’s value and believe?

Understanding what the behavior means and what is shaping the values of 20-29 year olds is not interesting or appealing to many people. However, a challenge for traditional– modern Americans is to accept that multi-culturalism is shaping the view of people.  If  there is going to be meaningful engagement of the emerging peoples, groups, and cultures, it means that understanding what is driving the point of view, what are the assumptions, and how competence can be developed that enables an understanding outside of self which is motivated by an interest in connecting generations that are disconnected and can benefit from what the other brings to the process.

It is an easy thing to generalize and for adults to look at small children and expect them to understand and behave as an adult.  It is also easy for children to look at their parents and think they are really not very informed and disregard what may be simply not understood.  Unfortunately, in the milieu of cafeteria-style spirituality, the absence of a distinctive clarifying voice  that is having a significant impact upon culture, there is a danger present of morally and spiritually bankrupting the core values in modern culture.

Keywords: Spirituality, Culture, Sociology, Multi-culturalism, Generations, Millennial, Perspective, Perception, Beliefs, Consciousness, Behaviors, Generalizing, Statistics, Research, Communication, an Cultural- Identity.

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Synthetic Spirituality: Is it New Wine in Old Skins or Something Else?


Florida Baptist Theological College Graceville Florida

When the apostle Paul says, “Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ” (Colossians 2:8), what does it mean to 21st century Christians?  There is a poignant reminder that there is a present and real impact that popular beliefs held in culture can overshadow how spiritual beliefs are integrated into organizational life in the culture of the church.

Recently, evidence of a shifting paradigm reflecting views about interest in organized religion and current spiritual beliefs, presented in an opinion article written by Chris Mooney, reports, “Across the Western world — including the United States — traditional religion is in decline, even as there has been a surge of interest in “spirituality.”  What’s more, the latter concept is increasingly being redefined in our culture so that it refers to something very much separable from, and potentially broader than, religious faith.”  The disparaging remarks about about traditional religion and interest in spirituality reveal a perspective moving toward synthesizing postmodern religious beliefs into a new form of spirituality.

A Modern Definition of Spirituality

 Mooney indicates that the shift in modern culture has redefined how previous beliefs about spirituality synthesized into a contemporary application form a new perspective, “Nowadays, unlike in prior centuries, spirituality, and religion are no longer thought to exist in a one-to-one relationship.  Spirituality is something everyone can have — even atheists. In its most expansive sense, it could simply be taken to refer to any individual’s particular quest to discover, that which is held sacred.  What is apparent is that post-modern views have embraced an eclectic point of view that demonstrates a shift in authority and knowledge from beliefs held in the Christian Bible to what is relative to the present culture.

 Application: A Non-specific Spiritual Relativity that Shifts Truth about Spirituality from Biblical Truth to Personal  Experience.

 This report by Mooney  illustrates how the locus of truth forming current beliefs about spiritual ideologies has shifted from the institution to culture, from culture to the collective opinion, and the collective group to individual relativity.  Therefore, we can all find our own sacred things — and we can all have our own life-altering spiritual experiences.  These [beliefs and experiences] are not necessarily tied to any creed, doctrine, or belief; they grip us on an emotional level, rather than a cognitive or rational one.  That feeling of awe and wonder that sense of a deep unity with the universe or cosmos— such intuitions might lead to a traditional religious outlook on the world, or they might not.  An analysis Mooney’s observation reveals a contemporary presentation of spirituality emphasizing cultural relativism as the absolute, the hermeneutic, for understanding what spirituality means in the 21st century.  Conclusions can be inferred that spirituality may mean something quite different from what is contained in the historic view of God that defines spirituality in terms of a relationship with God through Jesus Christ.  One fundamental question that needs to be answered is what this non-specific spiritual relativity has done to bolster belief in the essential nature of God.  Is the new form of spirituality a belief in God or the antithesis of what has been believed for centuries?

 Is Modern Spirituality Atheism in a Rebranded?

What may not be apparent to many casual onlookers is that in the re-branding of spirituality into the synthetic form that spirituality has taken on the form of agnosticism and for some atheism. The Nuevo spirituality has gained the attention of entertainers and Richard Dawkins, the most prominent atheist of them all who reports that he has certainly felt spiritual uplift.  In response, he has written an entire book, Unweaving the Rainbow, about the wonder that comes with learning how things really work.  Dawkins, in a recent interview with Al-Jazeera, said that “spirituality can mean something that I’m very sympathetic to, which is, a sort of sense of wonder at the beauty of the universe, the complexity of life, the magnitude of space, the magnitude of geological time.  All those things create a sort of frisson in the breast, which you could call spirituality.”

“But,” Dawkins quickly added, “I would be very concerned that it shouldn’t be confused with super naturalism.”… It does not require science and faith to be logically compatible, for instance.  Nor does it require that we believe in anything we cannot prove.  Spirituality simply doesn’t operate on that level.  It’s about emotions and experiences, not premises or postulates. What can be taken away from what Dawkins says is that in his view of spirituality there is nothing definite that is founded on premises of truth, it is the subjective experience of a human experience that is in no way connected to any belief in God.

Cultural Christianity and Atheism

In Al Jazeera’s Riz Khan interview with biologist Richard Dawkins , the article continues and states  how Richard Dawkins sometimes describes himself as a cultural ChristianHe says that he is fond of the sort of mild Church-of-England Christianity where nobody really believes it or takes it very seriously, a bit like many of his Jewish friends who call themselves cultural Jews but who are actually atheists. Unfortunately, the position of Dawkins is not his alone, but a popular position that is embraced by many advocates of current opinions about spirituality.  The conclusion leads to a formidable fact that what is contained in much of the spiritual rhetoric being bandied about today is nothing more than the resurrection of atheism.

The view inside the church and the source of conflict: Secularization of the Sacred

What is apparent is that there is a shift in thinking about spirituality that is not only outside the church, but also is influencing how things are done in the church.  In a 2005 article in Christianity TodaySpirituality for All the Wong Reasons(March 2005) managing editor, Mark Galli presents a series of questions to Eugene Peterson about how spirituality is viewed inside the church. An interesting observation at the beginning of the article is the point that Peterson makes about how spirituality is compartmentalized and disconnected from the material life, “It avoids the ordinary, the everyday, the physical, the material.  It’s a form of Gnosticism, and it has a terrific appeal because it’s a spirituality that doesn’t have anything to do with doing the dishes or changing diapers or going to work.  There’s not much integration with work, people, sin, trouble, inconvenience” (p. 44).  This point of view is well supported and demonstrated within the sacred-secular distinction that characterizes the lived experience of many people inside the life of the church.

Dr. Albert Mohler, President of The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary  says, “The real question posed by Mooney’s USA Today column is whether Christians possess the discernment to recognize this postmodern mode of spirituality for what it is — unbelief wearing the language of a bland faith.’

Mohler’s observation that, “Chris Mooney might be on to something here. The American public just might be confused enough to fall for this spirituality ploy.  Will Christians do the same?”  (Albert Mohler) demonstrates that there is a significant influence being place upon historic perspectives of spirituality that is having an impact upon beliefs and practice, but also on organizational behavior inside and outside the church.

What is apparent is that there is cultural change that is influencing not only what is thought, but also how thoughts and ideas are influencing what is believed.  Only time will tell what comes of these current developments in American culture and how it will influence not only culture, but also the spiritual lives of the people of this generation and the generations to come.

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Filed under Index, Postmodernism, Sociology, Southern Baptist News, Spiritual Development, Spirituality

Living in the Shadow of Technology: Noise and Electronic Communication


Cool_pix_july_2010_150

lt is like living by the freeway and hearing the noise of traffic passing by– hour by hour– day by day.  The noise of the traffic, constant movement, telling the story that people are busy and that life is moving on, everyone traveling in their own direction, but where are they going?  To a charted direction, toward a destination of choice, to a reality created, the panacea of choice: Traffic constantly moving, what does it mean? Creating familiar sounds, the constant clatter of technology moving day and night describing meaning, declaring truth moving forward on a journey to somewhere, but where will it go, and what does it mean? Familiar sounds, which resonate a message, machinery moving, always going, traveling at the speed of sound, advancing electronic communication at its finest; but is the message communication between humans or just the clatter of technology?

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