Forgiveness Consequences and Consequences of Evil Acts

What response is appropriate when trust in violated repeatedly by someone who does you wrong, violates your personal boundaries, and continually act in ways that consume your life emotionally, physically, and financially?  The obvious answer for many people is to run away and put as much distance between you and the offender as possible.  However, when an effort is made to manage others behavior, it can be a slippery slope.  It is like the old saying, “it takes two to Tango”.  Indeed assessing blame and taking responsibility for perceived unjust or unethical behavior  can turn on the accuser because everyone sees life events through a unique perspective.  Obviously, it is easier to blame others or appear to be what someone else has done instead of accepting responsibility for personal involvement and participation in a conflict situation that has produced actions, feelings, and outcome.

Looking at forgiveness from a purely religious or theological perspective leaves people with distorted ideas about responsibility for actions that violate another person’s rights, or that defrauds another person willfully of benefit.  Many people think that you are supposed to get “holy amnesia” when you are wronged by someone and if you are really spiritual that you will act as if nothing ever happened.  As a result, when some people look at the idea of forgiveness through a theological construction, often emphasis is placed upon unconditional forgiveness. In fact, unconditional forgiveness ideally removes responsibility for actions, absolves guilt, removes consequences, and restores relationships. However, when it comes to the subject of forgiveness an important issue to consider is that human beings are emotional beings subject to human limitations and are not God.  Unfortunately many people who have been deeply hurt by others are further damaged by guilt and manipulation of idealist who may not understand fully that there is more to forgiveness than holy amnesia.  Consequently, when it comes to forgiveness many people apply the doctrine of redemption and forgiveness that is provide by God upon human experiences as if it is normal to act just as God does while living as a finite human being. Unfortunately, for many people feeling the hurt and pain of broken relationships the pain doesn’t get any better when religious notions are used to bruise the offended further. Think about this: if the central emphasis is placed upon benefit for the sinner, relief for the offender, and not upon the effects of behavior on the way relationships have become tangled, there can be little growth without a healthy process that addresses the consequences for the act of offense.

In a simplistic, view of forgiveness is a need for relief from any sense of guilt from actions and vindication, i.e., relief from emotional, social, and, personal for wrongdoing.  In a theological understanding penalty is  removed and sinners escape eternal separation from God, as well as the benefit of relationship in the present.  However, the theological definition is not a very practical way to apply to how forgiveness between people occurs who are the product of a fallen nature, an developing spiritual capacity, and who experience systemic relational problems.  Obviously, individuals with a diminished developmental difficulty lack a God-like ability to negotiate healthy balance between forgiveness and responsibility.  Therefore, when many people think of forgiveness they are equating it with to the doctrine of absolution from Roman Catholic Theology, where the priest mystically removed the penalty for wrong acts. Consequently, when the discussion about forgiveness is raised, movement away from a simplistic view of people who live by shoulds and should nots will be enhanced when we realize that people must go through a process toward forgiveness that is not instant “holy amnesia”.

One way to think about this is that there is a fundamental difference between forgiveness and removal of cumulative consequences. Indeed, it is true that Jesus died on the Cross-as a substitution for the sins of those who place faith in Him.  However, does that mean that all of the consequence or sin and sins are removed at the cross in every area of life?  Some people believe the answer is yes, but the answer is an emphatic no.  For instance, the thief on the cross still died for his crimes, while he was forgiven of his sins. Therefore, a principle that needs to be understood is that consequences in the human life remain even when there is full forgiveness.  Something to consider is that many people see forgiveness as a relief from responsibility for behavior. Obviously, escapist thinking under girds many beliefs that people have about forgiveness from bad behavior.  One place this is evident is in the majority of prayers prayed by people that focus upon God relieving or delivering from individuals from consequences in life instead of changing the person by providing ability to bear up under consequences and remaining faithful in circumstances.  Somehow, some people have come to believe that when they are forgiven of wrongdoing they will no longer have to live under the conditions that bring consequences from choices made or face responsibility for consequences. Unfortunately, the fact remains that unethical, unjust behavior influence, levels of trust, communication, and relationship dynamics that affect everything in life.

There is no doubt that common sense tells us that when something horrendous occurs to a person emotionally, psychologically, or personally devastates life, it will not be relieved with a simple “I’m sorry”. In fact, something is out of balance with thinking that forgiveness equates an words of contrition, or acting like something did not happen. Obviously, it is like believing the words, “I am sorry” will remap the cells of brain, change thought patterns, modify behaviors in way that minimizes, erases responsibility and eradicates consequences.  Further, this point of view is prevalent among those in the church and is expressed through an attitude that places greater emphasis upon acceptance of wrongdoers than it does upon the spiritual, social, and eternal consequences of evil acts. Obviously, all actions have consequences and as much as individuals may want to ignore them, pretend they don’t exist, or mystically wish them away, there is an ongoing impact on life. As a result, what can be learned from church history is the point of view that minimizes responsibility from wrongdoing is called, Antinomianism.

This perspective presented a problem recorded in the book of Roman where Paul asked a question directed at responsibility for actions, “What shall we say then, shall we continue in sin that grace may abound”.  Consequently, rational people know that when there are evil acts, there is not a freedom from responsibility, but a challenge to accept responsibility that leads to a change in behavior in a responsible manner.

Apparently, some people believed that the more they sinned, the more grace was magnified as a principle of forgiveness and acceptance —more grace is evident and available.  Unfortunately, this is how many people view responsibility for their wrongdoing: the more they are forgiven, the less sensitivity that is felt about the grave nature of injustice to others.  For example, this is particularly evident in how passionately criminals rationalize the crimes against others when they find Jesus. Indeed, there is a feeling of need for relief through redemption and absolution in forgiveness.

However,   there is a visible absence of remorse, acts of restitution, or change of attitude about crimes committed against victims.  Those who are most passionate about forgiveness and who advocate acceptance, restoration, and vindication are those who have the greatest guilt and sin. What needs to be understood is that Jesus died on the cross for Sin to give a remedy for sin.  Sin is a legal term expressed in John 3:17, Romans 8:1, as condemnation, which means eternal punishment, separation from God.  The forgiveness that Jesus offers, in His work on the cross, is to provide a way to experience a changed life, not to escape the consequences of actions.  In the theological concept, forgiveness is about changing behavior and redeeming the consequences through building a life of trust and faith. On the other hand, naive acceptance without accountability reinforces the potential for evil to thrive and prosper.

One of the problems is that forgiveness is applied by using a utilitarian philosophy of forgiveness rooted in hedonism. The pleasure principle advocates that the greatest outcome in life is on the least path of resistance.  In other words, the way that brings the greatest pleasure in life. Utilitarian’s advocate the principle of greatest good and is the best for everyone concerned.

However, the question remains unanswered about how is the greatest good or best is determined?  Usually the good is in human terms, socially, from group input from sociocultural norms and mores’, not from a universal or rational truth.  Unfortunately, Utilitarian forgiveness is not very effective at helping people change behaviors or protecting people from harm, and restoring trust.

In this case, forgiveness carries with it toleration and means that there are no universal understanding of consequences for morally wrong behaviors.  Therefore, illegal activities and potentially damaging behavior deconstructs all normal boundaries for behavioral expectations and normal expectations about responsibility.  Therefore, when people become so desensitized to consequences of evil that the effect is no longer felt, the result is an inadequate view of forgiveness and responsibility.  As a result, when there is a fundamental belief that there is forgiveness for sin and there are no consequences, spiritual change or personal growth does not occur as a life principle.  Behavior adapts to wrongdoing creating no accountability and the system dynamic makes the abnormal the normal.  Consequently, forgiveness should demonstrate change in the forgiven not reinforce a potential to act in evil ways without accountability. Consequently, forgiveness should mean that, I am changing how I feel and how I believe, so life can move forward in a healthy productive way.

A cultural challenge to forgiveness in the 21^st century is that within Utilitarian thought there is never really any possibility of right or wrong.  Obviously, this belief is connected to a relativistic view of culture that removes all moral implications of sin or wrongdoing and no absolutes.  Therefore, the view is that nothing is really ever wrong, so forgiveness is just a psychological transaction where feelings are purged creating emotional catharsis and acceptance.  However, novel that may seem to modern people, this thinking does little for the person who has been violated and who has memories encoded with trauma after an experience creating Post-Traumatic Stress.

Forgiveness is an internal process that sets the forgiving person free from bitterness and internalizing of pain in self-destructive ways. However, contrary to popular thought, forgiveness does not mean the offender is free from the consequences of their actions.  The news report about Usama bin Laden being killed is a sober reminder that evil actions have consequences that will stalk a person and exact a penalty sooner or later through consequence in life and after death.  Obviously, we live in a time when universal truth has been rejected and been replaced with a view that makes all actions relative to the person. Consequently, the reality of 21st century sophistry is no moral right and wrong, but only what is relative to a person or a group.

Another point of view presented in Psalm 37 says,” Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity.  For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb”.  Indeed what will happen is that a every person will fall into the hands of a just God who has reminded us that there are consequence for evil acts of violence.  Therefore, the message that resounds is the pain we feel for unjust acts in this life is only a token of the eternal reward for injustice from evil acts in this life.  Something to think about is that a point of view that may not be popular, but is a eternal reality is that God will have the last word on every act and consequence of evil behavior.

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Happiness: Living on the Street called Choice

A question often asked by people who are having problems says something like this, “When am I ever going be to be happy”? 

An underlying factor within the question is the level of dissatisfaction felt about life experience.  Another that issue associated with concerns about future happiness is a feeling of entitlement precedes the way individuals view the outcome of life.  A way to understand expectations about future happiness in life events is energized with a core belief that happiness is the capstone that describes a problem-free life.  Therefore, the normal, natural question about challenges is whether happiness is a real possibility to be attained.  A fundamental problem with a question like this is that it looks ahead to an unknown time and looks at life experience with a particular ideal world where happiness just happens. Obviously, the answer never comes for some individuals because of a lack of clear understanding of what happiness describes or what conditions must be met to create the “state” that some people describe as happiness.  As a result, a common explanation of happiness utilizes language intertwined with feelings about circumstances in life.  For instance, some descriptions of happiness are interpreted to mean removing all anxiety or other life disturbances standing in the way of an optimum state of euphoria achieved through a pain-free existence.  Therefore, happiness built upon an idealism of reducing life expectation to a simple no pain, resistance, or other difficulty formula holds the probability of great disappointment and lingering question, “When am I ever going be to be happy”?

So what is happiness anyway?

A place to begin is with a dictionary definition, which associates happiness as an emotion of joy, gladness, satisfaction, and well-being.  Since the dictionary defines it in terms of emotion, many people may conclude that when there is the absence of those life affirming emotions mentioned that happiness is not a reality.  Apparently, somehow meaning is attached to happiness that translates into an absence of pain or difficulty.  If you are a philosopher or study the field of Ethics, you will quickly identify this definition as consistent with ideas drawn from the philosophy of Hedonism, which describes the pleasure principle as the central motif of making life work in a way to reduce pain, discomfort, and difficulty for the “greatest good” as an outcome rationale.  Applying this philosophy of life affirms the idea that when people are happy life is experienced with the least amount of difficulty, pain, or unpleasantness within life experience. Obviously, this sounds good in principle, but it is a very simplistic way to view a very complex subject that leaves the questions of people with less than positive life experience with a lack of hope that happiness can be realized.

We usually seek success in order to find happiness.

One of the fallacies in looking at happiness because of circumstances is that it constructs happiness from feelings of success or performance outcome.  However, much of life is lived on a street that has noisy neighbors, sick children, grass to mow, snow to shovel, and storms that come and go.  The result is that life is full of experiences that may not have an outcome that feels like success.  A relevant point relates to how well-being and satisfaction incorporates into a life filled with experience that evokes negative emotional responses.  Unfortunately, what is missing from the dictionary definition is a comprehensive understanding of common happiness that everyone can have no matter what life brings. In reference to this, Dr. Marla Gottschalk states that:

How we “digest” our life experiences, both negative and positive, can be instrumental in influencing levels of happiness.  As Achor explains, reported happiness cannot always be fully explained by life events themselves –it is how we view those life events that prove to be pivotal.  Many of us have a tendency to become focused upon negative information and events (possibly an evolutionary necessity).  As a result, we may under-represent our successes and fail to draw energy from them. On some level, we give up our power to be happy – by resting its fate entirely in the external world – when in fact, our “internal script” can be quite influential. Shorter-lived emotions can contribute to a broader “affect”, or tendency to feel either positive or negative. (What is happiness then? (Positive Psychology and Happiness at Work).

Happiness precedes success in the way thoughts are constructed in the mind

Happiness is a way of thinking about life that uses an organized way of mental cognition that incorporates using “pathways thinking” to create momentum in the activity of life.  Unfortunately, the notion that experiencing a particular life outcome will create happiness is conceptually flawed because this perspective lacks a consistent and measurable inference.  For instance, placing two individuals in an exact set of circumstances does not indicate that happiness will occur sequentially or is predictable.  In fact, the level of well-being felt will depend more on the way individuals think about events than the events alone.  Obviously, two people can have the same experience and value the experience in different ways.  On the other hand, another way to look at happiness is that happiness is consistent with thinking constructs, which introduces quantitative and qualitative factors into the life that individuals experience.

Think about the meaning of the word, “life”

A simple definition of life is, “the animate existence or period of animate existence of an individual” (Dictionary.com). 

For many people life is just an existence or a human organic experience of conscious awareness with a sort of organic fatalism that reduces life to what we have in our genes and DNA.  However, life is much more than an organic existence of matter over a set period of time.  Life is an activity which describes a corresponding state, existence, or principle of existence conceived of as belonging to the soul” (Dictionary.com) as both quality of life and quantity of time in existence.  An idea expressed in the words of Jesus that connects a meaning to life that delineates a way of thinking about life that predicts outcome in life says, “I have come to give life; and life more abundant” (John 10:10 KJV).

Textual evidence from grammar interprets life as “zōḗ – life (physical and spiritual).  … it always (only) comes from and is sustained by God’s self-existent life”.  In addition, life is modified in the use of an adjective abundant … “perissós (an adjective), properly all-around …  beyond what is anticipated, exceeding expectation”, which describes a life lived with a view of life characterized by (well-being and satisfaction=happiness).  Another related word that adds meaning to the way Christians think about happiness spoken of in the Psalms is, “blessedness”, which describes a state of being in a Christian life that orders the thoughts around a spiritual view of life that is grounded in a reflective relationship with God.  Also, “blessedness” informs existence with an aptitude, a view toward life, informing the way behavior occurs in life. An important point to make is that in the Beatitudes, (Matthew 5:ff.) happiness is not associated with the removal of pain or the absence of challenging experiences, but rather, with a changed perspective.  In fact, the idea is that optimum happiness results from life being viewed through certain definable attitudes understood about life from God’s perspective.

Thinking patterns discipline the mind to create happiness and pathways for life

Later in the Bible, The apostle Paul wrote about the activity of the mind.  He said, “every thought should be brought into captive obedience to Christ.”  The message of I Corinthians resonates the principle that ineffective ways of thinking must be superseded with organizing the thoughts around a perspective of life dominated by a positive Christian mindset.  The idea is present in the text that suggests that vain ways of thinking result in spiritual captivity to false ideas about life.  So, when life does not experience the well-being that individuals feel entitled to experience in the circumstances of life, what response should be given?  Peter said, “Gird up the loins of your mind” (1 Peter 1:13).  Strengthen the mental outlook is the central message of Peter to those facing persecution.  Obviously, there is a mental motif prescribed: When life is falling apart and does not give you the measure of success that is expected, quit fighting the circumstances to find happiness.  The point is to reorganize thinking around hope that will create new pathways, ways of thinking about life.  The consistent and compelling message about happiness is not the absence of challenging, heart-wrenching events.  The application is the message about the way thoughts are organized with a view toward life.  The application is about how inner strengths of character are identified through hope and how happiness develops a pathway to effective living. As a result, happiness will not be achieved through technological development, possession of things, or vain expectation: it is achieved through inner development of the person.

Common ideas about happiness are found in a belief that if a person takes up a hobby like wood carving, playing golf, or other activities that the unhappiness can be distracted denied, and delegitimized.  However, while distraction from pain or unhappiness may minimize the symptoms of unhappiness in life, it will not change a point of view about life.  The truth is that you can never remove unhappy events in life by replacing challenges with the innocuous placebo of pleasure.  One craving only leads to another, which leads to another reinforcing a life of pursuing pleasure to numb the pain felt about unhappiness in life circumstances.

What is the road to happiness?

The answer rests in altering ineffective thinking by cleaning up the clutter about how we organize thoughts about life.  Happiness does not guarantee that life will never face difficulty.  On the other hand, happiness changes how individual think about difficulty and what they will do when challenging moments come.  The road to happiness is joined to an inward journey of the development of the mind, spirit, and soul-life.  Indeed, spiritual life cannot be isolated in a detached metaphysical experience of escape from pain, from difficulty, or performance of duty.  The matter of importance is that happiness is rooted in a way of thinking toward life.  Therefore, the road to happiness is understanding, which leads to positive life-affirming ways of thinking reflectively about life.

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Being Who God Created You to Be: Life on Earth Is a Temporary Assignment

It is an interesting to watch how people in the 21st century occupy life with so much activity focused upon self-absorbed experiences that adds little lasting value to any future life.  Many people pursue a life without any defined existence coupled with a belief that life will go on forever as it is today.  In the culture of the church, this is most evident in the dramatic shift to blending contemporary idealism, music, and teaching.  At the same time, a predominant perspective emphasizes the importance of life in the present more so than past generations.  Some of the themes that characterized recent past generations are expressed in the songs people sang about heaven, eternal life, and overcoming trials in the present.  The obvious theme expressed resonates that that the experience and decisions made in daily life occurrences have a real connection to eternity.  The paradigm shift has resulted in a secularization of popular ideals moving life focus away from an eternal perspective to a collaboration of ideals about current existence. While the content of life today is important, there is the danger that God has been exiled to the corner of private religion and is not a consideration in the real nuts and bolts of everyday life or public dialogue.  In fact, there has been a fundamental shift in the emphasis away from thinking of life in eternal terms to a life of what matters now to the experience of me in the 21st century. As a result, this radical shift in attitude demonstrates a critical change in how personal meaning relates to daily life experience.

Furthermore, there is a deeply engrained preoccupation with significance built upon the immediate value of experience to self, instant gratification, and what personal benefit is gained. The system of this world-view is focused upon a temporal advantage to the immediate, rather than the long term benefit of future value. The result demonstrates a defective understanding of life obsessed with the present coupled to feelings of entitlement. The outcome that must be coped with is emptiness and an experience of building an occurrence of life filled with circular efforts to fill the void left by abdicating a life built upon eternal values. An important point of reference is the present day high focus upon pluralism in spiritual ideals and how values are re-spun from collaboration into a collective thought that express generic view of spirituality.  An example of pluralism in today’s culture can be seen through a view of life that is very much influenced by eastern philosophy. The predominant preponderance of ideas about life today has moved away from “sweet by and by” idealism to an emphasis upon the here and now.  The idea seems to support the notion of being effective with as little difficulty as possible. However, in the present atmosphere the importance of the cumulative experiences of life in being who God created you to be loses its meaning and purpose when life is reduced to the present momentary conditions of existence.

Consider the impact of valuing the present without consideration of the past and future.  The value that it expresses is that the measuring stick of life is the value of a present tense experience.  Unfortunately, an attitude about life that is disconnected from the past and detached from the future translates into a life that measures meaning through life in the moment.  Unfortunately, this particular view of life has transient, as well as, ever changing values, worth, and meaning that are never constant.  For instance, a factor in this way of thinking that may not be clearly understood limits every present moment to the temporary and in a moment be the past; then in another moment is the future.  Therefore, life only connected to the moment can only be measured by the value or wisdom the moment brings.  It is because life in the moment has no influence from the past and the present has no concern toward the future.  An example of a similar attitude is reflected upon in the writings of Buddhism, “The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly” (Buddha).  Other common expressions expressing similar ideas like, “Live, Love, and Laugh”.  The thought of this motto expresses a concern for the greatest good in present pursuit as a utopian maxim of the pleasure principle with no connection to the past with an absence of thought about an obtainable future.  It is just to relax in the moment and enjoy life to the fullest as if tomorrow has no significance.  The goal expressed is to produce the most pleasant existence that has vacated thoughts about the past complexities of life, what they mean in today’s experience, or what influence our life map has upon life in the future.  An application of this perspective summed up in a general way deposits a belief that purports life-philosophy, which states that a healthy balance in life is achieved by measuring existence in accordance with peace/harmony in the present moment. It is through a wise and sincere way of living that is disconnected with concerns about the past, as well as, an absence of worry about the future that makes life harmonious and peaceful.  However, the idea presented leaves a fundamental question about whom, how, or what determines what is wise without inclusion of a reflective process about life as a whole. The whole of life includes developmental experiences from the past and life experience today as a precursor to how life will be experienced in the future.

Considering the reality that every moment of life is a temporary assignment and life experiences are only here for a moment, it seems there is something larger that needs consideration.  For instance, examining life from a Christian point of view contextualizes life events in the terminology and perspective of a God.  The language and semantics of Christianity describes God as eternal, immutable, and not a momentary spiritual flash on the radar screen of time.  Consequently, when Jesus spoke of life that is potentially possible, He depicted life with words like eternal to describe life.

Listen to he words that Jesus spoke to those who listen to his message and believe in God.

“I tell you the truth, those who listen to my message and believe in God who sent me have eternal life.  They will never be condemned for their sins, but they have already passed from death into life”. (John 5:24, New Living Translation)

Without a doubt, Jesus spoke of life as eternal, not just a momentary experience, or a fleeting existence.  One of the questions contained in the thoughts of Jesus about life relates to who is shaping your view of existence.  Therefore, the question that is important to understanding why people live in the moment instead of with an eternal perspective is: who or what will determine our view of the human experience?  When we break the question down into a personal challenge, it is important to know whether we are measuring life in the moment, the experience, or the pleasure or pain of life experience.  On the other hand, we need to determine if we really understand the temporal nature of life and how everything in the present will, one day be, immersed into everlasting life prepared before the foundation of the earth.  It is a progression of life provided for in Christ’s redemption provided on the Cross, realized through spiritual transformation, and actualized in a life of faith through practical sanctification.  The importance of the question is that it reveals a deeper issue of concern for Christians.  The concern is directed toward the content of a Christian world-view and the message about the transient nature of the past, present and future life in the grander scheme of God who created us to live through eternity.

Your identity is settled in eternity, and your homeland is heaven.

The answer to who God created us to be does not lay within the temporary assignment of this life, but in the eternal purpose of God. The life that God gives in the creative act of spiritual transformation is an abundant life.  Transformation through Christ provides the opportunity for a life of quality, but also, a life quantified by the eternity that God has designed.  Spiritual life is a sovereign work of grace that provides the pathway to life everlasting in a relationship forged by the spiritual birth.  Because life is a temporary assignment, it is difficult to find a lasting attachment or permanent identity in what is fading away every day.  When we come to the place of transformation and realize that who we are is not defined by an earthly tabernacle, but that the earthly tabernacle is the dress rehearsal for an eternity that is settled by the mediation of God to prepare us for eternity.

Earthly existence is compared to a tent that will one day be folded up and put away.

“For instance, we know that when these bodies of ours are taken down like tents and folded away, they will be replaced by resurrection bodies in heaven—God-made, not handmade—and we’ll never have to relocate our ‘tents again” (2 Corinthians 5:1, The Message).

The temporary will be replaced with the eternal and the permanent.  In the words of Paul, there is coming a day when the identity that has been formed in a fleshly existence will evaporate in the presence of what is eternal and reveals the true identity.  A new existence that will not be described by the temporary, but expressed in a descript identity revealing the person that God has uniquely prepared in a post human replacement of what we now see.  What we see now is temporary and what we will realize in translation is eternal and imperishable.  The point that is well taken is that our understanding of who God created us to be will be realized as we step into the existence that we earnestly groan for in our desire to be changed as we submit ourselves to the process of surrender to the true self.  What we realize in the present is that all of this that we struggle with is temporary and one day it will fold up and be put away for something far better and a life that is everlasting.

Earth is not our final home; we were created for something much better.

“But there’s far more to life for us. We’re citizens of high heaven! We’re waiting the arrival of the Savior, the Master, Jesus Christ, who will transform our earthy bodies into glorious bodies like his own” (Philippians 3:20-21).

Much of life is consumed with the efforts to make a better life in the present, but as Paul writes,”there’s far more to life for us”.  Something that is important to remember in all of the important things that we spend our time on is that this is not all there is and something far better is available.  It is available to provide hope in the present and expectation for a future beyond anything we can imagine.  Earthly life is only a temporary assignment and our real homeland is in the eternal purpose of God because our citizenship is in Heaven. An affirmation comes by “Realizing that life on earth is just a temporary assignment should radically alter your values [:] Eternal values, not temporal ones, should become the deciding factors for your decisions” (Warren 2002, p 50). Summing up the experience of our lives compared with earlier centuries, life has never been easier than it is today for most of the people in Western Civilization.  Life is filled with constant entertainment, amusement, and activity that accommodate an immediate and felt need for gratifying pleasure.  Considering all of the captivating attractions, attention-grabbing media entertainment, and pleasurable experiences available today, it is easy to forget that the pursuit of happiness is not the primary purpose for existence.

 What is the primary purpose for man in existence?

A reminder from the Baptist Catechism explains man’s primary purpose in an end state for existence, “Man’s chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy him forever.” A question that arises from man’s chief end is what does it mean to glorify God?  The term, “Glorify” does not mean make glorious because God is already glorious. Rather, it means to reflect or display as glorious. Other words you could use for “end” are “goal” or “purpose”. Therefore the “end or purpose” is to live in such a way that displays God’s purpose of grace in how we express who He has created us to become.

Glorifying God also implies using the resources, which grace has dispensed into our temporary assignment in this life.  In reference to this stewardship of glory and purpose, Paul gives the example of the end state of behaviors in life that is enabled by an attitude that is directed through purposeful living.  He says, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31). The point of reference is that in whatever we do, it should reflect an end, goal, or purpose reflecting an outcome elevating His purpose in how He has created us individually.

The end state gives testimony to the sovereign plan of God to reveal Himself through our purposeful existence reflecting a life of worship and reverence.  Therefore, in a life of glorifying God there is satisfying pleasure of following the direction that enhances life’s purpose bringing spiritual satisfaction.  The object is to enjoy God and bring pleasure through knowing that life is aligned with the purpose of God for creation, which brings harmony to existence.

Listen to the Psalmist’s words,  “You make known to me the path of life, in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore” ( Psalm 16:11). The object is to understand that we are God’s people and the sheep of his pasture that are created by Him.  Even as Isaiah wrote, “everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made” (Isaiah43:7) reminds the reader of the sovereign God who actively created and called His sheep unto Him to live beyond the temporary assignment of today in a life of glorifying and enjoying the creator in a life of worship and reverence.

The pursuit of happiness in God is the purpose for which God made us and is what life is about. The man who pursues his happiness in God will find the attractions, media, and experiences of this life clanging bangles and contemptible bobbles whose attraction grows pale in comparison to the pleasure God offers to those who seek Him.

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Being Who God Created You to Be: You Were Made to Last Forever

Sooner or later everyone is faced with the absolute certainty that mortal life will end.  Indeed, life is a constantly evolving process that will culminate in an ultimate experience that ushers existence into a new reality called eternity.  A natural phenomenon of life-experience and awareness of conscious life is continually developing and ending simultaneously. This experience is a non-tangible present reality that is happening, as we experience it each waking moment of life.  One of the important certainties that we quite often lose touch with is that every experience of life is the staging ground for an eternity that is yet unrealized.  Something that needs to be considered is looking at life with the view that God has from now into eternity.

What a Spiritual Life of Purpose Looks Like From God’s Perspective.

“Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter.  He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good” (Romans 8:26-28, The Message).

A Spiritual Reality is That We Really Do Not Understand, But He is at Work.

 Many people tend to hold a view of life that has a deeply embedded belief that the experience of today is fixed, set, and the expectation that life will always look as it does today brings disappointment when it is disconnected from a spiritual life. At the same time, a faulty perspective of life built around present experience tends to cause acceptance of the comfort or pain of the moment as a normal expectation in life. The reality of a life of surrender to a sovereign God is within the struggle.  Therefore, in the process, He hears our groans and struggles and works to make sense of something that is so confusing to comprehend in our humanity.

Tragically, without spiritual transformation an existence is constructed where hope is absent for anything in life better than present experiences, i.e., what is presently seen.  This type of perspective limits life to a purpose built on present or upon negative experience instead of eternal purpose designed by God.  Therefore, the reality, pain, or joy of the moment constantly acquiesces to expectation set by an event, experience, or impression from a millisecond instead of purpose driven by a firm faith and hope of the Spirit of God who is working out an eternal purpose through us in our experiences.

God’s Perspective About Earthly, Fleshly, Soulish People Who are Governed By Passions of the Present Instead of Focus Upon the Eternal.

“they think only about this life here on earth.  But we are citizens of heaven, where the Lord Jesus Christ lives.  (Philippians 3:19b-20 NLT)

The indicative message is that a relationship with God that think about life with a different goal in mind that earthly minded people.  “God says His children are think differently about life from the way unbelievers do” (Rick Warren, 2002).

Unfortunately, mortal human beings tend to look at life like a picture of a moment recording only a solitary moment, not the larger picture.  It is a just a still frame expressing life captured in an immobile fixed moment of the present, which many people internalize and script expectations, hope, and dreams apart from an eternal purpose that is set in the mind of God to always work into something good for those who He has called.  Therefore, the present becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy that predicts our future and limit our potential to the beliefs held about present realities.  Consequently, the unrealized potential of a future that God has written upon our hearts and lives cannot come to fruition because we are trapped in the prison of the present and has no pathway to the future.

Gaining God’s Perspective Reduces The Anxiety of the Moment and Releases us to See the Process of Becoming God’s Unique Creation.

In the flurry of our daily crisis, an important reality that is not being processed into our temporal experience is that life is quickly passing us by at such a rapid rate of speed that we do not realize that eternity is just a step ahead.  It is true that we shall soon enter eternity, sooner than we realize, through God’s grace into a life prepared for God’s children..  Unfortunately, human beings have to learn the value of eternity and God’s purpose through the broken experiences in life before they get a glimpse of eternity.  It is when, something happens that turns life upside down, changes the way life is experienced,  and shatters our expectations that we are forced to re-evaluate life with a view that is finite.  A fortunate value of a crisis is that it is an opportunity exercise faith and to put our trust in God to discover that God is using this present experience to develop a character that is pure, a trust that is firm, and a perspective that values the moment. It is an awakening, a moment of revelation about life  and experience that tells us in a still small voice  that  God’s hand is developing His eternal purpose in us.  Consequently, there comes  an undeniable and inevitable movement to life that it is so subtle that we may not even realize, in the present moment that life has changed, God has spoken, and nothing will ever be the same since you began reading this article.

We often lose touch with the reality that life is a process of development with periods of time that possess life span experiences, which eventually catch up with no matter how much we dislike it.  As we progress and age, things like our vision grows dim, the body wrinkles, sickness comes and one day all of the things that we have known in the life through momentary experiences will be absorbed into eternity.  Through the experiences of life, we learn that life is just a temporary assignment that could change any moment; then suddenly we will be faced with life developments that are natural and normal in the human experience of life.  The unfortunate reality that many of us have difficulty realizing is that the way that the way we look at life today is not what life will always be and we hang on to the moment in hope that it will never end, but it will and it does.  Then what should we do?

Think About What The Psalmist Said:

 “Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be.
Remind me that my days are numbered—
how fleeting my life is” (Psalm 39:4; New Living Translation).

A life lesson that stands out from the psalmist is that life on earth is brief: therefore we d we need to be reminded that every day life is a wonder of existence. It is a divinely given opportunity to exercise effective stewardship and use the opportunity to live by eternal purpose, instead of extraneous circumstances.  While in the moment, the reality that life is slipping through our fingers like the sands of time is an well hidden that must be understood to gain an effective life of purposeful living and being the person that God created us to be.  What we invest our time in does matter now and will matter more once we enter into eternity.  The question the psalmist asks of God reminds us that mortality means that there are a limited number of days to live and to use in preparation for eternity.  Reading the words written, it seems that the psalmist is concerned that life should be invested in things that really matter, things of significance, and that will affect eternal existence in positive and meaningful ways.

Here Is Another Request From The Psalmist That Relates To Eternity:

“I am here on earth for just a little while; do not hide your commands from me” (Psalms 119:19 Good News Translation)

A principle that resonates from the words that relate to God’s eternal purpose is the reality that we must make the best of our lives, while you have life to live because we are here for such a short period of time.  What stands out here is that we should not get too attached to anything in this life because it will soon be gone.  An important point to grasp here is that we need to see life, particularly our life as God sees it, looking at life from God’s perspective.  “Our identity is in eternity and our homeland is heaven” (Rick Warren, 2002).

Remember that there is a solitary principle that stands out in being who God designed us to be: “Man’s chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy him forever” (The Baptist Catechism).  The profound spiritual truth is that we must organize our lives by

keeping first things first.  Because life, as we know it, is  is not all that there is; it drives home the point that life will not end at the termination of physical life.  What the message of God says to us is that we  are made to last forever. Therefore, how we invest our life here and now is life is preparation for the next.  Consequently, when you live our lives in the shadow of this life and the light of eternity, your values change about how to be who God created you to be.

 God Gives us the Affirmation to Embrace our Purpose with a View of the Future in Sight by Faith.

 “ So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal”  (2 Corinthians 4:18 NIV).

We can capitulate to life or live life in hope of what God has prepared and realize that eternity offers only two choices: heaven or hell.  The message is that we are living in the light of eternity, which is a powerful concept taught throughout the Bible. That teaches aa poignant lesson, we should live each day so that if it were the last day of our lives, we would be ready for eternity. An important facet of being who God created us to be is that there are eternal consequences to everything to do on earth.

 Listen to the Words of Solomon: Cherish Life and Use it in the Light of Etenity...

You who are young, make the most of your youth.
Relish your youthful vigor.
Follow the impulses of your heart.
If something looks good to you, pursue it.
But know also that not just anything goes;
You have to answer to God for every last bit of it.

 (Ecclesiates. 11:9, The Message).

An important application to be made is that we will be rewarded for our faithfulness on earth and reassigned to do work that we will enjoy doing.  We won’t lie around on clouds with halos playing harps!  God has a purpose for your life on earth, but it doesn’t end here.Yes, I must serve God in my generation, but my service here is preparation for greater service to come because I was made for eternity.

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Who were you created to be? You Are Not an Accident

Think about this for a moment: “there is a God who created you for a reason, and your life has profound meaning” (Rick Warren, 2002).

A beginning statement to ponder is that we can only really be the person God created us to be when God is the focal point of our existence and we surrender to His purpose for existence.  The Bible says it this way,  “The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him” (Romans 12:3, The Message). The truth is that we can never be who God created us to be until we are willing to surrender the life that we have created, are maintaining, and enduring to the potential life, which is possible by recognizing that God is the center of existence.  It is all about God.

Have you ever wondered why you are who you are and why you are different from others around you?  Read this poem and listen to the words as you say them aloud.

You are who you are for a reason by *Russell Kelfer

You are who you are for a reason.
You’re part of an intricate plan.
You’re a precious and perfect unique design,
Called God’s special woman or man.

You look like you look for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together within the womb.
You’re just what He wanted to make.

The parents you had were the ones He chose,
And no matter how you may feel,
They were custom-designed with God’s plan in mind,
And they bear the Master’s seal.

No, that trauma you faced was not easy.
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into His likeness you’d grow.

You are who you are for a reason,
You’ve been formed by the Master’s rod.
You are who you are, beloved,
Because there is a God! (http://www.donnarosestewart.com/other/kelfer.html)

There are two important things to think about within these ideas.  One is the issue of reason.  God has a purpose for your life, but your purpose can only be found through surrendering to Him, not surrender to circumstances, sociology, or opinion –yours or others.  Closely related is how some people see themselves or acquiesce to the status quo.  As a result, many people see themselves as a failure   or as a mistake.  Therefore, the second issue that we need to understand about who God created us to be is that your conception, birth, life development, and challenges are not the result of a mistake of nature.  Believe me, no matter what you see in the mirror or feel in your private thoughts; you are not an accident of biology, environment, or experiences.  In the last post, “Why do you Exist”, the core question about why we exist presents a theme that life can be built around s the central purpose for existence.

Man’s First Purpose in Creation

 From my personal spiritual background, I am reminded, “Man’s chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy him forever.  [Scriptures that supports this position  are found in]: 1 Corinthians 10:31; Psalm 16:11; 37:4; 73:25-26; and  Isaiah43:7.  [The application of] To ‘Glorify’ does not mean make glorious.  It means [to] reflect or display as glorious.  Other words you could use for ‘end’ are ‘goal’ or ‘purpose’” (A Baptist Catechism).

How Did God Create Man?

The next question that relates to who God created us to be is answer in how God created people. “God created man male and female, after his own image, in knowledge, righteousness, and holiness, with dominion over the creatures.  [Scriptures to support this position are in] Genesis 1:27-28; Colossians 3:10; and  Ephesians 4:24. [To understand this better,] In saying that we were created after his image ‘in knowledge, righteousness and holiness,’ we do not mean we know all God knows, nor that we are a fountain of righteousness and holiness the way he is.  We mean that we were capable of sharing his knowledge and righteousness and holiness in a relationship of trust and love unlike any other creature under the angels” (A Baptist Catechism).

Therefore, what we understand from scripture is that God had a plan, a purpose, and a design, which was not an accident of nature, events, or mistakes.  The importance of who God created us to be was initiated long before we were conceived by our parents –you were conceived in the mind of God.

Affirmation of Faith

What the scripture teaches us about being who God created us to be is that while there are illegitimate parents, there are no illegitimate children.  This is an important and  helpful distinction for those of us who feel like we are the product of a mistake made by someone else! Therefore, the use of scriptures like Deuteronomy 23:2 to support illegitimacy in birth, “A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the LORD”, clearly is not a reference to physical birth, parents, and marriage.  Obviously, Deuteronomy 23:2  is a reference to someone who does not have a covenant relationship to God, which is a indication of an illegitimate connection to the church, religion, and spiritual life, as stated in Hebrews 13.  As a point of reference to remind us who created believers to be in a familial relationship with Him, “They are reborn–not with a physical birth resulting from human passion or plan, but a birth that comes from God” (John 1:13, NLT).

Clearly this is an indication that we are not a mistake, freak of nature, or an aberration of evolution: we are God’s special creation.  Therefore, we can be reminded that the person that God has created us to be, specifically disavows atheistic evolution.  If you are wondering about who God created you to be, remember the first purpose for existence; “Man’s chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy him forever”.  Therefore, be assured that it is abundantly clear that God is the reason alone for purposeful, divine creation.

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Relationships: Some Practical Advice About How A Right Response Can Keep Things Balanced.

 

Do you find it Hard to Keep Loving Those Who Act in Unlovable Ways?

From the person who cuts you off at the checkout lane to the former friend who spreads slanderous words about you, you are often hurt by the thoughtless or deliberate words of others.

How do you typically react?

Honestly?  It is no fun to be hurt.  The old sandbox saying of “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” simply is not true.  Physical injuries heal over time for the most part, but the bruises from emotional conflicts do not disappear over time without specific, spiritual remedies.

From a worldly perspective, it is considered normal to react in kind-the “don’t get mad, get even” philosophy.  That is part of the reason that Jesus tells us that our behavior must be radically different in order to get the attention of a hurting world around us..

Jesus says:

1. “But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. . . . And just as you want people to treat you, treat them in the same way.  Moreover, if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you?  For even sinners love those who love them.”
2. “But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men.  Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.”
3. “Give, and it will be given to you; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, they will pour into your lap. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return” (Luke 6:27‑38).

The content of this passage is astoundingly rich; the Golden Rule alone is the subject of profound study.  However, one thing is abundantly clear: the believer is called to a response of unconditional love to others.

Loving Both The Unlovely And The Unloving Is Not Easy.

Jesus did not say that this response would come naturally. If it did, He would not spend so much time explaining these principles and the importance of following His example in your dealings with those around you.  Here are some basic steps to help move you toward a Christ‑centered response.

1.      Forgive the offender.

Hurt turns into bitterness and an unforgiving spirit when it isn’t dealt with properly.  Think of it this way ‑ through the grace of Jesus Christ, you have the spiritual resource to truly forgive others.  (Matthew 18:21‑35; Psalm 32:1; Ephesians 4:32)  When you release someone from the debt he or she owes you, you are free to see that person as Christ does, and anger and bitterness no longer have the power to rule your decisions.

2.      Seek first to understand before you seek to be understood.

Practice the skill of being a good listener and try to imagine the perspective of the offender.

What might his motivations have been?  What is going on in his life right now?  Many times, a person who hurts you is the victim of hurt himself.  He feels that the only way to release that anger and “get back at the world” is to do the same thing to someone else.

The process of loving someone enough to ask questions and hear the other side does not mean excusing the behavior.  You must still recognize the person’s action as wrong and hurtful and then forgive, but understanding the offender’s private pains could be a key step towards reconciliation or preventing further conflicts in the future.

3.       In keeping with a spirit of Christ‑like love, speak with non-combative yet truthful words.

A perfect verse to keep in mind at such times  is Ephesians 4:29: “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

Speaking in love does not mean that your words will not be sharp and pointed; sometimes truth is very unsettling, and the individual who has come against you may need to grapple with some tough issues.

If you think the conversation may be difficult, or if you are unsure of the right approach, consult with some wise and godly friends or a Christian counselor first.  It is always helpful to keep the overall goal in mind. In confrontations with nonbelievers, your role is to point them to Christ.  With believers, your function is basically the same, except that God may be using you to help bring your brother or sister to maturity.

As you practice loving the unlovely and refusing to enter the retaliation game, you will develop a lifestyle of love, keeping in mind Christ’s limitless mercy.  1 Timothy 1:15‑16 says: “It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all. “And yet for this reason I found mercy, in order that in me as the foremost, Jesus Christ might demonstrate His perfect patience, as an example for those who would believe in Him for eternal life.”

In any conflict, you need to realize that the outcome is not in your hands.  No matter how hard you may try, you ultimately cannot force someone to listen or change.

Only the Lord can work with that person’s heart, as you continue to extend patience and love.  Who knows, maybe someday your “worst enemy” could become your best friend in Christ.  Whatever the result, you can be sure of God’s blessing as you seek His way of dealing with those who hurt you.

RLM/12/08/2012

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An Effective Quiet Time With God

By Ronnie Lee Murrill in Fellowship Baptist Church, SBC

MAKE TIME FOR GOD

If you are too busy to be alone with the Lord, you are too busy.  Food gives your body the sustenance it needs and  the soul food that you devour during your quiet time gives you supernatural strength.  Therefore, make the time to tap into God‘s power by making time for God

The elements of an effective quiet time with God:

1. Silence.  Choose a time of day when you can be alone with no distractions.  Set aside a definite hour for your quiet time, and make a commitment to stick to your daily schedule of prayer and meditation.  Your quiet time may come late at night, or you may have to set your alarm clock and get up an hour earlier each day.  Do whatever works best for you, so that you can give God your best – Silence will soon become a pleasant habit you look forward to each day.

2. Situate.  Choose a place in your home to be your prayer place.  It could be a walk-in closet, your kitchen table, or the living room.  Go to the same place every day and put yourself in a place where you can be alone with God.

3. Study.  The purpose of quiet time is to get to know God and His plan for your life.  As a result, you cannot get to know Him unless you are regularly receiving from His Word.  Find the Bible translation that is right for you, and do not be caught up in the “right way” to read (Genesis to Revelation, or random passages).

4. Honor.  Give God the glory He deserves.  In your quiet time, you are before the throne of the great I Am. Praise Him and glorify His name as the Spirit leads in prayer, song, or recitation of Bible verses, as you give honor to God.

5. Humble.  Humbly seek God’s face.  Bring all of your cares to Him for His answers and direction.  Speak to God as you would to a loving father. Then, lay out your concerns.  You do not need to clean yourself up to go to Jesus.  He accepts you just as you are.

6. Heed.  After you have poured out your concerns to God, be quiet and listen to that small inner voice.  Since God is not the author of confusion, He will give you positive direction.  Look for them as He speaks.

7. Exclaim.  A Quiet time is a time of encouragement and rejuvenation.  As you experience a greater closeness to God, and an answer to your prayers, share what you have learned about from God by sharing God’s Word with others.

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Finding Hope in a Time of Uncertainty

It’s the beginning of a new year, and I am reminded that it is an opportunity to start again. This article is the early morning musing that comes from a daily habit of reflection about one day in life and what it means.  There are a lot of good questions ask about life that are important, but pondering the time of year and the opportunity for starting over.  A thought that comes to mind this morning is that opportunity is in our hands to make a positive contribution toward making this year count.  As a result, the question that I am pondering this morning asks a question connected to effectiveness at living in 2012: what are you going to do with opportunity in the coming year?  It is a good question and a personal question which focuses upon each one of us and all of us collectively.  In a times  such as this, “the new year” there is a poignant reminder that nothing ever stays the same –time keeps moving in a forward direction — and that if we do not change with time, we will be left in the dust of yesterdays dreams.

Yesterdays dreams may be filled with regrets, unfinished business, unpaid bills, or unfulfilled wishes.  This is readily witnessed in the current climate of the 21st century where much attention is directed toward the changing dynamics of American culture, politics, as well as personal issues, which have forced unwanted change upon life. With that in mind, I am reminded that attention directed to the future will be effective for those who are willing to embrace its potential and embrace hope in the unseen power that is possessed to build a path into a desirable future.  The direction that effectiveness will take is directly related to what you are willing to do about self.  Harry S. Truman said, “In reading the lives of great men, I found that the first victory they won was over themselves? self-discipline with all of them came first.”   Fulfilled dreams are not magical events or mystical feelings which are not grounded in reality, they are actions possessed by a forward attitude of determination committed to making a difference in each life,as well as, the larger world of people to make a meaningful difference.

For many,  instead of being a time of discipline focused toward a goal, the new year will be a time when morbid regret is focused upon diminished hope that results in trying to prop up the past, restore the past, or revive some idealized perspective that results from a life of constantly looking in the rear view mirror of life. One thing for sure is that life does not progress; while focus remains centered upon the unresolved, undone, or not finished business in the past. Indeed, the future belongs to those who are brave enough, willing enough, and strong enough to step with faith into a future that God alone knows and holds in His hand.

In the coming months, if the focus of life remains focused upon the lost hopes and dreams of an idealized American culture, economy, or social structure, then we may miss the opportunity to see a blossoming future where God does what only He can do through us in a world held hostage to hopelessness, isolation, and loneliness. It is a time that has been characterized by hopelessness where many remain discouraged. Solomon spoke about this attitude several thousand years ago and said, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. The value of these words resonate to the hopeful because while hope remains alive, we believe that a future is possible, that success is attainable, and goals are reachable. Indeed, it makes a difference what you believe about the future because– what you believe is what is most likely to happen right on time.

One of the things that is a pressing need today is to develop a discipline of hope among leaders that is grounded in a realistic look at what is ahead, a plan of action to arrive at a destination, and a way to keep accountable to the direction hope leads. Within this discipline, a challenge to possessing hope is in acceptance that hope is not just a feeling about life, about God, or something that is conjured up with positive affirming feelings. Rather, it is connected to a way of thinking that is rooted in faith in God, a firm belief in who God is, that He alone stands above– beyond– around– and ahead of every circumstance of life that we can encounter, and that He has a purpose to be fulfilled that brings meaning to existence.

Benjamin Disraeli said, “The secret of success is constancy of purpose.” Today, there is one thing that can motivate an attitude of belief that success is ahead is belief that there is design to what will occur.  That there is someone who is already there and knows the outcome every situation that will be faced in the days ahead.  Any hope that we can have today is not validated in a politician, a political process,  the economy, or other circumstances. Listen to the words of the psalmist David who said said, “What wait I for, my hope is in thee”. What are you waiting for and where is your hope today?

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Finding Balance in Unbalanced Relationships: A Discussion about Conflicting Emotions.

Think about relationships that you have with significant people in your life, what is the first word that comes to mind when you think of the people involved?  Is the word a reaction to how you feel about relationship or a descriptor of how interaction occurs between people?  Something to consider is whether others, in your world of relationships, would see your relationships in the same way that your mental image picture them.  If we are honest at this point, the reality is that everyone has problems at certain times in relationships and all families experience a certain level of malfunction at times.  One of the reasons is that we are feeling/emotive people and, at times,  our feelings distort perception of things occurring which results responses to perception that are charged with emotion and misinformation.  The result is reaction, unreasonable behaviors, conflict, and relationships that are fracture by misinformation, feelings out of control, and inappropriate responses.

It is difficult to use sound reasoning when events are charged with distorted emotional thoughts. 

Consider this question: Is it reasonable to believe someone who tells you that they love you, while at the same time that person in hateful, vindictive, and spiteful ways at the same time.  Obviously, behavior that is inconsistent with what a person tells to you is a strong indicator that something is out of sync in the relationship.  Unbalanced relationships are plagued with behavioral cues that tells the informed observer that this behavior indicates that relationships are unbalanced and lack appropriate boundaries.  This is especially true when there is love espoused, while at the same time the person is demonstrating toxic, damaging, or abusive behaviors toward the person who is the object of their love-hate relationship.  Many instances of this can be seen among  couples who engage in extra-marital affairs, i.e., this is a commonly demonstrated behavior.  The conundrum is that there is a professed love professed for the spouse, while a toxic behavior occurs toward the spouse, as well as, the overall relationship.  I think that everyone would agree that this constitutes an unhealthy and unbalanced relationship.  The idea that a person can love one person and at the same time  engage in a clandestine relationship suggests that there is a conflict of how emotions are understood and what love really means within a relationship.  Consequently, the person who confesses love and fails to demonstrate values consistent with love is action on a faulty presumption of how love is characterized between two people in a relationship.   Another way of understanding the unbalanced conflict of rational thinking about love is in filial relationships.  A question comes to the surface here: Can I love someone while secretly harboring resentment toward them, holding on to unforgiveness while at the same time, acting out passive- aggressive anger toward a friend or relative?  Quite often, people communicate that they are angry without ever saying it. What it reveals is an unhealthy pattern of relating to other when emotional conflicts occur.  It is abundantly clear is that relationships do get unbalanced, but if individuals want to have reasonable ways in life to manage the conflicting emotions felt and and potential for unhealthy patterns of relating; it means having healthy boundaries and effective ways to manage the unmanageable problem of unbalanced emotional responses must become a priority.

Crisis should bring people together and not keep them apart.

During changes in life stages and the unexpected stressors that are a part of life change many feelings come to the surface and individuals are often exposed to the possibility of facing conflicting emotions.  While struggling with what to do and managing unbalanced relationship issues that result from very normal life issues, people are face with real life choices that are at times very difficult.  For example, many who have lost a loved one deal with emptiness, grief over the loss, as well as feelings of isolation, which bring to the surface unrealized emotional expectations for themselves and others  For others, the season of change brings issues to the surface, which has been placed, on hold in the file of unresolved issues and unanswered questions.  Others are facing reassignment from military duty, the effects of the economy, loss of jobs– homes, which bring to the surface the emotional pain that people are experiencing because of the conditions of life  being experienced.

An emotional crisis is an opportunity to add positive value and resolution to relationships.

I remember a story that my dad used to tell about two brothers who had become angry at one another early on in life and had avoided each other, through most of life—both being unwilling to take a step toward reconciliation.  As the story goes, one of the brothers became deathly ill, was placed in the hospital—the other brother went to see him and because of the grave nature of the illness and the possibility of the brother dying, they agreed to bury the hatchet.  After talking and renewing the relationship, it was time to leave.  The brother who was sick, the patient in the hospital, said to departing brother; “by the way, if I live the feud is still on.” Unfortunately, many people cannot break away from the self-defeating behavior that creates a no win situation and feeds off of the feud, the conflict, and an inability to ever reconcile life in a healthy way.

Balancing relationships is about making the right choices for you.

The lived experience for many people is one fueled by conflicts that are unresolved and in fact, may never be solved.  Divorce, broken families, a family member in prison, poverty, child abuse, homelessness, and sickness are all deeply felt issues –the source of painful experiences that are a source for emotional conflict during the seasons of life.  At a time in life when conflicting emotions are magnified by natural events, it is  a perfect time for imbalance to erupt or a time to balance something that feels out of balance by making a choice to act on the felt experience of hopelessness. If we can wrap our head around the fact that even though life is very difficult that there is still hope to balance unbalanced relationships and embrace life with a hope that elevates life and those around us.  I do not know what you are experiencing in life, but if we can focus our thoughts Christ, who is our hope ; then  the peace that He can bring to life can bring balance to seems so out of balance in our experience of life.  Unfortunately, many people’s attention will focus around unbalanced relationships, what has been lost, or what is wrong with others and life.  Fortunately, hope for balance in the midst of conflict is possible through trusting in Savior who is larger than life and greater than problems.  When Christ comes to our life, it is not to abandon us in the moment of conflict or to magnify our failures; it is a happens to magnify the power of Christ to  bring freedom from a life without a balanced hope in the experiences of life. A relationship with Christ is a reminder that He gives us the opportunity, motive, and place to a be peacemaker.

Indeed, people can have the language right, the ritual right, but the reality is that our audio needs to match our video.  However, the crisis that we experience is what reveals who we are going to trust when life gets out of kilter.  An important thing to consider is whether our relationship with Christ is having an impact on the way we handle unbalanced relationships and experiences.   Is what we are saying –experiencing on the inside having a significant impact upon the lived experience of life?  It is good sometimes to just be confessional and stop denying what we feel because pushing down emotions, conflicts, and unresolved pain only pushes issues to the surface when stress is placed upon life.  The act of denying the reality of an internal condition guarantees an undesirable future prospect of artificial existence that will be characterized by the appearance of functionality.  Unfortunately, life will be expressed and may look good on the outside, but the inner dialogue of pain, frustration, and unbalanced emotions will influence life and relationships.

Exercising your options to make good choices starts with individual choice.

What is a person to do about the conflicting emotions and unbalanced relationships in life?  First, understand that there is only one person that you can change—the person that you see in the mirror each day.  Next, realize that it is not your responsibility to fix other people, change them, and you are not responsible for what others do or life they create.  Also, recognize that much of what people feel about disappointments in life stems from faulty expectations and misplaced trust.  Then, allowing people the grace to be who they are and work it out individually, releases others into God’s care to be who they are while still loving them– even though you may not agree.  Accepting others disappointing acts is not ratifying what has been done in a passive form of acceptance, it is allowing others to be free to choose what they do– placing responsibility for behaviors on the person making the choice.  Finally,say it, “I am not responsible, and it is not my fault”.

Is it possible to love someone and hate what they do, be in love with one person and maintain loyalty and admiration for others?  The answer depends upon you and how life is balanced within boundaries to manage the unmanageable things in life.  Remember, we are not responsible for what others choose to do and it is not our fault.  One of the sources of balance comes in how a person thinks about life.  For linear, black and white, everything fits in the box—literal, concrete thinkers, this will not compute because it requires thinking about life outside  of the box:  “most of the time your brain is involved in just one of three activities: distraction, reaction, or following well-worn pattern” (Tim Hurson). In the Bible it says, “As a man thinketh in his heart so is he”.  Are you following a well-worn pattern in life or are you interested in balancing how you feel about your relationships in life:  Change your thoughts and change your life.

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Spirituality: Jesus the Church, Evangelism, Discipleship, and Multiculturalism

Which Books are You Reading?

Albert Mohler (2010) said, “As the period of emerging adulthood grows longer, young people are becoming more alienated spiritually.”  Mohler’s statement raises questions about what is occurring in 21^st century within beliefs about spirituality. It is apparent that there is a significant departure from the views held by evangelical Christians who have had a predominate voice in shaping opinions in earlier generations. A good question to ask is who or what is influencing the views of this emergent generation and will evangelical Christian maintain their ability to influence this generation?

For social theorists this might be a developmental stage of an evolving culture.  If they are correct what can be understood about the process and what is important to understand? Within the discipline of psychology, there is a principle taught in life–stage theory that every period of life has an identity crisis and skill development must occur that enables a successful transition to  face the responsibilities of the next period of existence.   The theory purports that there is a natural development process that contributes to being able to engage with life and have efficacious responses in the challenges that are a part of the experience of life.  This an interesting analogy to make about how culture is developing, but what is the result of the process?

The results are portrayed in a fundamental gap between generations and that the distinctive beliefs of the past have not been articulated in a way that demonstrates a connection between what has been believed about matters of faith, morality, and God and what is believed now.  One of the questions may be have we advanced as a culture in the view about spirituality? Consider the views of the past generation about spirituality.  Is the earlier better informed than the present?  If so, has the view of the past informed, equipped, the present generation with the essential skills to enter a new time, face different responsibilities-challenges?

Could it be that Spirituality in America is in need of family systems therapy?

Apparently there are perceptions about spirituality today suggests a noticeable departure from traditionally held views of spirituality to a changing perspective. Ed Stetzer (2011) says, “This generation is open to God and spirituality. When asked if they considered themselves to be spiritual, 73 percent of respondents age 20-29 answered affirmatively” (Stetzer).  In response, a question that may not be addressed adequately in literature today is what impact does how the last period–generation approached spirituality have upon the present understanding of spirituality?  What is apparent is that there is a clear disconnect from traditionally held views.  Has a rebellious child of the 60’s 70’s or 80’s been raised and is misbehaving and we don’t like what is happening?

The statistics cited by Stetzer (2001) indicates that the respondents are indeed open to God and have a belief that they are spiritual, which essentially is not different than previous generations, but in retrospect, what does it really mean?

One assumption is that because there is openness and the basic belief about personal spirituality that there is motivation to understand life in spiritual terms and indeed someone—something is defining what spirituality means.  Sometimes I hear people referring to culture as an evil force – a collective consciousness that is leading people away from or at odds with another point of view. However, culture is better understood as “The totality of socially transmitted behavior patterns, arts, beliefs, institutions, and all other products of human work and thought” (Free Dictionary) which describes culture as a defining force in a point of view. Therefore, there are culturally implicit beliefs, behaviors, and values characterizing the way differing generations, groups, races, and religions internalize information and externalize behaviors. As Stetzer (2011) describes this generation, it is not a generalization about all modern culture, but an indication of a group perspective.

A caution about generalizing statistics that needs to be understood is that popular surveys are not scientifically validated and some research that is offered–used to infer conclusions–may not be accurately applied.  An example of this is how people often say that “we live in a Christian nation” which reflects the point of view that historically may be valid, but unfortunately is not a fair nor accurate collective representation of America. Therefore, a larger question that needs to be understood which moves beyond what popular beliefs are is where do the respondents, 20-29 year olds,  get their point of view and what influences within this cultural group impact the perceptions reported, and what conclusions can be inferred about what spiritual communication will engage this emergent generation?

A fundamental question posited here is can this generation be engaged in a discussion about spirituality and motivated to respond without others understanding what prompts what millennial’s value and believe?

Understanding what the behavior means and what is shaping the values of 20-29 year olds is not interesting or appealing to many people. However, a challenge for traditional– modern Americans is to accept that multi-culturalism is shaping the view of people.  If  there is going to be meaningful engagement of the emerging peoples, groups, and cultures, it means that understanding what is driving the point of view, what are the assumptions, and how competence can be developed that enables an understanding outside of self which is motivated by an interest in connecting generations that are disconnected and can benefit from what the other brings to the process.

It is an easy thing to generalize and for adults to look at small children and expect them to understand and behave as an adult.  It is also easy for children to look at their parents and think they are really not very informed and disregard what may be simply not understood.  Unfortunately, in the milieu of cafeteria-style spirituality, the absence of a distinctive clarifying voice  that is having a significant impact upon culture, there is a danger present of morally and spiritually bankrupting the core values in modern culture.

Keywords: Spirituality, Culture, Sociology, Multi-culturalism, Generations, Millennial, Perspective, Perception, Beliefs, Consciousness, Behaviors, Generalizing, Statistics, Research, Communication, an Cultural- Identity.

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