Instead of of focusing all of the energy that we do on what is wrong with the world, Easter’s celebration of the resurrection is a reminder of how God can make things right even when everything seems wrong. So, why not focus on hope and not on despair?  Why not place our energy on what can be done instead of what cannot be done?  Why not narrow our focus to the single purpose of God in Christ at Easter?

Think about this: Easter is about a fundamental change that made possible through the death and resurrection of Christ. Easter recalls the process change through death and life that God uses to process to change in us. Therefore, when we commit our lives to Christ, that’s the initial turning point toward change.  When someone becomes a Christian, there is a spiritual change that is created by faith in Christ and the believer becomes a new person inside.  Indeed, they are not the same anymore because a new life has begun.”  What happens?  It is like starting over with a new ability to live.  That is why the Bible calls it being born again.  Born again does not mean reincarnation, it just means you get a new start in the old shell that you lived in everyday.  It is starting over and having a new life!  It is not turning over a new leaf, like Adam and Eve, you get a new life.  Easter reminds Christians that there is a new lifetime, lifelong process.

Think about Romans 12:2 “Don’t let the world squeeze you into it’s mold but let God remake you so that your whole attitude of mind is changed.”  You know that it is easy to get into a rut, live on the treadmill of life, and follow the routine rat race of existence.  Many people live by the mythology that says, “I cannot change, I’ve tried to change, or I used will power, but I just cannot change and I will never be able to change”.  If you believe that, you are exactly right.  You cannot change in your own.  Easter reminds Christians that change is possible with God’s power working through your life.  In the Easter season, the message of the cross and the tomb is crystallized in the moment of resurrection.  The reminder still rings today, “I want to take your greatest weakness and turn it into your strength”.

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Aesop’s Fables records a story called the, “The Farmer and the Snake” that illustrates why boundaries are important to understand how to live life without rescuing people who may no be capable of rescue.

ONE WINTER a Farmer found a Snake stiff and frozen with cold. He had compassion on it, and taking it up, placed it in his bosom. The Snake was quickly revived by the warmth, and resuming its natural instincts, bit its benefactor, inflicting on him a mortal wound. “Oh,” cried the Farmer with his last breath, “I am rightly served for pitying a scoundrel.”

The greatest kindness will not bind the ungrateful [ self focused individuals].

A lesson to be learned here is that creating boundaries in life to regulate relationships and behaviors is a way to manage how much danger, pain, and dysfunction that you are going to experience in life.  We have boundaries at work, in business, on the highway, and even in the park, but somehow people believe that in relationships  everyone will always make the right decisions without clarifying the terms of relationship.

How Do We Get Into No-Win Situations Becoming an Enabler?

It may be hard to face, but enabling says something about the enabler that needs to be understood. People who are enablers think they are helping someone else when in reality they are creating a disability support system. It is magical thinking — a way of romanticizing life with the idealism that that denies the reality reality of  destructive patterns of behavior, irresponsibility, guilt, pain etc. The enabling parent, husband, wife-believes that somehow through these vicarious acts of rescuing and enabling that it will magically make it better.  It is like when a mother picks up her child and kisses the owee’ and magically all the pain disappears. It is a thinking problem that gets us into no-win situations.  In the core thought processes of the enabler there is a fundamental belief that this kind of thing happens to other people, but not to us– I am not like that–  believe the best about people, my family could not do anything like that. This attitude –thinking pattern– creates naivete’ about relationships that exposes your backside to the sharp teeth of the dog named fate –and when it happens, it is painful.

What Do Dogs Do in an Ideal World?

Like snakes ,when dogs are not kept on a leash and when there is not a understanding of how relationships will occur with individuals to regulate what can occur, it is an opportunity for disaster to happen naturally.  — and they do.  The problem with enablers is that they don’t believe ,snakes bite that dogs bark or pee on the corner of the sofa.  After all, they say, “my dog went to obedience school and knows better, he is a dog of high breeding.”  In an ideal world where people are perfectly balanced and have no dysfunction, family system problems, unresolved conflicts, or emotional baggage, people do not need to be on a leash, but we all know that snakes and dogs will always be true to their nature, no matter how pretty they are –too bad that life does not occur in a ideal world.

Translated by George Fyler Townsend. Aesop’s Fables (p. 19). Amazon Digital Services, Inc.

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Raging Bully

I remember while growing up in the 60′s that I was a constant target of bullying. I was small and just wanted to be a kid like everyone else, but there were always those people who had to try to control and victimize. It was not something that I wanted, but the day I became frustrated enough about being bullied and decided that I was not going to be pushed anymore, that was the day that I began to quit being a victim. Unfortunately, that was not the last bully that I faced, I have discovered that they are there everywhere that you go. The tragedy is that people in the workplace, in families, churches, and social relationships are being bullied everyday: they have accepted that as a way of life that they feel no escape from. The best thing that you can arm yourself with is not a gun or knife, not even a body-guard, but with understanding about the behaviors of bullies and how people are trapped into victimization.

They Are Abusers

The violence (not only physical) committed by a serial bully is almost entirely psychological, for psychological violence leaves no scars and no physical evidence. Most commonly, the violence takes the form of verbal abuse and emotional abuse including trivial nit-picking criticism, constant fault-finding combined with simultaneous refusal to recognize, value, acknowledge and praise. Manipulation, isolation and exclusion are other favorite tactics, as is feigning victim-hood or persecution, especially when held accountable.

They Are Controllers

The objectives of serial bullies are Power, Control, Domination and Subjugation.  These are achieved by a number of means including emotional dis-empowerment, stimulating excessive levels of fear, shame, embarrassment and guilt, manipulation (especially of emotions and perception), ritual humiliation, and constant denial. When you live with someone who is constantly denying what they said or did a day ago, or an hour ago, or even a minute ago, it drives you crazy. When the symptoms of injury to health start to become apparent, the bully will tell others you have a “mental health problem” and try to make you feel guilt about your response. However, you may be mad, but this is not mad-insane, this is mad angry.

Control is a common indicator of the serial bully.  Control of finances, control of movements, control over choice of friends, control of the right to work, control over what to think, and so on is the central motivation of bullies. Consequently,  all efforts to control are designed to dis-empower the victim and empower the bully.

They Are Dividers

A favorite tactic of the bully in the family is to set people against each other. The benefits to the bully are that:

• The bully gains a great deal of gratification (a perverse form of satisfaction) from encouraging and provoking argument, quarreling and hostility, and then from watching others engage in adversarial interaction and destructive conflict.
• The ensuing conflict ensures that people’s attention is distracted and diverted away from the cause of the conflict.

Bullies within the family, especially female bullies, are masters (mistresses) of manipulation and are fond of manipulating people through their emotions (e.g. guilt) and through their beliefs, attitudes and perceptions. Bullies see any form of vulnerability as an opportunity for manipulation, and are especially prone to exploiting those who are most emotionally needy. Elderly relatives, those with infirmity, illness, those with the greatest vulnerability, or those who are emotionally needy or behaviorally immature family members are likely to be favorite targets for exploitation.

The family bully encourages and manipulates family members and others to lie, act dishonorably and dishonestly, withhold information, spread misinformation, and to punish the target for alleged infractions, i.e., the family members become the bully’s unwitting (and sometimes witting) instruments of harassment.

They Are Manipulators

Bullies are adept at distorting peoples’ perceptions with intent to engender a negative view of their target in the minds of family members, neighbors, friends and people in positions of leadership and authority; this is achieved through undermining, the creation of doubts and suspicions, and the sharing of false concerns, etc. This intentional poisoning of people’s minds is difficult to counter; however, explaining the game in a calm articulate manner helps people to see through the mask of deceit and to understand how and why they are being used as pawns.

They Are Deceivers Who Want To Be Your Confidant

The bully may try to establish an exclusive relationship (based on apparent trust and confidence) with one family member, such that, they (the bully) are seen as the sole reliable source of information. This may be achieved by portraying the target (and certain other family members) as irresponsible, unstable, undependable, uncaring, unreliable, and untrustworthy.  Perhaps by the constant highlighting, using distortion and fabrication, reminders of alleged failures, breaches of trust, and lack of reliability, etc. This process is reinforced by inclusion of the occasional piece of juicy gossip about the target’s alleged misdemeanors or untrustworthiness in respect of relationships and communication with people. Mostly, this is psychological projection of the bullies failures and inadequecies.

The objective is to manipulate the family member’s perceptions and create a dependency, so that the family member comes to rely exclusively on the bully and see, the bully, as the sole source of reliable information whilst distrusting everyone else. Any person who is capable of exposing and breaking the dependency is targeted with venom and will find their name blackened at every opportunity.

They Are Attention Seekers and You Are Their Audience

When close to being outwitted and exposed, the bully feigns victim hood and turns the focus on themselves.  This is another example of manipulating people through their emotion by invoking guilt, i.e., sympathy, feeling sorry, etc. Female serial bullies are especially partial to making themselves the center of attention by claiming to be the injured party whilst portraying their target as the villain of the alleged event. When the target tries to explain the game, they are immediately labeled “paranoid”.   Therefore, attention-seeking behavior is common with emotionally immature people trying to control others to feed their low sense of self worth by controlling their audience.

They Are Easy To Spot, but Usually Missed

The serial bully is easy to spot once you know what you are looking for: a Jekyll and Hyde nature, compulsive lying, manipulation (of emotions, perceptions, beliefs, etc), unpredictability, deception, denial, arrogance, narcissism, attention-seeking, etc., whilst always charming and plausible, especially when impressionable witnesses are present.

Serial bullies can be male or female –the main difference is that female bullies are more devious, more manipulative, more cunning, more sly, more psychological, more subtle, leave less evidence and will often bully with a smile. Female bullies will often manipulate a male into committing their violence for them. Male bullies tend to be less subtle, have a tendency towards physical aggression, and are generally less clever than female bullies.

The best response to a bully is to avoid conflict if you can, but arm yourself with information and then you can take your life back and quit living like a victim.

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What response is appropriate when trust in violated repeatedly by someone who does you wrong, violates your personal boundaries, and continually act in ways that consume your life emotionally, physically, and financially?  The obvious answer for many people is to run away and put as much distance between you and the offender as possible.  However, when an effort is made to manage others behavior, it can be a slippery slope.  It is like the old saying, “it takes two to Tango”.  Indeed assessing blame and taking responsibility for perceived unjust or unethical behavior  can turn on the accuser because everyone sees life events through a unique perspective.  Obviously, it is easier to blame others or appear to be what someone else has done instead of accepting responsibility for personal involvement and participation in a conflict situation that has produced actions, feelings, and outcome.

Looking at forgiveness from a purely religious or theological perspective leaves people with distorted ideas about responsibility for actions that violate another person’s rights, or that defrauds another person willfully of benefit.  Many people think that you are supposed to get “holy amnesia” when you are wronged by someone and if you are really spiritual that you will act as if nothing ever happened.  As a result, when some people look at the idea of forgiveness through a theological construction, often emphasis is placed upon unconditional forgiveness. In fact, unconditional forgiveness ideally removes responsibility for actions, absolves guilt, removes consequences, and restores relationships. However, when it comes to the subject of forgiveness an important issue to consider is that human beings are emotional beings subject to human limitations and are not God.  Unfortunately many people who have been deeply hurt by others are further damaged by guilt and manipulation of idealist who may not understand fully that there is more to forgiveness than holy amnesia.  Consequently, when it comes to forgiveness many people apply the doctrine of redemption and forgiveness that is provide by God upon human experiences as if it is normal to act just as God does while living as a finite human being. Unfortunately, for many people feeling the hurt and pain of broken relationships the pain doesn’t get any better when religious notions are used to bruise the offended further. Think about this: if the central emphasis is placed upon benefit for the sinner, relief for the offender, and not upon the effects of behavior on the way relationships have become tangled, there can be little growth without a healthy process that addresses the consequences for the act of offense.

In a simplistic, view of forgiveness is a need for relief from any sense of guilt from actions and vindication, i.e., relief from emotional, social, and, personal for wrongdoing.  In a theological understanding penalty is  removed and sinners escape eternal separation from God, as well as the benefit of relationship in the present.  However, the theological definition is not a very practical way to apply to how forgiveness between people occurs who are the product of a fallen nature, an developing spiritual capacity, and who experience systemic relational problems.  Obviously, individuals with a diminished developmental difficulty lack a God-like ability to negotiate healthy balance between forgiveness and responsibility.  Therefore, when many people think of forgiveness they are equating it with to the doctrine of absolution from Roman Catholic Theology, where the priest mystically removed the penalty for wrong acts. Consequently, when the discussion about forgiveness is raised, movement away from a simplistic view of people who live by shoulds and should nots will be enhanced when we realize that people must go through a process toward forgiveness that is not instant “holy amnesia”.

One way to think about this is that there is a fundamental difference between forgiveness and removal of cumulative consequences. Indeed, it is true that Jesus died on the Cross-as a substitution for the sins of those who place faith in Him.  However, does that mean that all of the consequence or sin and sins are removed at the cross in every area of life?  Some people believe the answer is yes, but the answer is an emphatic no.  For instance, the thief on the cross still died for his crimes, while he was forgiven of his sins. Therefore, a principle that needs to be understood is that consequences in the human life remain even when there is full forgiveness.  Something to consider is that many people see forgiveness as a relief from responsibility for behavior. Obviously, escapist thinking under girds many beliefs that people have about forgiveness from bad behavior.  One place this is evident is in the majority of prayers prayed by people that focus upon God relieving or delivering from individuals from consequences in life instead of changing the person by providing ability to bear up under consequences and remaining faithful in circumstances.  Somehow, some people have come to believe that when they are forgiven of wrongdoing they will no longer have to live under the conditions that bring consequences from choices made or face responsibility for consequences. Unfortunately, the fact remains that unethical, unjust behavior influence, levels of trust, communication, and relationship dynamics that affect everything in life.

There is no doubt that common sense tells us that when something horrendous occurs to a person emotionally, psychologically, or personally devastates life, it will not be relieved with a simple “I’m sorry”. In fact, something is out of balance with thinking that forgiveness equates an words of contrition, or acting like something did not happen. Obviously, it is like believing the words, “I am sorry” will remap the cells of brain, change thought patterns, modify behaviors in way that minimizes, erases responsibility and eradicates consequences.  Further, this point of view is prevalent among those in the church and is expressed through an attitude that places greater emphasis upon acceptance of wrongdoers than it does upon the spiritual, social, and eternal consequences of evil acts. Obviously, all actions have consequences and as much as individuals may want to ignore them, pretend they don’t exist, or mystically wish them away, there is an ongoing impact on life. As a result, what can be learned from church history is the point of view that minimizes responsibility from wrongdoing is called, Antinomianism.

This perspective presented a problem recorded in the book of Roman where Paul asked a question directed at responsibility for actions, “What shall we say then, shall we continue in sin that grace may abound”.  Consequently, rational people know that when there are evil acts, there is not a freedom from responsibility, but a challenge to accept responsibility that leads to a change in behavior in a responsible manner.

Apparently, some people believed that the more they sinned, the more grace was magnified as a principle of forgiveness and acceptance —more grace is evident and available.  Unfortunately, this is how many people view responsibility for their wrongdoing: the more they are forgiven, the less sensitivity that is felt about the grave nature of injustice to others.  For example, this is particularly evident in how passionately criminals rationalize the crimes against others when they find Jesus. Indeed, there is a feeling of need for relief through redemption and absolution in forgiveness.

However,   there is a visible absence of remorse, acts of restitution, or change of attitude about crimes committed against victims.  Those who are most passionate about forgiveness and who advocate acceptance, restoration, and vindication are those who have the greatest guilt and sin. What needs to be understood is that Jesus died on the cross for Sin to give a remedy for sin.  Sin is a legal term expressed in John 3:17, Romans 8:1, as condemnation, which means eternal punishment, separation from God.  The forgiveness that Jesus offers, in His work on the cross, is to provide a way to experience a changed life, not to escape the consequences of actions.  In the theological concept, forgiveness is about changing behavior and redeeming the consequences through building a life of trust and faith. On the other hand, naive acceptance without accountability reinforces the potential for evil to thrive and prosper.

One of the problems is that forgiveness is applied by using a utilitarian philosophy of forgiveness rooted in hedonism. The pleasure principle advocates that the greatest outcome in life is on the least path of resistance.  In other words, the way that brings the greatest pleasure in life. Utilitarian’s advocate the principle of greatest good and is the best for everyone concerned.

However, the question remains unanswered about how is the greatest good or best is determined?  Usually the good is in human terms, socially, from group input from sociocultural norms and mores’, not from a universal or rational truth.  Unfortunately, Utilitarian forgiveness is not very effective at helping people change behaviors or protecting people from harm, and restoring trust.

In this case, forgiveness carries with it toleration and means that there are no universal understanding of consequences for morally wrong behaviors.  Therefore, illegal activities and potentially damaging behavior deconstructs all normal boundaries for behavioral expectations and normal expectations about responsibility.  Therefore, when people become so desensitized to consequences of evil that the effect is no longer felt, the result is an inadequate view of forgiveness and responsibility.  As a result, when there is a fundamental belief that there is forgiveness for sin and there are no consequences, spiritual change or personal growth does not occur as a life principle.  Behavior adapts to wrongdoing creating no accountability and the system dynamic makes the abnormal the normal.  Consequently, forgiveness should demonstrate change in the forgiven not reinforce a potential to act in evil ways without accountability. Consequently, forgiveness should mean that, I am changing how I feel and how I believe, so life can move forward in a healthy productive way.

A cultural challenge to forgiveness in the 21^st century is that within Utilitarian thought there is never really any possibility of right or wrong.  Obviously, this belief is connected to a relativistic view of culture that removes all moral implications of sin or wrongdoing and no absolutes.  Therefore, the view is that nothing is really ever wrong, so forgiveness is just a psychological transaction where feelings are purged creating emotional catharsis and acceptance.  However, novel that may seem to modern people, this thinking does little for the person who has been violated and who has memories encoded with trauma after an experience creating Post-Traumatic Stress.

Forgiveness is an internal process that sets the forgiving person free from bitterness and internalizing of pain in self-destructive ways. However, contrary to popular thought, forgiveness does not mean the offender is free from the consequences of their actions.  The news report about Usama bin Laden being killed is a sober reminder that evil actions have consequences that will stalk a person and exact a penalty sooner or later through consequence in life and after death.  Obviously, we live in a time when universal truth has been rejected and been replaced with a view that makes all actions relative to the person. Consequently, the reality of 21st century sophistry is no moral right and wrong, but only what is relative to a person or a group.

Another point of view presented in Psalm 37 says,” Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity.  For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb”.  Indeed what will happen is that a every person will fall into the hands of a just God who has reminded us that there are consequence for evil acts of violence.  Therefore, the message that resounds is the pain we feel for unjust acts in this life is only a token of the eternal reward for injustice from evil acts in this life.  Something to think about is that a point of view that may not be popular, but is a eternal reality is that God will have the last word on every act and consequence of evil behavior.

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Some things to consider about existence:

For those who believe that the biblical story of creation is factual, it is important to recognize that God, not only created life, but He also sustains life.  Therefore, God has diagramed a divine purpose into human existence.  Unquestionably, purposeful creation reinforces a view of life that emphasizes the confidence that God is the central equation of existence.  In fact, purposeful creation provides a clear reason for existence and instills a logical equilibrium for life reflecting reasonable belief in God as creator, sustainer, and source of human life.  Consequently, God’s intention is at the center of the initial act of creating life and is the active force before and after everything occurring in life.

An important model from a Christian world-view providing definition to this proposition is intelligent design, which “is a theory that rejects the theory of natural selection, arguing that the complexities of the universe and of all life suggest an intelligent cause in the form of a supreme creator.  It’s all for him” (intelligent design) .  Making application of belief in intelligent design in creation presupposes that God existed before creation and is the designer, as well as, catalyst for design and creation of the world where humans exist.  As a result, the basic assumption in the argument for a supreme creator suggests reason for creation lay within the creator of humans and not with the creation.  Therefore, intelligent design implicates a watershed principle that God is the imperative reason for existence of all living creatures and inanimate matter.  Consequently, among those who believe in creation, recognizing God at the center of all creation moderates a rationale for life on based purpose –design not on random chance, which sustains belief in purposeful existence and an objective through existence.

Making sense of the rationale for existence:

On the other hand, if you are the person who believes natural selection governs existence or the result of biological migration from one life form to the next, here is something to consider.  It will be hard to envision any reason for existence other than the biological, physical, and random events in present experience of life contained within the choices and goals we set for accomplishment.  Within this point of view, a central theme is that humanity is at the center of existence.  Therefore, life purpose finds expression through the power of the will, beliefs, and choices exercised to create purposeful or meaningful existence.  Indeed, it is a view of life, which puts forward an opinion that the substance of life is like a game of biological and humanistic chance.  A belief in humanistic philosophy (4.Humanism) holds a very limited hope for effective outcome without the good fortune from choices.  As a result, life experience is lessens in scope to random choice predicted by biology, individual choices, and timing of events.  The outcome is a life with a sort of a fatalistic outlook where human ingenuity, genetic structure, and random events forecast an inevitable life within certain circumstances.  Undoubtedly then, existence functions in a manner that is limited to a subset of systems on different levels at work in human existence.  Therefore, existence, by this definition, is an existence within a given culture, time, and environment that is limited to humanity apart from intelligent design.  Unquestionably, the rationale for existence is reduced to a quantifiable product of random events intersecting with biological human experience in a set of unknowable variables in life.

In contrast to humanism, the content of conservative Christian Theology advocates for meaning and purpose intricately related to God’s intention within His Divine reason for human existence.  The contrast to natural selection is the point of view within Christian Theology This point of view states unequivocally that life is a unique creation of God with divinely inspired reason as a basis for existence.  To be sure, at a very basic level, the elementary reasoning communicates that there is an intended purposeful relationship.  It is an intended –purposeful relationship revealed through the redemptive power of a relationship to God in Jesus Christ resulting in a transformational life that is both spiritual and eternal.  Consequently, the work of God performed in Christ to achieve a purpose that biological function cannot achieve for man at his highest level of functioning, chances, or choices.

Consider what John, the Apostle said about God’s reasoning in existence:

In contrast to a secular world-view, there is a well-reasoned rationale within the Christian world-view for believing that life and existence are not an accident of biology, but rather a product of reasoning originating with God.  In support of this perspective, John 1:1 refers to the Logos of God, which delineates, “a word, being the expression of a thought …a broad term meaning, ‘reasoning expressed by words”.  Furthermore, John 1:1, ff. says, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. The same was in the beginning with God. All things were made by him; and without him was not anything made that was made.”  An essential conclusion in the record of John is that the reasoning of God is the rationale beneath “making” all things. Therefore, in John’s record, the preceding idea that predates creation is the Logos (reasoning) of God.

Accordingly, it is reasoning expressed in the choice of words selected to portray God’s concept that describe purpose and design in creation.  For this reason, the selection of words and arrangement of concept through language uses a picture portrayed that describes Christ, as the reason that stands above.  Furthermore, Christ’s description is with language indicating His preexistence before and beyond time as the very substance of creation, as well as, creation that initiated the concept of existential time.  Indeed, the suggestion is that reasoning by words command the interpretation that delineate that the Logos of God predated time, creation, the earth, and existence of humanity.  Without a doubt, by words and concept His reasoning express a purpose –design by God presented through creation and revealed in the disclosure of Christ.  In support of this, John asserts several important factors about God’s reasoning.

First, a fundamental reason declared by John is that the purpose for creation correlates to God’s purpose in Christ in a cohesive concept and executed plan.  The concept and plan reveal redemption as objective truth, which preexisted time and human creation as an essential reason within the plan of God for creation.  Therefore, the logical rationale introduced by John is that the activity in creation is as central to God’s purpose in creation, as redemption is to God’s purpose in Christ.  Therefore, John concludes that creation is not a random accident of molecular mutation, but a purposeful expression of the creator revealing His purpose in the creation demonstrating a rationale for revealing God’s purpose in redemption.

Obviously, the point made is that His Spirit intimately connects God’s general purpose in human creation to God’s specific purpose in drawing people into a relationship with a sovereign and eternal God that brings glory to Him.  When John speaks of Christ, He speaks of Him as the light of men, as well as, the light of the world.  In consideration of the light that is spoken of, a “light, a source of light, radiance” that brings spiritual illumination to existence in an understanding of God’s glorious purpose for the believer.  Therefore, the life that God purposes through Christ is a life motivated by a spiritual life that a believer grows into through the process of discipleship and personal development.  Accordingly, the object of God’s design is switching from a life lived for self interest to a life that is lived by God’s design being revealed through a life of surrender, sacrifice, and service.

Living For God’s Glory Is The Greatest Achievement We Can Accomplish With Our Lives.

In like manner, the position that a person must take in life leads to the place where the light comes on and revelation enables spiritual awakening to come.  It is in that moment that believers come alive spiritually because there is a realization that life is not about following some biological urge or environment conditioning to achieve some temporal goal.  On the other hand, the awareness comes that the central reason for existence suddenly focuses upon God and His plan.  From that moment on, everything that happens in our existence is because of Him, by Him, and through Him, and for His glory.  As a result, life importance and events translate into one simple statement, “That it is all about Him”.  For this reason, Theologians label this a theocentric view of existence, which situates God at the center of everything in our world.  What is evident is the only sound reason for existence and the only meaningful way to organize life into a purposeful existence centers in a relationship with God.  Consequently, in this moment that connects unique creation and the ultimate goal of life leads back to the principle that is man’s chief aim, “To bring glory to God and enjoy him forever” (Baptist Catechism).  Consequently, the rationale of God centered faith and trust infuses life with intentionality to fulfill the purpose of creation.

References

intelligent design. (n.d.). Collins English Dictionary – Complete & Unabridged 10th Edition. Retrieved February 08, 2013, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/intelligent design

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When anything in creation fulfills its purpose, it brings glory to God

“He has shown you, O man, what is good.  And what does the Lord require of you? But to act justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8KJV).

 Clear thinking about spiritual living and fruitful existence

 One of the great challenges for many Christians is to get their head out of the box of performance-based spirituality.  For instance, religious legalism results in people trying to bring glory to God by doing religious things.  As a result, doing religious things produces religious conformity motivated by expectations focused upon performance, outcome, and conformity, rather than spiritual transformation through grace.  Unfortunately, while rigid conformity to what is required may produce results, the results may not be a genuine expression of attitudes born out of spiritual conversion.  To be precise, spiritual transformation results in the most effective natural spiritual expression of purpose.  Further, when the character of God infuses the heart of the believer with life from the vine, the believer produces lasting fruit (John 15:16).  Indeed, when people attempt to be something that they are not, the impression may make an impact, but unfortunately, it will not last long.

For this cause, understanding “what is good” is not the process of developing controlled behavior.  Rather, understanding “what is good” is the natural fruit of a character that is holy.  When God’s character fills the heart, the evidence will show a changed motivation for acting justly, loving, and with humility.  Without a doubt, it is a life experience that is consistent with whom God created believers to be in Him.  Think about the characteristics Micah identifies and where the source of “what is good” originates from to produce natural behavior.  The truth is that following specific requirements, as a legal stipulation, brings glory to the person.  However, when life is lived with a heart tuned to the desires of God; then a believer can be who God created them to be in a spiritual existence bringing glory to God –being the natural, transparent reflection of God’s purpose in the work of grace.

For this reason, the greatest testimony to the rationale of God in creation is when creation surrenders to the unique purpose placed within the distinctive creative design for life.  In fact, once surrender occurs, creation is in the best possible position to align with a natural and spontaneous ability to fulfill the greatest level of effectiveness in the activities of creation in a manner that brings glory to God.

 Consider the words of the psalmist about the purpose of creation

 “The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork” (Psalm 19:1)

 Worshiping and enjoying God through being whom God created

The words of the psalmist emphatically state that the heavens bring glory to God by fulfilling the natural purpose for the heavens.  Further, the psalmist states that the physical presence of the clouds in the sky performing the natural function of clouds are a testimony that brings reverence and worship to the wonder of a creator. The creator, with a rationale and intelligent design called the heavens into existence with purpose and reason.  Therefore, worshiping Him is the objective reason inherent within a life of purposeful existence.  As a result, when life is a natural demonstration of reflecting His glory through being God’s creation, there is celebration of the reason for existence.  When we can settle into a life focused on the person God created and engages life through our unique gifts, the “state of being” turns from earthly, fleshly pursuits to a life of worship that brings glory to Him.  C.S. Lewis stated it this way, “In commanding us to glorify Him, God is inviting us to enjoy Him” (Lewis).  In effect, worship is more than just praising, singing, and feeling, “Worship is a lifestyle of enjoying God, loving him, and giving ourselves to be used for his purposes” (Warren, 2002 p.56).  Loving God and enjoying him results in a second step in purposeful existence, loving others, as a natural function of purposeful spiritual existence.

Consider how John describes love as a natural manifestation of a relationship with God

 “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.  Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God” (1 John 4:7, NIV).

John expresses a central attribute of God’s preference and character by using, “agápē – properly, love which centers in moral preference” (agape, Strong’s 26).  Just as the sky was created to provide an atmosphere that humans live and thrive in, love as a moral preference –choice, between believers enables an environment that spiritual life thrives within.  Spiritual prosperity is natural because love is an innate characteristic of God revealed through spiritual purpose in transformational change.  Transformation is a spiritual work of God who opens a darkened mind with a novel idea that values the freedom to choose the high road in relationships with others.

Think about this for a moment, “When you learn to appreciate everything around you that is when you have found the true meaning of life.  But when you have learned to love another with all your heart, that is when you have finally understood and start to actually fulfill the purpose of your existence” (Testy McTesterson).  On the contrary, Christians who choose to live in unloving ways demonstrate the antithesis of God’s moral preference in a way that elevates depravity, which in turn elevates an immoral preference.  In effect, living in conflict with the true self in a life of expressing love magnifies the age-old conflict with the natural order of creation that God designed to be released. Consequently, the result of disconnect from the love of God disables man’s greatest potential for existence. Therefore, the great goal of existence in loving and enjoying God is enhanced when believers are so affected by His love that love becomes an outer expression of our innermost relationship to God compelling a life of service.

 Becoming like Christ may mean something different than we imagined

 “For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son” (Romans 8:29, KJV).  When the mind imagines what it really means to be a Christian, conformity is a word that expresses how some people attempt to legislate artificial fruit.  The process produces the external religious substitute for an internal life of transparency and surrender to God.  Think about this for a moment, “To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life” (Robert Louis Stevenson).  Undoubtedly, if a person believes that God created humans through intelligent design; then there is an inherent capability in our makeup that gives physical and human potential. In addition, design implies that there is a spiritual potential that Paul expresses as “conformity to the image of His Son”. The very idea suggests that it is not a materialistic human accomplishment to be conformed to in a set of procedures, but rather an internal process of surrender to a life of servanthood that utilizes development of the gifts that God has given us in Christ.  

The affirmation of purposeful existence through surrender to servanthood

When anything in creation fulfills its purpose, it brings glory to God

 When a believer comes to grips with the idea that God has created each person with the ultimate goal of being like him, the affirmation resounds a message that says to become, as Christ is to take on the mantle of a servant.  Therefore, the object of God’s love characterizes a life of ministry motivated by love for God that brings enjoyment and fulfillment.  It is a life-demonstrating ministry loving and serving others with the gift that God has bestowed within a life of surrender.  In fact, when the creation surrenders, then a spiritual manifestation of the glory of God causes life to align with the greatest potential for meaningful service.  Unquestionably, service is executed in a life of serving performed out of love for God, fellow man, and through selfless service. Without a doubt, the acts of surrendered existence form a doxology of existential activity giving a voice of praise to the works of God through creation.

Consider the words of the Apostle Paul about the rationale of God in His wisdom

“Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!  How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out!  ‘Who has known the mind of the Lord?  Or who has been his counselor?  Who has ever given to God, that God should repay him?’  For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen” (Romans 11:33-36, NIV).

There is no doubt that, Paul is describing the revelation of God challenging believers to worship God by ascribing a doxology of praise to God the wise creator. In support of Paul’s words, C. S. Lewis says, “In commanding us to glorify him, God is inviting us to enjoy him” (C. S. Lewis 1998, pp. 94-95). Therefore, Lewis’s observation fits marvelously with the first commandment of God.  Obviously, both make the point that to love God is to delight in Him and to enjoy relationship with Him.  A point well taken affirms that when you love God, you worship Him, for as Lewis observes, “all enjoyment spontaneously overflows into praise.  …  We delight to praise what we enjoy because the praise not merely expresses but completes the enjoyment; it is its appointed consummation” (Lewis).

To be sure, when we “believe in Jesus”, we do not just believe facts about His deity or even His resurrection.  On the other hand, we believe that He is the only way to God, that His sacrifice is the only atonement God will accept, and that He is the only solution to our desperate need for salvation from the wrath of God we justly deserve.  Consequently, real existence –a life of purpose, begins when a commitment to Jesus Christ completely.  The Bible promises, “To all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God” (John 1:12, NIV).  The personal application is possible to those who believe and are able to receive the intelligent design created by God for a holy life made possible through spiritual transformation.

References

C. S. Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms [New York: Harcourt, Brace and World, 1958], 94-95.

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A question often asked by people who are having problems says something like this, “When am I ever going be to be happy”? 

So what is happiness anyway?

A place to begin is with a dictionary definition, which associates happiness as an emotion of joy, gladness, satisfaction, and well-being.  Since the dictionary defines it in terms of emotion, many people may conclude that when there is the absence of those life affirming emotions mentioned that happiness is not a reality.  Apparently, somehow meaning is attached to happiness that translates into an absence of pain or difficulty.  If you are a philosopher or study the field of Ethics, you will quickly identify this definition as consistent with ideas drawn from the philosophy of Hedonism, which describes the pleasure principle as the central motif of making life work in a way to reduce pain, discomfort, and difficulty for the “greatest good” as an outcome rationale.  Applying this philosophy of life affirms the idea that when people are happy life is experienced with the least amount of difficulty, pain, or unpleasantness within life experience. Obviously, this sounds good in principle, but it is a very simplistic way to view a very complex subject that leaves the questions of people with less than positive life experience with a lack of hope that happiness can be realized.

We usually seek success in order to find happiness.

One of the fallacies in looking at happiness because of circumstances is that it constructs happiness from feelings of success or performance outcome.  However, much of life is lived on a street that has noisy neighbors, sick children, grass to mow, snow to shovel, and storms that come and go.  The result is that life is full of experiences that may not have an outcome that feels like success.  A relevant point relates to how well-being and satisfaction incorporates into a life filled with experience that evokes negative emotional responses.  Unfortunately, what is missing from the dictionary definition is a comprehensive understanding of common happiness that everyone can have no matter what life brings. In reference to this, Dr. Marla Gottschalk states that:

How we “digest” our life experiences, both negative and positive, can be instrumental in influencing levels of happiness.  As Achor explains, reported happiness cannot always be fully explained by life events themselves –it is how we view those life events that prove to be pivotal.  Many of us have a tendency to become focused upon negative information and events (possibly an evolutionary necessity).  As a result, we may under-represent our successes and fail to draw energy from them. On some level, we give up our power to be happy – by resting its fate entirely in the external world – when in fact, our “internal script” can be quite influential. Shorter-lived emotions can contribute to a broader “affect”, or tendency to feel either positive or negative. (What is happiness then? (Positive Psychology and Happiness at Work).

Happiness precedes success in the way thoughts are constructed in the mind

Happiness is a way of thinking about life that uses an organized way of mental cognition that incorporates using “pathways thinking” to create momentum in the activity of life.  Unfortunately, the notion that experiencing a particular life outcome will create happiness is conceptually flawed because this perspective lacks a consistent and measurable inference.  For instance, placing two individuals in an exact set of circumstances does not indicate that happiness will occur sequentially or is predictable.  In fact, the level of well-being felt will depend more on the way individuals think about events than the events alone.  Obviously, two people can have the same experience and value the experience in different ways.  On the other hand, another way to look at happiness is that happiness is consistent with thinking constructs, which introduces quantitative and qualitative factors into the life that individuals experience.

Think about the meaning of the word, “life”

A simple definition of life is, “the animate existence or period of animate existence of an individual” (Dictionary.com). 

For many people life is just an existence or a human organic experience of conscious awareness with a sort of organic fatalism that reduces life to what we have in our genes and DNA.  However, life is much more than an organic existence of matter over a set period of time.  Life is an activity which describes a corresponding state, existence, or principle of existence conceived of as belonging to the soul” (Dictionary.com) as both quality of life and quantity of time in existence.  An idea expressed in the words of Jesus that connects a meaning to life that delineates a way of thinking about life that predicts outcome in life says, “I have come to give life; and life more abundant” (John 10:10 KJV).

Textual evidence from grammar interprets life as “zōḗ – life (physical and spiritual).  … it always (only) comes from and is sustained by God’s self-existent life”.  In addition, life is modified in the use of an adjective abundant … “perissós (an adjective), properly all-around …  beyond what is anticipated, exceeding expectation”, which describes a life lived with a view of life characterized by (well-being and satisfaction=happiness).  Another related word that adds meaning to the way Christians think about happiness spoken of in the Psalms is, “blessedness”, which describes a state of being in a Christian life that orders the thoughts around a spiritual view of life that is grounded in a reflective relationship with God.  Also, “blessedness” informs existence with an aptitude, a view toward life, informing the way behavior occurs in life. An important point to make is that in the Beatitudes, (Matthew 5:ff.) happiness is not associated with the removal of pain or the absence of challenging experiences, but rather, with a changed perspective.  In fact, the idea is that optimum happiness results from life being viewed through certain definable attitudes understood about life from God’s perspective.

Thinking patterns discipline the mind to create happiness and pathways for life

Later in the Bible, The apostle Paul wrote about the activity of the mind.  He said, “every thought should be brought into captive obedience to Christ.”  The message of I Corinthians resonates the principle that ineffective ways of thinking must be superseded with organizing the thoughts around a perspective of life dominated by a positive Christian mindset.  The idea is present in the text that suggests that vain ways of thinking result in spiritual captivity to false ideas about life.  So, when life does not experience the well-being that individuals feel entitled to experience in the circumstances of life, what response should be given?  Peter said, “Gird up the loins of your mind” (1 Peter 1:13).  Strengthen the mental outlook is the central message of Peter to those facing persecution.  Obviously, there is a mental motif prescribed: When life is falling apart and does not give you the measure of success that is expected, quit fighting the circumstances to find happiness.  The point is to reorganize thinking around hope that will create new pathways, ways of thinking about life.  The consistent and compelling message about happiness is not the absence of challenging, heart-wrenching events.  The application is the message about the way thoughts are organized with a view toward life.  The application is about how inner strengths of character are identified through hope and how happiness develops a pathway to effective living. As a result, happiness will not be achieved through technological development, possession of things, or vain expectation: it is achieved through inner development of the person.

Common ideas about happiness are found in a belief that if a person takes up a hobby like wood carving, playing golf, or other activities that the unhappiness can be distracted denied, and delegitimized.  However, while distraction from pain or unhappiness may minimize the symptoms of unhappiness in life, it will not change a point of view about life.  The truth is that you can never remove unhappy events in life by replacing challenges with the innocuous placebo of pleasure.  One craving only leads to another, which leads to another reinforcing a life of pursuing pleasure to numb the pain felt about unhappiness in life circumstances.

What is the road to happiness?

The answer rests in altering ineffective thinking by cleaning up the clutter about how we organize thoughts about life.  Happiness does not guarantee that life will never face difficulty.  On the other hand, happiness changes how individual think about difficulty and what they will do when challenging moments come.  The road to happiness is joined to an inward journey of the development of the mind, spirit, and soul-life.  Indeed, spiritual life cannot be isolated in a detached metaphysical experience of escape from pain, from difficulty, or performance of duty.  The matter of importance is that happiness is rooted in a way of thinking toward life.  Therefore, the road to happiness is understanding, which leads to positive life-affirming ways of thinking reflectively about life.

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A Narrow and Vanishing Perspective

I only have one opinion so it is the only one I can give.  I know that sounds narrow minded and resistant, but isn’t that really what it boils down to with everyone?  However, the problem with opinion is that many time opinions are irrelevant in an atmosphere of constant change of culture and communication technology.  As a result, one of the challenges in modern world is to understand the speed that culture is changing right before our eyes and how the communication of ideas is in constant state of flux.  Therefore,  on the high speed information network, the challenge reinforces a constant need to adapt to changing constructs and to understand that there may be an inhibited ability to comprehend the rate that information passing before our eyes is  feeding a blurred generational and cultural myopia.  In a world  where a narrow perspective is vanishing, some people may ask: Does any generation have an absolute truth or a point of view that is constant, timeless, and irrefutable through all of time, generations, and cultures to balance information contained in the communication of ideas?  Obviously, while there are differences about the answer, the ideas that many people hold as timeless principles of truth seems to be quickly vanishing in the milieu of ideas and being edited within the context of modern culture. A strong point of consideration about information and communication in a world that is technology bound is the strong evidence to suggest that the happenings of culture today are affecting, not only what subjects are relevant to the times, but how communication occurs in the 21st century.

In recent blog post Ed Stetzer (2011) cited Adlai Stevenson who stated, ‘”That which seems the height of absurdity in one generation often becomes the height of wisdom in another.’ He did not have a particularly high view of the next generation, but he does challenge us to consider the radical changes in thinking that are sometimes seen between generations” (Stetzer).   The apparent point to be understood is that every generation has a perspective that shapes contemporary beliefs— what is deemed important—values that form a perspective about level of importance of certain ideas.  In addition, it is not just the message of communication and values that is important, it is the fact that methods of communicating from the past are vanishing and being replaced on the super highway of technology. Consequently, what is apparent from an understanding cultural transformation in the 21st century is that a present cultural perspective is shaping point of view and validating the principle that both the vehicle and the message in every generation creates a shift in how people in a given generation arrive at a destination that they believe is truth and in a vehicle that the present generation creates its own mind-set.

Just as people from different cultures, races, and people groups think differently about important issues, generations are cultural subgroups of the macrocosm of human existence.  It is evident that each  thinks differently about matters of  believed to be of importance.  However, remember that successive generations hold a different point of view that is emerging and is relevant to the time.  Therefore while people may disagree, different perspectives are worth taking time to consider. It is said that one thing common to every generation is how the collective perspective is internalized. Ed Stetzer  (2011)  cited George Orwell’s perspective, which states that “Each generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it and wiser than the one that comes after it” (Stetzer).  Someone from a past generation may ask: Are current generations really more intelligent or are earlier generations wiser?  Obviously, the answer depends on perspective – what it looks like from where you are standing or pontificating.

What perspectives are influencing the way life is understood in the 21st century?

The perspective, the unique way life is understood today, is a sociological and cultural phenomenon. For those who want to deny reality and continue to ignore what is shaping the point of view of the emergent culture of the 21st century only creates frustration and disconnection, which does not offer any substantive answers or a reasonable framework to understand reasoning behind current ideals.

Ideologues and philosophers offer suggestion about what is occurring, but unfortunately understanding ideals and philosophy alone will not provide efficacy that creates effective communication. Ideals, are generally moral ideas or mores’ based on certain group identification that create expectations about how people should think or act. Philosophical assumptions are the ways that beliefs are rationalized into reason.  Thus forming, the informational content of perspective. Values or axiology has more to do with what is deeply felt, importance, passion, and motivation that affect beliefs. For example, the   felt importance of something believed to be true.  When tension deposited in life experience that conflicts with values, it results in conflicting ideas about importance that creates a  disconnect between perceptions and experienced reality.

The question is formed: Who/what is right how can the way values are felt be rationalized with experience that does not match a reality believed?  Unfortunately, I find myself at odds with most idealist and the emphasis upon what should be and find myself focused upon what emerging culture is saying. As a point of reference something that needs to be understood is how to  connect perception to reality.  Consequently, the constant flow of information  redefines the importance of what seems logical in one generation as information is disseminated and absorbed into successive generations.  Therefore, there is a tension that exists in the message and mode of communication that results in aberrations in what is felt about the information, which places the greatest emphasis upon perspective.

Obviously, anyone can give an opinion about what is wrong with something.  However, knowing what is wrong is not the critical issue in communication of solutions that are workable.  One perspective that some people have is to write people off who look different, think different, and have a differing perspective.  Another point of view is to embrace the culture and learn the language, thinking, and mindset of the 21st century.  Seeing someone else’s perspective is not whitewashing culture or moralizing behaviors, it is asking why do people do that in the way they do and understanding if the desire is to connect, communicate, and build meaningful relationships that we need to understand more than what we know.

With the increasing isolation of people and the desire to have relationships, there is a tremendous opportunity to step outside a solitary opinion and understand people as part of a culture that thinks different than we do.  The opportunity demonstrates a tremendous potential, if we will take time to understand how perception formation is impacting beliefs and governs the content and methods of communication in the 21st century.

Point of View Perspective Beliefs God Theology Church Traditions Statistics Surveys Theory Demographics Communication Context Relationships Unchurched Christian Universalism Philosophy Vision Mission Outcome.

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• Reading Selections from Robert Sokolowski’s Introduction to Phenomenology 4 (payingattentiontothesky.com)
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• When I Deconverted, I Sure Could Have Used The Secular Student Alliance (freethoughtblogs.com)
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Furthermore, there is a deeply engrained preoccupation with significance built upon the immediate value of experience to self, instant gratification, and what personal benefit is gained. The system of this world-view is focused upon a temporal advantage to the immediate, rather than the long term benefit of future value. The result demonstrates a defective understanding of life obsessed with the present coupled to feelings of entitlement. The outcome that must be coped with is emptiness and an experience of building an occurrence of life filled with circular efforts to fill the void left by abdicating a life built upon eternal values. An important point of reference is the present day high focus upon pluralism in spiritual ideals and how values are re-spun from collaboration into a collective thought that express generic view of spirituality.  An example of pluralism in today’s culture can be seen through a view of life that is very much influenced by eastern philosophy. The predominant preponderance of ideas about life today has moved away from “sweet by and by” idealism to an emphasis upon the here and now.  The idea seems to support the notion of being effective with as little difficulty as possible. However, in the present atmosphere the importance of the cumulative experiences of life in being who God created you to be loses its meaning and purpose when life is reduced to the present momentary conditions of existence.

Consider the impact of valuing the present without consideration of the past and future.  The value that it expresses is that the measuring stick of life is the value of a present tense experience.  Unfortunately, an attitude about life that is disconnected from the past and detached from the future translates into a life that measures meaning through life in the moment.  Unfortunately, this particular view of life has transient, as well as, ever changing values, worth, and meaning that are never constant.  For instance, a factor in this way of thinking that may not be clearly understood limits every present moment to the temporary and in a moment be the past; then in another moment is the future.  Therefore, life only connected to the moment can only be measured by the value or wisdom the moment brings.  It is because life in the moment has no influence from the past and the present has no concern toward the future.  An example of a similar attitude is reflected upon in the writings of Buddhism, “The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly” (Buddha).  Other common expressions expressing similar ideas like, “Live, Love, and Laugh”.  The thought of this motto expresses a concern for the greatest good in present pursuit as a utopian maxim of the pleasure principle with no connection to the past with an absence of thought about an obtainable future.  It is just to relax in the moment and enjoy life to the fullest as if tomorrow has no significance.  The goal expressed is to produce the most pleasant existence that has vacated thoughts about the past complexities of life, what they mean in today’s experience, or what influence our life map has upon life in the future.  An application of this perspective summed up in a general way deposits a belief that purports life-philosophy, which states that a healthy balance in life is achieved by measuring existence in accordance with peace/harmony in the present moment. It is through a wise and sincere way of living that is disconnected with concerns about the past, as well as, an absence of worry about the future that makes life harmonious and peaceful.  However, the idea presented leaves a fundamental question about whom, how, or what determines what is wise without inclusion of a reflective process about life as a whole. The whole of life includes developmental experiences from the past and life experience today as a precursor to how life will be experienced in the future.

Considering the reality that every moment of life is a temporary assignment and life experiences are only here for a moment, it seems there is something larger that needs consideration.  For instance, examining life from a Christian point of view contextualizes life events in the terminology and perspective of a God.  The language and semantics of Christianity describes God as eternal, immutable, and not a momentary spiritual flash on the radar screen of time.  Consequently, when Jesus spoke of life that is potentially possible, He depicted life with words like eternal to describe life.

Listen to he words that Jesus spoke to those who listen to his message and believe in God.

“I tell you the truth, those who listen to my message and believe in God who sent me have eternal life.  They will never be condemned for their sins, but they have already passed from death into life”. (John 5:24, New Living Translation)

Without a doubt, Jesus spoke of life as eternal, not just a momentary experience, or a fleeting existence.  One of the questions contained in the thoughts of Jesus about life relates to who is shaping your view of existence.  Therefore, the question that is important to understanding why people live in the moment instead of with an eternal perspective is: who or what will determine our view of the human experience?  When we break the question down into a personal challenge, it is important to know whether we are measuring life in the moment, the experience, or the pleasure or pain of life experience.  On the other hand, we need to determine if we really understand the temporal nature of life and how everything in the present will, one day be, immersed into everlasting life prepared before the foundation of the earth.  It is a progression of life provided for in Christ’s redemption provided on the Cross, realized through spiritual transformation, and actualized in a life of faith through practical sanctification.  The importance of the question is that it reveals a deeper issue of concern for Christians.  The concern is directed toward the content of a Christian world-view and the message about the transient nature of the past, present and future life in the grander scheme of God who created us to live through eternity.

Your identity is settled in eternity, and your homeland is heaven.

The answer to who God created us to be does not lay within the temporary assignment of this life, but in the eternal purpose of God. The life that God gives in the creative act of spiritual transformation is an abundant life.  Transformation through Christ provides the opportunity for a life of quality, but also, a life quantified by the eternity that God has designed.  Spiritual life is a sovereign work of grace that provides the pathway to life everlasting in a relationship forged by the spiritual birth.  Because life is a temporary assignment, it is difficult to find a lasting attachment or permanent identity in what is fading away every day.  When we come to the place of transformation and realize that who we are is not defined by an earthly tabernacle, but that the earthly tabernacle is the dress rehearsal for an eternity that is settled by the mediation of God to prepare us for eternity.

Earthly existence is compared to a tent that will one day be folded up and put away.

“For instance, we know that when these bodies of ours are taken down like tents and folded away, they will be replaced by resurrection bodies in heaven—God-made, not handmade—and we’ll never have to relocate our ‘tents again” (2 Corinthians 5:1, The Message).

The temporary will be replaced with the eternal and the permanent.  In the words of Paul, there is coming a day when the identity that has been formed in a fleshly existence will evaporate in the presence of what is eternal and reveals the true identity.  A new existence that will not be described by the temporary, but expressed in a descript identity revealing the person that God has uniquely prepared in a post human replacement of what we now see.  What we see now is temporary and what we will realize in translation is eternal and imperishable.  The point that is well taken is that our understanding of who God created us to be will be realized as we step into the existence that we earnestly groan for in our desire to be changed as we submit ourselves to the process of surrender to the true self.  What we realize in the present is that all of this that we struggle with is temporary and one day it will fold up and be put away for something far better and a life that is everlasting.

Earth is not our final home; we were created for something much better.

“But there’s far more to life for us. We’re citizens of high heaven! We’re waiting the arrival of the Savior, the Master, Jesus Christ, who will transform our earthy bodies into glorious bodies like his own” (Philippians 3:20-21).

Much of life is consumed with the efforts to make a better life in the present, but as Paul writes,”there’s far more to life for us”.  Something that is important to remember in all of the important things that we spend our time on is that this is not all there is and something far better is available.  It is available to provide hope in the present and expectation for a future beyond anything we can imagine.  Earthly life is only a temporary assignment and our real homeland is in the eternal purpose of God because our citizenship is in Heaven. An affirmation comes by “Realizing that life on earth is just a temporary assignment should radically alter your values [:] Eternal values, not temporal ones, should become the deciding factors for your decisions” (Warren 2002, p 50). Summing up the experience of our lives compared with earlier centuries, life has never been easier than it is today for most of the people in Western Civilization.  Life is filled with constant entertainment, amusement, and activity that accommodate an immediate and felt need for gratifying pleasure.  Considering all of the captivating attractions, attention-grabbing media entertainment, and pleasurable experiences available today, it is easy to forget that the pursuit of happiness is not the primary purpose for existence.

 What is the primary purpose for man in existence?

A reminder from the Baptist Catechism explains man’s primary purpose in an end state for existence, “Man’s chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy him forever.” A question that arises from man’s chief end is what does it mean to glorify God?  The term, “Glorify” does not mean make glorious because God is already glorious. Rather, it means to reflect or display as glorious. Other words you could use for “end” are “goal” or “purpose”. Therefore the “end or purpose” is to live in such a way that displays God’s purpose of grace in how we express who He has created us to become.

Glorifying God also implies using the resources, which grace has dispensed into our temporary assignment in this life.  In reference to this stewardship of glory and purpose, Paul gives the example of the end state of behaviors in life that is enabled by an attitude that is directed through purposeful living.  He says, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31). The point of reference is that in whatever we do, it should reflect an end, goal, or purpose reflecting an outcome elevating His purpose in how He has created us individually.

The end state gives testimony to the sovereign plan of God to reveal Himself through our purposeful existence reflecting a life of worship and reverence.  Therefore, in a life of glorifying God there is satisfying pleasure of following the direction that enhances life’s purpose bringing spiritual satisfaction.  The object is to enjoy God and bring pleasure through knowing that life is aligned with the purpose of God for creation, which brings harmony to existence.

Listen to the Psalmist’s words,  “You make known to me the path of life, in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore” ( Psalm 16:11). The object is to understand that we are God’s people and the sheep of his pasture that are created by Him.  Even as Isaiah wrote, “everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made” (Isaiah43:7) reminds the reader of the sovereign God who actively created and called His sheep unto Him to live beyond the temporary assignment of today in a life of glorifying and enjoying the creator in a life of worship and reverence.

The pursuit of happiness in God is the purpose for which God made us and is what life is about. The man who pursues his happiness in God will find the attractions, media, and experiences of this life clanging bangles and contemptible bobbles whose attraction grows pale in comparison to the pleasure God offers to those who seek Him.

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Published by the American Psychiatric Association, the DSM-IV-TR provides a common language and standard criteria for the classification of mental disorders.

While visiting on an out of state journey, I went outside on the back porch to talk while dinner was cooking.  As we sat in the sun and began to talk, a rather strange twist in the conversation occurred.  The conversation changed from generalities to a story about one of the people inside the house who had Borderline Personality Disorder.  As a listened, I was curious and perplexed about why a person I hardly knew was telling me about something so personal and so personally damaging to the other person.  The story was filled with vignettes and illustrations that created an illusion about erratic behavior to support the claims being made.  The accused person was described as such a difficult person to cope with, controlling, manipulative, passive aggressive and frustrating to deal with.  It all sounded very bizarre and out of character for this to be happening on the back porch.  As a result, this seemed even stranger as it went on to me because the two people bareley knew each other and had spent very little time together.

What I observed during the conversation was a person who was very convincing, impassioned, and had some reason to feel deeply enough to say these things to a perfect stranger, but I wondered what the real purpose in this conversation was?  As I listened, the personal feelings of the person telling the story unfolded through private and very personal details of experiences, but this missing link was why me and why now?  What really struck me as strange about the story was the there was little firsthand observation, just a lot of hearsay information from others people’s experiences spun into a conclusion.  Pondering the question of why, it seems that this conversation was an intentional to influence my perspective to match a reality created in the mind of someone who had a goal in mind.  Therefore, why this was happening was not abundantly clear at the moment, but I was determined to understand more about the actual issue beneath the words, accusations, and characterizations in this conversation.  Consequently, I suspected that there was more to the story that I needed to know to understand how to respond.  What was apparent was that there was a perception about the meaning of the frustration with relationship problems.  As a result, the problem had been labeled as Borderline Personality Disorder.  As the conversation proceeded, what I learned was that more than one person believed the label of Borderline Personality Disorder, which surprised me greatly.  Evidently, in the conversations between my new acquaintance and other family members they had apparently accepted opinion, as fact, without ever questioning the veracity, reasons, and justification for this accusation.  This seemed strange because, the person labeled BPD was a highly venerated and loved person.  It made me wonder how intelligent people suddenly accept such a report based without reasonable causes.

On the other hand, the person telling the story expressed honest concern and a personal frustration with personal interpretations of problems experienced.  While the story was expressed with such impassioned and convincing explanations, there seemed to be something more that looked like a personal agenda.  Apparently, the conclusion made was based upon a feeling of adequate knowledge about counseling practices and that symptoms described were consistent with Borderline Personality Disorder.  In fact, the person telling the story said, “It is Borderline”, referring to the person’s personal assessment.  The confusion came when I was listening and it seemed as if everything that was said might be a reasonable explanation.  However, there was nothing concrete to base the opinion upon except their personal speculation.

What I heard was a strong feeling of frustration that was labeled without a professional diagnosis   from someone personally involved being influenced by their own state of mind, personal issues, and a some need to discredit another person with innocuous charges.  Apparently, in the situation described there were some behavior anomalies not understood clearly and people who did not have the maturity or patience to think through reasonably.  As a result, family members talked about this freely amongst themselves and the person labeled, had a life-altering label hung over their head by people unwilling to engage in a healthy discussion with the person directly.  Therefore, the innuendo,  accusation, and labeling resulted in an unfounded characterization of the individual by people who had no expertise, no diagnostics, or professional advice. Consequently, impatience, intolerance, and difficulty with life experience resulted in people who were critical and unwilling to try to understand better so they just accepted an irrational opinion.

I walked away from the experience wondering how people who are constantly telling each other how much they love each other in public could behave in such a coercive way toward someone they publicly embraced in private.  My immediate observation was personal confusion because I did not see what I was being told as being real.  On the other hand, what I witnessed was systemic behaviors that demonstrated unhealthy ways of managing life.  In addition, what I saw people ready to easily dismiss a person by labeling them with an easy tag to explain away, invalidate, criticize, and destroy individual credibility on the altar of self-interest and selfish behavior.  Therefore, when self-interest disables people from being capable of understanding life events that might require them to think or reserve diagnosis for someone qualified what behaviors actually were indicating, the low road of self-interest chosen.  Reasonable people do sometimes do unreasonable things, but this made me wonder why the people involved in this story did not talk to the person individually and suggest a visit to a practitioner to gain better understanding?

An important question that I left the discussion with is what should be done when it appears a family member has unusual or strange behaviors that may be interpreted as Borderline Personality Disorder.  Obviously, the place to begin is not to make spurious, unfounded, or unprofessional accusations because others do odd things that irritate us personally.  What I learned from this situation was that the storyteller told me more information about their personal issues than they did about the other person.  Indeed, it is easy to project personal frustration about life on someone else, when we are overtaxed and feeling anxiety because life experiences do not meet our personal expectations.  In fact, what we usually dislike in others is what we most dislike about ourselves.  When things like this happen, something to consider is that transference may be at work and we are vicariously trying to resolve something that is out of kilter in our own life through fault finding in others.  It is a way of unconsciously saying there is something in my own life that I need fixed. So, when we suspect that Borderline Personality is an issue in someone that is a part of our lives what should be done?

A place to begin is to keep your suspicions to yourself and rely on professionals trained to diagnose, licensed to treat, and not personally involved.  This will provide quantitative data based information that correlates with evidence based-theory to inform.  Persons who are personally or emotionally involved with people who may have mental health issues should never take upon themselves to diagnose.  When casual inference or accusations are made, there is the danger of damaging a person or triggering a “acting in” incident that permanently damages a person or that can be fatal.  Information presently understood about Borderline Personality Disorder is that diagnosis is not a simple process, even from seasoned psychiatrists’ or therapists, because BPD is grouped within a cluster of personality disorders that are very similar in some ways.  For many Borderlines, a common misdiagnosis Borderline Personality Disorder occurs by associating symptoms of the BPD with Bi-Polar disorder.  Therefore, diagnosis requires in depth studies of symptoms and behaviors to determine whether they are a personality disorder or a metal heath condition that mimics symptoms that can be easily confused.  Therefore, diagnosing should not be performed by curious or interested parties, but should be left to people who are capable, ethical, and professional.  An important point to address is that people with mental health disorders, mood swings, or a family systems dysfunction are not bad people, they simply people who simply have a need for help in areas of deficiency in ways to improve health and functionality.  Also, consider this that personality disorders are not a personal flaw, but they are personality disorders.  Personality disorders have biological roots and demonstrate unique cognitive-behavioral patterns that devastate families, relationships, and life outcome; especially in family systems that label, minimize, criticize, and do not exercise patience and will not take time to understand.  Another important issue is that personality disorders are not a sign of weakness, it is not simply a reaction to a stressful time or event, it is a pattern of thinking, relating, and behaving that demonstrates symptomatic behaviors consistent with the particular disorder.  As a result, for those who seek treatment it is not uncommon for a therapist to see a patient for an extended period of time before making a formal diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder.  As a result, care should be exercised in labeling or diagnosing individuals without expertise.  When there is a personal involvement with the individual and we think they are having significant problems, diagnosis should be done by professionals who can offer objective observations.

The  DSM IV list the criteria for the most common presentation of  symptomatic patterns associated with a scientific criteria established through research about disorders.  Therefore the criteria establish a pattern to build a scientific metric to rate the level of the disorder for developing a treatment plan that is focused upon the individual and the level of the disorder. Therefore diagnosis of people should be done by professionals who use scientific data, research, and diagnostic criteria to assign a diagnostic code and create a plan for treatment. When there is a question, the appropriate response is to keep your opinions to yourself and seek the help of medical-psychological professionals who are equipped to provide healthy solutions.

People with Mental Health issues Can be Hazardous to Your own Mental Health and Functionality in Life.

Another reason for seeking a mental health professionals assistance is when we suspect there is a real problem that needs more than what we can give.  The truth is that no one lives in a vacuum and mental health has a systemic effect upon those whose lives intersect in relationships, family, or work.  Certainly, other people’s problems and behaviors do affect us in an organic ways within a social or family system.  A good example is that living in a family where there is ongoing, unmanaged, or untreated mental health problems makes you feel shame, like you are crazy, or trapped in a never ending cycle.  The example given in this article effectively damaged a family relationship because irresponsible and uninformed responses were acted upon with no concern for the effect and no responsibility was taken for the actions. The truth that stands out is that when people do not live and respond in healthy functional ways there is a systemic effect.  When we live with people with personality disorders or serious mental health issues, every individual is being affected by the process of what is happening every time live intersects.  Having an awareness of what is occurring does impact lived experience by disabling functionality that is essential to maintaining balanced, congenial ways of relating.  As a result, the storyteller and the collaboration others who made foolish and irresponsible comments without consideration resulted in a permanently damaged relationship matrix that severed ability for a functional way of engaging in healthy relationships.  The lesson that I walked away from the conversation with is that people need to think about the effect of irresponsible statements  before make assumptions about other people that can damage their lives. In addition, people who claim to understand mental health issues should be willing to take responsibility for their actions in an ethical way, should willing to acknowledge mistakes that cause damage to others, and not simply act as if the event never happened.

The fact is that Borderline Personalities do create havoc and make life very difficult.  If you have ever questioned someone’s behavior or mental health, then maybe you should consult a professional.  Maybe you are wondering if you are living or working with a person who may be a Narcissistic or a Borderline Personality; then here is some helpful advice from Dr Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD  who is qualified to speak about the disorder.

If you are convinced that a person you love has Borderline or Narcissistic personality traits, how does it affect you?

Censoring your thoughts and feelings.  You edit it yourself because you’re afraid of her reactions. Swallowing the lump in your throat and your hurt and anger is easier than dealing with another fight or hurt feelings.  In fact, you may have stuffed your own emotions for so long that you no longer know what you think or feel.  (This is a trait of both BPD and NPD).

Everything is your fault.  You’re blamed for everything that goes wrong in the relationship and in general, even if it has no basis in reality.  (This is a trait of both BPD and NPD).

Constant criticism.  She criticizes nearly everything you do and nothing is ever good enough. No matter how hard you try, there’s no pleasing her or, if you do, it’s few and far between.  (This is a trait of both BPD and NPD).

Control freak.  She engages in manipulative behaviors, even lying, in an effort to control you. (This is a trait of both BPD and NPD).

Dr Jekyll and Ms Hyde.  One moment she’s kind and loving; the next she’s flipping out on you.  She becomes so vicious, you wonder if she’s the same person.  The first time it happens, you write it off.  Now, it’s a regular pattern of behavior that induces feelings of depression, anxiety, helplessness, and/or despair within you.  (This is a trait of both BPD and NPD).

Invalidation–Your feelings don’t count.  Your needs and feelings, if you’re brave enough to express them, are ignored, ridiculed, minimized and/or dismissed. You’re told that you’re too demanding, that there’s something wrong with you and that you need to be in therapy. You’re denied the right to your feelings.  (This is a trait of both BPD and NPD although; BPDs are slightly more capable of empathy than NPDs).

Confusion–Questioning your own sanity.  You’ve begun to wonder if you’re crazy because she puts down your point of view and/or denies things she says or does.  If you actually confide these things to a friend or family member, they don’t believe you because she usually behaves herself around other people.  (This is a trait of both BPD and NPD).

Distorted reality “But I didn’t say that.  I didn’t do that.”  Sure you did. Well, you did in her highly distorted version of reality.  Her accusations run the gamut from infidelity to cruelty to being un-supportive (even when you’re the one paying all the bills) to repressing her and holding her back.  It’s usually bull, which leaves you feeling defensive and misunderstood.  (This is a trait of both BPD and NPD).

Isolating yourself from friends and family.  You distance yourself from your loved ones and colleagues because of her erratic behavior, moodiness and instability.  You make excuses for her inexcusable behaviors to others in an effort to convince yourself that it’s normal.  (This is a trait of both BPD and NPD).

Walking on landmines.  One misstep and you could set her off. Some people refer to this as “walking on eggshells,” but eggs emit only a dull crunch when you step on them. Setting off a landmine is a far more descriptive simile.  (This is a trait of both BPD and NPD).

All good or all bad–splitting She places you on a pedestal only to knock it out from under your feet.  You’re the greatest thing since sliced bread one minute and the next minute, you’re the devil incarnate.  (This is a BPD trait).

Absence of boundaries.  Borderlines and Narcissists make the rules; they break the rules and they change the rules at will.  Just when you think you’ve figured out how to give her what she wants, she changes her expectations and demands without warning.  This sets you up for failure in no-win situations, leaving you feeling helpless and trapped.  (This is a trait of both BPD and NPD).

Emotional Abuse–You’re a loser, but don’t leave me. “You’re a jerk. You’re a creep.  You’re a bastard.  I love you.  Don’t leave me.”  When you finally reach the point where you just can’t take it anymore, the tears, bargaining and threats begin.  She insists she really does love you. She can’t live without you.  She promises to change.  She promises it will get better, but things never change and they never get better.

Passive Aggressive Manipulation. When that doesn’t work, she blames you and anything and anyone else she can think of, never once taking responsibility for her own behaviors. She may even resort to threats.  She threatens that you’ll never see the kids again.  Or she threatens to bad mouth you to your friends and family.  Then you are an emotional hostage.  (This is a trait of both BPD and NPD).

http://shrink4men.wordpress.com/2009/01/21/relationships-with-borderline-narcissistic-personality-women/

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