Something learned here is that weather conditions or forecasts do not define reality inside of life; they only project conditions that as described by a point of view.  A critical issue about cold weather is not so much the temperature itself, but the sensations associated with cold –or how we feel about it.  Some people love cold weather, want to live in it, play in it, and work in it.  One reason that some people thrive in a particular climate is that they enjoy the conditions and feeling that it brings.  Thinking about this intuitively recalls the idea that there are beliefs that we have about life conditions that bring a perspective to life. If perspective is skewed by negative feelings attached to events, what is felt in the moment will distort perception about possibilities.  The result from a forecast that is felt in a given direction will influence the quality and quantity of accomplishment present and future events.

So often, it is neither the truth nor the facts about the future that motivate behaviors, it is how we feel about events and what we believe to be true –whether it is or is not true.  Apply this to presidential candidates: Whom do you feel like will be the nominee for the election process?  Most likely, your answer will reveal what you feel is true, an emotive process based on a believed precept, accepted to be true from the forecast that heard.  Then, it is true that felt perception influences beliefs predicting how behavior demonstrates in actions.  A good exercise in intuition is to ask; what does behavior say about t individual –core beliefs held to be true?

So, how did I get from weather to presidential politics?  It is not the forecast that is so important. It is what we feel to be true that determines held-beliefs about the information seen and heard about presidential candidates in 2012.  A truth contained here is that this can be a cold year or a warm year. However, a reality follows is that we can have success in the cold or it can be a warm and seasonal year of prosperity.  The difference is in how we feel about what we hear in the forecasts, how we feel about that, and what actions result.

Consider a biblical example. In the first chapter of Nehemiah, consider two different perspectives.  First, look at the perspective of the people who reported to him.  Their lived experience was pain, destruction, and ruin.  They saw the city in ruins; Nehemiah saw a city with potential to be great again.  The application comes like this; felt-experience does determine a point of view.  A perception that shows not only deeply felt belief, but also the important and powerful impact of how what we believe shapes response to life-events.

Nehemiah’s perspective reveals a point of view that communicates that even though there was a negative forecast causing grief, he made the choice to detached himself from the painful emotional consequences in order embrace potential in what could be by embracing a future beyond the forecast, beyond the pain, and beyond the distorted forecast painted by negative circumstances.  A point that well taken is that deeply held beliefs will shape reality into lived-experience today

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Yesterdays dreams may be filled with regrets, unfinished business, unpaid bills, or unfulfilled wishes.  This is readily witnessed in the current climate of the 21st century where much attention is directed toward the changing dynamics of American culture, politics, as well as personal issues, which have forced unwanted change upon life. With that in mind, I am reminded that attention directed to the future will be effective for those who are willing to embrace its potential and embrace hope in the unseen power that is possessed to build a path into a desirable future.  The direction that effectiveness will take is directly related to what you are willing to do about self.  Harry S. Truman said, “In reading the lives of great men, I found that the first victory they won was over themselves? self-discipline with all of them came first.”   Fulfilled dreams are not magical events or mystical feelings which are not grounded in reality, they are actions possessed by a forward attitude of determination committed to making a difference in each life,as well as, the larger world of people to make a meaningful difference.

For many,  instead of being a time of discipline focused toward a goal, the new year will be a time when morbid regret is focused upon diminished hope that results in trying to prop up the past, restore the past, or revive some idealized perspective that results from a life of constantly looking in the rear view mirror of life. One thing for sure is that life does not progress; while focus remains centered upon the unresolved, undone, or not finished business in the past. Indeed, the future belongs to those who are brave enough, willing enough, and strong enough to step with faith into a future that God alone knows and holds in His hand.

In the coming months, if the focus of life remains focused upon the lost hopes and dreams of an idealized American culture, economy, or social structure, then we may miss the opportunity to see a blossoming future where God does what only He can do through us in a world held hostage to hopelessness, isolation, and loneliness. It is a time that has been characterized by hopelessness where many remain discouraged. Solomon spoke about this attitude several thousand years ago and said, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. The value of these words resonate to the hopeful because while hope remains alive, we believe that a future is possible, that success is attainable, and goals are reachable. Indeed, it makes a difference what you believe about the future because– what you believe is what is most likely to happen right on time.

One of the things that is a pressing need today is to develop a discipline of hope among leaders that is grounded in a realistic look at what is ahead, a plan of action to arrive at a destination, and a way to keep accountable to the direction hope leads. Within this discipline, a challenge to possessing hope is in acceptance that hope is not just a feeling about life, about God, or something that is conjured up with positive affirming feelings. Rather, it is connected to a way of thinking that is rooted in faith in God, a firm belief in who God is, that He alone stands above– beyond– around– and ahead of every circumstance of life that we can encounter, and that He has a purpose to be fulfilled that brings meaning to existence.

Benjamin Disraeli said, “The secret of success is constancy of purpose.” Today, there is one thing that can motivate an attitude of belief that success is ahead is belief that there is design to what will occur.  That there is someone who is already there and knows the outcome every situation that will be faced in the days ahead.  Any hope that we can have today is not validated in a politician, a political process,  the economy, or other circumstances. Listen to the words of the psalmist David who said said, “What wait I for, my hope is in thee”. What are you waiting for and where is your hope today?

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Think about relationships that you have with significant people in your life, what is the first word that comes to mind?  Is the word a reaction to how you feel about relationship or a descriptor of how interaction occurs?  Something to consider is if significant others in your world would see your relationships in the same way.  If we are honest at this point, a reality is that everyone has problems at certain times in relationships and all families experience a certain level of dysfunction at times.  One of the reasons is that we are feeling/emotive people and sometimes our feelings are skewed by unbalanced responses to perceptions.  What results are unreasonable behaviors, conflict, and relationships that get out of balance.

The difficulty of finding reason when events are charged with overcharged emotional thoughts. 

Thinks about this: Is it reasonable to think that you can love someone and behave as you hate them at the same time.  It may not be, but this behavior characterizes relationships where people espouse love for the other person, while demonstrating toxic and damaging behaviors at the same time.  Couples who engage in extra-marital affairs do this quite frequently.  On the one hand there is a professed love that is held for the spouse, while a toxic behavior occurs toward the spouse, as well as, the relationship.  I think that everyone would agree that this constitutes an unhealthy and unbalanced relationship.  The idea that you can love one person and have loyalty to a clandestine relationship person at the same time is an emotive response that is overcharged with unbalanced thinking that is irrational.  In filial relationships, can I love someone while secretly harboring resentment toward them, holding on to unforgiveness while acting out passive- aggressive actions?  Quite often, people communicate that they are angry without ever saying it and what it reveals is an unbalanced way of relating when emotional conflicts occur.  What is abundantly clear is that relationships get unbalanced, but if individuals want to have reasonable ways in life to manage the unmanageable, it means having healthy boundaries and effective ways to manage the unmanageable problem of unbalanced emotional responses.

Crisis should bring people together and not keep them apart.

The holiday season is a time that many feelings come to the surface and individuals are often exposed to the possibility of facing conflicting emotions, while struggling with what to do–managing unbalanced relationship issues that result from very normal life issues.  Many who have lost a loved one deal with emptiness, grief over the loss, as well as feelings of isolation, which bring to the surface unrealized emotional expectations?  For others, the holidays bring issues to the surface, which has been placed, on hold in the file of unresolved issues and unanswered questions.  Others are facing reassignment from military duty, the effects of the economy, loss of jobs– homes, which bring to the surface the emotional pain that people are experiencing at this time of the year.

An emotional crisis is an opportunity to add positive value and resolution to relationships.

I remember a story that my dad used to tell about two brothers who had become angry at one another early on in life and had avoided each other, through most of life—both being unwilling to take a step toward reconciliation.  As the story goes, one of the brothers became deathly ill, was placed in the hospital—the other brother went to see him and because of the grave nature of the illness and the possibility of the brother dying, they agreed to bury the hatchet.  After talking and renewing the relationship, it was time to leave.  The brother who was sick, the patient in the hospital, said to departing brother; “by the way, if I live the feud is still on.”

Balancing relationships is about making the right choices for you.

The lived experience for many people is one fueled by conflicts that are unresolved and in fact, may never be solved.  Divorce, broken families, a family member in prison, poverty, child abuse, homelessness, and sickness are all deeply felt issues –the source of painful experiences that are a source for emotional conflict during the holiday season.  At a time of year when conflicting emotions are magnified by natural events, it is  a perfect time for imbalance to erupt or a time to balance something that feels out of balance by making a choice to act beyond the felt experience of hopelessness into hope that elevates life and those around us.  In a time of year when our thoughts should be centered around the birth of Christ and the peace that he can bring to life, many people’s experiences will focus around unbalanced relationships, what has been lost, or what is wrong with others and life.  The birth of Christ is not an event that is to separate people or to magnify failure; it is a time to magnify Christ who brings freedom from a life without balanced relationships.  Christ is a reminder that He gives us the opportunity, motive, and place to a be peacemaker.

An apparent truth about the birth of Christ to people at Christmas is that through relationships people can have the language right, the ritual right, but the reality is that our audio needs to match our video.  An important thing to consider is whether there is congruence in our inner life of the soul and the way we balance relationships.  Is what we are saying –experiencing on the inside having a significant impact upon the lived experience of life?  It is good sometimes to just be confessional and stop denying what we feel because pushing down emotions, conflicts, and unresolved pain only pushes issues to the surface when stress is placed upon life.  The act of denying the reality of an internal condition guarantees an undesirable future prospect of a plastic life that may be characterized by the appearance of functionality, but has the inner dialogue of pain, frustration, and unbalanced emotions that do influence life and relationships.

Exercising your options to make good choices starts with individual choice.

What is a person to do about the conflicting emotions and unbalanced relationships in life?  First, understand that there is only one person that you can change—the person that you see in the mirror each day.  Next, realize that it is not your responsibility to fix other people, change them, and you are not responsible for what others do or life they create.  Also, recognize that much of what people feel about disappointments in life stems from faulty expectations and misplaced trust.  Then, allowing people the grace to be who they are and work it out individually, releases others into God’s care to be who they are while still loving them– even though you may not agree.  Accepting others disappointing acts is not ratifying what has been done in a passive form of acceptance, it is allowing others to be free to choose what they do– placing responsibility for behaviors on the person making the choice.  Finally, say it, “I am not responsible, and it is not my fault”.

Is it possible to love someone and hate what they do, be in love with one person and maintain loyalty and admiration for others?  The answer depends upon you and how life is balanced within boundaries to manage the unmanageable things in life.  Remember, we are not responsible for what others choose to do and it is not your fault.  One of the sources of balance comes in how a person thinks about life.  For linear, black and white, everything fits in the box—literal, concrete thinkers, this will not compute because it requires thinking about life outside  of the box:  “most of the time your brain is involved in just one of three activities: distraction, reaction, or following well-worn pattern” (Tim Hurson). In the Bible it says, “As a man thinketh in his heart so is he”.  Are you following a well-worn pattern in life or are you interested in balancing how you feel about your relationships in life:  Change your thoughts and change your life.

If the feud is still on after the lights of the holidays are out, maybe it is time to consider changing how you think.

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In what we know about memory, our memories serve a purpose of enabling people to make sense of the past and incorporate it into the present experience of life.  This importance of memories according to Loftus (2003) explains that people are the sum of our memories: what we have thought, what we are told, and what we believe.  In addition, we are not only shaped by our memories, but existence is shaped by our personal experience.  Loftus argues that we “seem to reinvent our memories, and in doing so, we become the person of our own imagination”  (p. 872).

An important distinction made about the power of suggestion upon initial memory of an event and how memory that is manipulated impacts beliefs formed about events.  Information offered by Elizabeth Loftus in, Make-Believe Memories, advocates that memories are malleable and subject to distortion and suggestion.  The following observations about how memory is influenced through eyewitness accounts of crimes:

“Misinformation can influence people’s memories when they are in a suggestive fashion or when they talk to other people who give their version of events. Misinformation can sway people when they see biased media coverage about some event that they may have experienced themselves. This phenomenon would ultimately be called the misinformation effect [Loftus' italics]” (p. 868).

An apparent assumption about initial memory of an event is that it is influenced by suggestion and post-memory influences, but also by the weight of said influences upon the person holding the memory.  A good place to begin in an understanding what misinformation effect actually means.

A dictionary description of the misinformation effect given in the APA Dictionary of Psychology (2007) states, “a phenomenon in which a person mistakenly recalls misleading information that an experimenter has provided, instead of accurately recalling the correct information that has been presented earlier (VandenBos, 2007).  This theory often used in connection with eyewitness memory of events in the investigation procedure.  Loftus cites a cause and effect relationship between what is presented to witnesses to a crime responses to questions asked i.e., “Research on memory distortion has shown that post event suggestion can contaminate what a person remembers” (p. 867).  As a result, a fair assumption about recall of a crime or incident is that the further removed a witness is from the incident and the more times it is discussed the greater chance there is that misinformation effect jades original memories of the event and details.

The position of this article presents the opinion that memory can be distorted by interjecting information and by using techniques which may be misleading to distort original memory.  What can be learned is that misinformation exerts an influence upon what may have been sensed, experienced, and stored in the memory at the time of an event.  The inference is that memories can be altered or changed in intentional and unintentional ways i.e., “Misinformation can influence people’s memories when they are in a suggestive fashion or when they talk to other people who give their version of events”, as cited in (u04d2 Make-Believe Memories, 2010).  A rational conclusion suggests that changes in memories are connected to the suggestions made by the examiner and suggestibility of the person remembering the account.  As a result, an explanation of the misinformation effect contained within the statement made through: post event suggestion (Loftus, 2003) which alters original memory that is stored as suggestion, as well as exposure to other perspectives about the memory-event places influence upon perception.

One important factor in the process is described by Sternberg (2009), as encoding (p. 217). Based on this description, how a memory is encoded –one’s experience, conditions surrounding an event –factors contributing to retrieval, will affect acquisition of information: “the physical, sensory input into a kind of representation” (p. 217) which distorts original sensory input.  Therefore, the misinformation effect suggests that, “suggestion can lead to false memories being injected outright into the minds of people” (Loftus, 2003).

When questions are asked that are suggestive,  false memories are injected into the first impressions of the person being questioned.  Loftus (2003) reports, “that leading questions could contaminate or distort a witness’s memory … Related studies showed that memory could become skewed with various techniques that fed misinformation to unsuspecting individuals” (Make-believe memories).  This practice is associated with techniques which are used in police-witness interviews to a crime.  For example, “Three errors occurred universally: interrupting the witness, asking too many short-answer questions, and inappropriate sequencing of questions” (Fisher, 1995).  A conclusion can be made here that demonstrates that when rehearsal of the memory is interspersed with the injection of questions, interruptions, dialogue, and questions, the initial sensory perception will become adapted to misinformation that affects perception of the original occurrence.

It may seem on the surface that the misinformation effect presents a negative perspective of how memory can be manipulated and the impact upon a criminal investigation.   However, one application of this theory may be of value when applied to research, which could aid in better training for law enforcement professional when conducting witness interviews.  In addition, another application could be that when misinformation is used to correct distorted memories, it may hold properties of value, which present a therapeutic value.  Some examples could be in treatment with those who have experienced traumatic events that present with PTSD symptoms or anxiety related conditions.

Obviously, this article only scratches the surface and more needs to be written on such an important subject of interest.

References

Fisher, R. P. (1995). Interviewing victims and witnesses of a crime. Psychology, Public Policy,  Law [electronic version] , 1 (4), 732-764, http://web.ebscohost.com.library.capella.edu doi:10.1037/1076-8971.1.4.732.

Loftus, E. F. (2003, November). Make-believe memories. Journal of Experimental Psychology: Applied [electronic version] , 14 (3), pp. 255-265, http://web.ebscohost.com.library.capella.edu/ehost, doi: 10.1037/1076-898X.14.3.255.

Sternberg, R. J. (2009). Cognitive Psychology (5th Edition ed.). Belmont, California, USA: Wadsworth, Cenage Learning.

u04d2 Make-Believe Memories. (2010). Retrieved 5 2009, August , from Capella Universisty: http://courseroom2.capella.edu/

VandenBos, G. R. (Ed.). (2007). APA Dictionary of Psychology. Washington, DC, USA: American Psychological Association.

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Watching this video is a very sobering look at the way that what the memory provides to an individual in the everyday activities is taken for granted and that without a functioning memory there is no connection with the past, identity, and a conscious way of relating to the present activities of life or the future. A line from the film says it clearly, “I think it is a very dramatic illustration particularly for the public of what it is like to being without memory. For example, this constant feeling that he has just waken up or he has not tasted anything before” (The Anenburg Foundation, 2009). While the video, stimulated thoughts about the value of memory, there is also the thought about how many things could be different, if only some memories could be erased. However, a connection is implicit from the story that it is relative to every individual is and how functioning occurs in life within the environment.

One question which has already been discussed in previous posts in the connection between the brain and the mind. If consciousness and memory are functions of the brain, but also connected to the mind, then there is a relationship between the anatomical structure of the, how the mind operates, neurologically, function, and the wakening experience of awareness in behavior and response. The way that memory is encoded and retrieved forms an understanding of knowing, believing, and behaving. Sternberg (2009) says, “A memory is a mental experience taken to be veridical (truthful) representation from one’s past.  Memories can be false in relatively minor ways … and in major ways that can have profound implications for oneself and others” (p. 198).  In the case of Wearing’s condition, the damage to the brain through Encephalitis affected not only the encoding, but also the ability to recall because of the damage to the Hippo-campus. This raises another observation about the impact of chemical, biological affects to the brain, mind functioning.

It has been established that Teratogens, (Friedman J.M., 1999), affect development of the brain, and also how the introduction of disease destroys tissue, thus disabling explicit memory (Sternberg, 2009, p. 180) from engaging the mind in an experience of conscious recollection (p. 180). A question might be posed about the difference in the absence of explicit memory in contrast to implicit use of information (p. 180). This is discussed in the dialogue by Dr. Michael Oddy who stated, “We ask him if he would like the coffee … But it is all about current events, it is about the surroundings (The Anenburg Foundation, 2009). The events seem to suggest that there is not a reference to past experiences that could have been encoded and recalled, but rather knowing through cognition of present observations in the moment.

The traditional model of memory referred to by Sternberg (2009), in William James (1890-1970) theory of primary memory and secondary memory; then later Waugh and Norman, 1965 (p. 182) give explanation of the components and functions of the memory that are not in tact as a result of disease which destroyed brain tissue. However, the theories as presented, do not adequately offer explanation of ingrained skill or the, “four or five things, he will if questioned appropriately tell you about” (The Anenburg Foundation, 2009). In analysis, it seems evident that one working model of memory does not provide a complete picture without gaining insight from a Neuropsychology model that examines how dissociation of function, “to explain a link between a particular lesion or function” (Sternberg, 2009, p. 207). It seems that there is a correlational relationship to all of the activities, biology, physical structures, or trauma to the brain which in turn affects what happens in conscious awareness that is connected to how perception occurs, what is understood and believed, and what the experience of the life is in feeling and behavior.   How important is this to advancing understanding in the study of psychology?

It cannot be underscored enough that understanding what has been written and engaging with current and future research will build a bridge from the encoded memory that has been described by theorist to provide ongoing and enriched understanding of how the functioning of memory in the mind-brain relationship is enhanced by the value of ongoing research in Cognitive Affective Psychology.

                                                                                                                                           References

Friedman JM, a. J. (1999). Clinical Teratology: identifying teratogenic risks in humans. Retrieved October 21, 2009, from Capella Library: http://search.ebscohost.com.library.capella.edu, doi:10.1034/j.1399-0004.1999.560601.xJans,
Sternberg, R. J. (2009). Cognitive Psychology (5th Edition ed.). Belmont, California, USA: Wadsworth, Cenage Learning.
The Anenburg Foundation. (2009). Life without memory: The case of Clive Wearing, Part 1. Washington, DC: Annenberg Media, Learner.org., DC.

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What relationship or difference does the mind hold from the brain?

The question of mind, body, and brain interaction is a subject speculated upon, as well as, studied by philosophers, religious thinkers, medical researchers, and psychological researchers in an effort to find definitive answers. One of the places to begin looking for answers is to understand the difference between mind and matter.  A distinction between mind and matter stated “to be found in the fact that in man there is a mind which is absent in the rock.  The mind, they argue, controls that part of the individual which is mind” (Frost, 1945). This inference separates a man from all other creations and inanimate objects.

A distinction in difference between the mind, brain, and body is at the heart of the position held by Descartes.  This difference is referenced by Johnson, (1991) who poses a question about cognitive process and the impact upon the material and biological structural development (In the palaces of memory: How we build the worlds inside our heads). This question becomes important in understanding that a relationship exists between what goes on in the mind –thought processes and the physical development and structural changes in the brain tissue.  What is apparent through research that is currently available is that theories that support Cartesian Dualism, as well as Cognitive Neuroscience do influence modern assumptions about the science of Cognitive and Affective Psychology in the development of a theory of mind-brain interaction.

The argument for the mind-brain problem, attributed to Descartes, is a subject which has been debated by philosophers who predated his work.  Examination of what is believed in Cartesian Dualism reveals the essential core teaching that is characteristic of, “Plato (c. 428-347 B.C.)  [who] was a dualist who divided the human being in his dualist theory into material body and immaterial soul” (Mind-BodyTheories, 2006).   A number of important issues that are contained in dualism, which are important to understanding how philosophy delineates the arguments presented.

One presupposition is, “the body is a hindrance to the soul in the acquisition of knowledge and, as a rationalist, he abandoned the body and the senses for the activity of the soul capable of accounting for absolute being” (Mind-BodyTheories, 2006).  Inherent within this position an ontological influence is reflected that essentially regards the mind, soul, as a metaphysical property that is contained in the concept of mind, thoughts rational ability, and cognition. The basis of the mind-brain body dualism is that, “the body is a hindrance to the soul in the acquisition of knowledge and, as a rationalist; … [Plato] abandoned the body and the senses for the activity of the soul capable of accounting for absolute being (Mind-BodyTheories, 2006).

This approach lends itself naturally to a “rational/deductive science over the empirical/inductive approach “ (Elsevier’s Dictionary of Psychological Theories).  This essential framework of thinking has a substantive connection to Descartes who, “proposed that matter (body) is ‘extended substance’ and that the soul (mind) is ‘unextended substance’” (Mind-BodyTheories).  According to this view, the atoms or constituent parts that make up the mind are existent in the universe and are joined to form the mind. A way of explaining this by philosophers is in the term, interactionism, that is, “the theory that mind and body are separate realities that mutually influence each other” (Hunnex, 1986). This way of explaining the brain-mind differs from contemporary approaches in that it describes the mind in terms of what it is as opposed to what it does.

A contrast to this approach is found in the theoretical propositions of Cognitive Neuroscience which uses a scientific approach to what the brain-mind-body processes include. This is noted in the Concise Corsini Encyclopedia of Psychology and Behavioral Science (2004) where Cognitive neuroscience is described as “The study of the neural basis of cognition … that depends heavily on the use of modern imaging technologies such as positron emission tomography and functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI)” (Neuroscience, 2004).  One the significant differences in the approach of the psychologist—scientist and the philosopher-dualist is the assumptions that frame the epistemology for Neuroscience.

Cognitive science is based in the same logic which the theory of evolution follows. The rationale is to weight the biological and physical interactions as precursors of theory as opposed to metaphysical theory.  This is evident in early theorist in psychology, such as Freud looked at what the mind did in the unconscious more as a “flow than a ‘place”’ (Unconscious, 1995) .  His work in the latter part of the nineteenth century was a byproduct of what was understood in neurology and physiology.  This is illustrated in his theory about the “reflexive arc … the involuntary jerk of the leg when the knee is struck … tension builds up and needs to be released, and this release is an involuntary action” (Unconscious, 1995).

However in contrast, understanding the complex symbolism in psychoanalytical approaches and literature analogies placed upon the subconscious, repression, and consciousness that are presented by Freud seem to bear a resemblance in approach to Cartesian Dualism.  A question which arises is whether there is a metaphysical distinction-separation of the mind-brain, body or is there a tension that occurs in the narrative of the subconscious—with slips, lapses, and knee jerk reactions that alleviate the primal tension between what is perceived or repressed in the way the mind-brain and body function?  Answers that are contained in the science of Cognitive, Affective Psychology that answer questions related to the mind-brain issue by mapping understanding through Localization of Function (Sternberg, 2009,2006, p. 34).

Looking at the brain and identifying which schematic zones affect activity associated with behaviors or abilities enhances understanding of how the brain controls the activity in the body.  According to Sternberg (2009), “the fundamental structures and processes of the brain … [are] the nervous system … divided into two main parts: the central nervous system, consisting of the brain, spinal cord, and the peripheral nervous system” (p. 71).  The relativity of how brain topography, organic construction, and systemic interaction is related to intelligence, aptitude, learning,  behavior, feeling, personality, memory, and physical motor activity are important to establishing a correlation between brain activity and phenomena occurring in human existence.

A truth abundantly clear is there is a relationship that is molecular, physical, and related to development and experience in brain function.  This is attested to in explanations of how behaviors connect to those individuals with injury to the head and brain which demonstrate that a correlation exists between brain functioning and perceptions in the experience of the individual.  This is noted by Sternberg (2009) who demonstrates how, “Damage resulting from head injuries can include spastic movements, difficulty swallowing, slurring of speech among many other cognitive problems” (p. 70).  An observation inferred is that influence on the neurological, psychological, vision, motor skills, etc. directly affects how the tissue and cells of react to trauma.  This experience and phenomena establishes a correlation between tissue, biology, experience, and how changes relate to the experience, as well as, the functions of the brain, mind, and body.

What relationship do the disciplines of science, theology, and philosophy have to gain from one another?

Summing it up reminds me that this is a developing science and while there may be substantive answers, the fact remains that there is more that we do not know than what we do know.  Within the theory of Cartesian Dualism and modern views about how mind-brain-body interactions occurs, what is apparent is that epistemology seems to dominate the research that has been done in the past and it seems that there still needs to be a greater understanding of the relationship between the brain-mind connection.  What is apparent to this writer is a need to demythologize the process of understanding and place appropriate value upon spiritual and religious understanding while allowing science, research, and benefits from theoretical study to posit value to the field of psychology bringing greater understanding of the mind-brain conundrum.  Consequently, I know that the polemics will rise up in arms to protect the ideals that are held, but my suggestion is that we defend high ideals to advance the truth and not to inhibit, scientific, theological, or spiritual input into such a complex subject.

Frost, S. (1945). The Basic Teachings of the Great Philosophers. Philadelphia, PA, USA: Garden City Publishing.

Hunnex, M. D. (1986). Chronological and thematic charts of philosophies and pholosphers. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan House.

Johnson, G. (1991). In the palaces of memory: How we build the worlds inside our heads. New York: Random House.

Mind-BodyTheories. (2006). Elsevier’s Dictionary of Psychological Theories. Retrieved July 24, 2010, from Capella University Library: MIND-BODY THEORIES. (2006). In Els http://www.credoreference.com.library.capella.edu/entry/estpsyctheory/mind_body_theories

Neuroscience, C. (2004). Cognitive Neuroscience. Retrieved July 17, 2010, from Capella Univertsity Library: Cognitive Neuroscience. (2004). In The Concise Corsini Encyclopedia of Psychology and Behavior http://www.credoreference.com.library.capella.edu/entry/wileypsych/cognitive_neuroscience

Sternberg, R. J. (2009,2006). Cognitive Psychology (5th Edition ed.). Belmont, California, USA: Wadsworth, Cenage Learning.

Unconscious. (1995). In Critical Terms for Literary Study. Retrieved July 18, 2101, from Capella University Library: Retrieved from http://www.credoreference.com.library.capella.edu/entry/uchicagols/unconscious

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¹”Men ought to know that from nothing else but the brain comes joys, delights, laughter and sports, and sorrows, griefs, despondency and lamentations.” From the F. Adams translation of The Genuine Works of Hippocrates.

Francis Crick, Nobel prize laureate in physiology and medicine, in his book, The Astonishing Hypothesis: The Scientific Search for the Soul, borrows an idea from Hippocrates¹ and uses it to argue that “You, your joys and your sorrows, your memories and your ambitions, your sense of personal identity and free will, are in fact no more than the behavior of a vast assembly of nerve cells and their associated molecules” (Crick, 1995, p. 3).

Philosopher and cognitive neuroscientist, Alva Noë, in response to Crick’s statement, argues that the most striking thing about Crick’s hypothesis is that is not astonishing at all:

. . . [W]hat needs to be kept clearly in focus is that the neuroscientists, in updating the traditional conception of ourselves [we are our brains], have really only   succeeded in replacing one mystery with another.  At present, we have no better understanding of how ‘a vast assembly of nerve cells and their associated molecules’ might give rise to consciousness than we understand how supernatural soul stuff might do the trick.  Which is just to say that the you-are-your-brain idea is not so much a working hypothesis as it is the placeholder for one (p. 6).

Is consciousness just a mass of cells that forms a placeholder in time and space for humanity or is consciousness the manifestation of a process of events and relationships, which includes an understanding of waking human life as something to be considered beyond what, can be measured in a lived experience that suggests the existence of the soul as a mystery yet to be understood?

In response to a very difficult question that cuts across every period of history an observation can be made that religion is man’s search for God, philosopher’s debate over a search for reality, and psychology is man’s search for self understanding. The etymology of the term soul from the Greek word, psuche –psuche is the word that defined as, “breath … the breath of life … that in which there is life … a living being, a living soul … the soul the soul as an essence which differs from the body and is not dissolved by death (distinguished from other parts of the body)” (Thayer).

In Christian tradition, this has been the basis for understanding the essence of life from a non-scientific, metaphysical view.  In this approach of philosophy the process of rational inductive reasoning is applied to explaining a view of the soul. Plato…identified the soul with the person who reasons, decides, and acts … person or soul is not the familiar creature of flesh and blood but rather the incorporeal occupant and director of, even the prisoner in, that corporeal being  (soul, 2002).  Historically, emphasis is put upon the material and immaterial and are assumptions which bear upon Cartesian Dualism. It is interesting that there is a relationship between beliefs within Christian thought, philosophical assumptions, and the scientific approach of psychological theory.  Contemporary thought, questions, and dilemmas have produced the quest for understanding within developing psychological research that presents an attempt to synthesize views of the past into a current understanding.  This is most evident in the writings of Freud, Jung, Maslow—Rogers, to the current time who in an attempt to provide substantive answers about what consciousness is and how it influences a greater understanding of human life, behavior, feelings, and thought processes.

A beginning point is at a contemporary definition of consciousness which, “includes both the feeling of awareness, some of which may be under the focus of attention”, as cited in (Sternberg, 2009, p. 125).  A definition, such as this, provides an understanding of what a person may be aware of, but also necessitates that consciousness is distinct from attention in that, “information proceeds without conscious awareness” (p. 125).  However, understanding what a person may be aware of and what he/she is not consciously links two processes together to form an important connection to personality, behavior, and focuses attention upon the unconscious’ influence upon what happens in the brain-mind-body transaction.  A conclusion that can is evident here is that researchers will fall short in understanding by drawing premature conclusions concerning consciousness and unconsciousness without first embarking upon a thorough understanding of  information available from multi-disciplinary approaches to understanding Cognitive Behavioral Psychology.

With that in mind here, a reasonable conclusion to begin with is that what we know is simply not enough to declare an end to research and understanding.  What is apparent is that more information is needed to explain unconscious processes in the relationship to life as whole.  An important point is that these processes are, “harder to study simply because you are not conscious of them” (p. 124).  However, a salient point which can be noted is that significant advances have been made in understanding through continuing research, such as the, “development of … the positron emission tomography (PET) scan—for mapping the brain [and] neuropsychology … [which] has been an outgrowth of this contemporary focus on biological explanations of human thought and behavior” (psychology, 2008).  While it may seem to some that the debate has been settled by science, philosophy, or theology; an apparent fact is that the debate about consciousness has not ended, and may never.

What is interesting in this discussion is that the matter of the soul-consciousness relationship becomes a matter of interest when connected to certain themes in life: in matters of significance, meaning, purpose, and as death.  What can be observed in responses to research as a closed-system is that faulty assumptions arise out of the point of view of the researcher.  This is noted by Gary Collins (1998) who says, “When Freud wrote about religion, he predicted that interest in spiritual things would fade as people as people embraced science” (Collins, 1998).  Apparently, Freud was mistaken about religion and spiritual interest in matters of the soul and consciousness.  A truth that stands out here is that if there is one definitive proof that the question is not settled, it is the experience of humanity in the desperate search for answers.  A point of clarification that resonates in the information available is that there is a pressing need to understand what theorists, philosophers, scientists, and theologians have said and identify areas that need fuller research.  An apparent point that is clear is that what has already been said is not adequate to mediate the questions of science, while at the same time be able to bridge the gap between birth, death, and the uncertainty of what we know about waking life and the consciousness of human life.

If this is a subject that interests you leave a response and let me know what you think and if you would like to hear more about this subject.

References

Collins, G. R. (1998). The soul search: a spiritual journey to authentic intimacy with God. Nashville, Tennessee, USA: Thomas Nelson.

Crick, F. (1995). The astonishing hypothesis: the scientific search for the soul. New York, New York, USA: Simon and Schuster.

psychology. (2008). In The Columbia Encyclopedia. Retrieved August 1, 2010, from Capella Library: psychology. (2008). In Th Retrieved from http://www.credoreference.com.library.capella.edu/entry/columency/psychology

soul. (2002). In A Dictionary of Philosophy, Macmillan. Retrieved August 1, 2010, from Capella Library: Retrieved from http://www.credoreference.com.library.capella.edu/entry/macdphil/soul

Sternberg, R. J. (2009). Cognitive Psychology (5th Edition ed.). Belmont, California, USA: Wadsworth, Cenage Learning.

Thayer, S. a. (n.d.). Greek Lexicon entry for Psuche. Retrieved Aug 1, 2010, from The New Testament Greek Lexicon: http://www.studylight.org/lex/grk/view.cgi?number=5590

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Good Guilt v. Bad Guilt

Developmentally, guilt is an emotional warning sign that most people learn through their normal childhood social development.  Its purpose is to let us know when we have done something wrong—to keep life balanced.  Good guilt operates to help us develop a better understanding about personal behavior– how it affects others, as well as ourselves.  Healthy expressions of guilt, prompts individuals to re-examine behavior to prevent making the same mistake twice.  An examination of the pathology of unresolved guilt reveals negative, paralyzing emotions, based on non-acceptance of oneself or the situation.  Unfortunately, it leads to depression and frustration rather than change or improvement.  Guilt is normally a negative focus upon oneself saying, “I am an evil person.  I cannot bear myself.  I am unworthy.”

Internalized Guilt brings Externalized Behavior

I think that it is true that the things that we hate about others and that we criticize so passionately, is connected to what we hate about ourselves.  Behavior hidden so well beneath misdirected concern shared with confidants, family, friends that infers someones perceived wrongdoing may be someone projecting their own secretive behaviors, guilt onto another.  Unfortunately, many of the things that we feel are so offensive– that we speak so loudly, passionately, so convincingly about point back to self-perception embedded in the guilt system.  Indeed, the power of guilt to subconsciously influence perception, beliefs, and behavioral development should not be underestimated, nor ignored.  For instance, in a perfect world of a developing infant, doing, something “bad” is equivalent to murdering all that is good.  As the child develops with a lived-experience of shame, performance based acceptance, and guilt ridden feelings, the inability to dispel the gnawing sense of guilt results in the child owning misunderstood feelings about guilt and he/she enters an “adult– normal society.”  In the adult world, the normal is distorted by the abnormal thinking from development filtered by a perception of life that skewed by feelings of guilt, low self-esteem, and projection.  What happens: the guilt that has been internalized, misunderstood, and unresolved is externalized in projecting behavior toward others when something is seen that feels like the internalized guilt. Then, undigested guilt triggers the guilt-projection system that regurgitates what feels like concern, righteousness, rescuing behavior upon others calling attention to what is hidden beneath the surface– unresolved guilt that wants to be discovered.

Psychological Projection Criticism and Conversations with Guilty People

When I listen to people’s conversations, it sounds like there is something not being said, but is implied.  For instance, I remember an incident where a person whose husband had helped me with a situation and the wife who just wanted to give the pretense of being helpful and said, “I am afraid that your are going to take advantage of my husband”  Another event shared with me where, a concerned relative called suggesting that a family acquaintance was having secret sexual relations before marriage and that somebody needed to do something to stop this bad behavior.   As a pastor I have had those who felt duty bound to inform me about how certain people are living and taking advantage of their leadership positions and using others.  What is common to all of these conversations is that they are people who represent themselves as crusaders of right, justice, and truth is that they are guilt-ridden people who try to guilt others into conformity. I often think about this activity as the subtle work of Satan.  In the book of Revelation Satan is depicted as the one who slanders the innocent and in reality is the one who is guilty. A critical question that surfaces about this kind of accusative behavior is  motivation.  What causes this to happen?  It may be that what is said is right and the persons in question is really a “bad” or “mean” and that someone needs to intervene.  However, the essential question is why do some people see things that are really, not there and spread unsubstantiated criticism that disrupts relationships and slanders others?  One answer may be that some people have a need to rescue others from what they believe is “bad behavior” to direct others attention to what is occurring because their is an effort to fix something that is very wrong in their own life. … Neurotic Guilt.

Why does one person believe they are doing right  by making someone else guilty– warning, judging, evaluating, devaluing, and invalidating the other persons?

The Voice of Guilt is Saying What?

When a person engages in this kind of destructive inference crusading to gain support from others, what is the core issue in the accusation? According to Sigmund Freud, it may be projection, which is a psychological defense mechanism whereby one “projects” one’s own undesirable thoughts, motivations, desires, and feelings onto someone else.  Projection is one of the defense mechanisms identified by Freud that is used when someone feels threatened or feels afraid of their own impulses– so they attribute these impulses to someone else.  What is apparent among people who make it their life’s mission to constantly criticize without sound reasoning and responsible approaches to relationships with others is that the critic has an unresolved problem. It is guilt– the feeling– that comes to the surface when a trigger activates the recognition of a feeling associated with a past behavior— “a been there done that experience.”  It may be important to realize that recurring critical activity is calling attention to unresolved feelings and behaviors that are being attributed to someone else.

The Blame Game and What is Really Being Said

Throughout the history of the human race it is well documented that people have been struggling with guilt while denying responsibility.  The Bible records the story of creation when, Adam and Eve sinned; then, made leaves to cover up while knowing what they had done wrong.  Obviously, they did not want to take responsibility for what had happened. Therefore, the response of Eve was to pass the blame on, “it is the serpent that caused the evil act. “  The response of Adam was that it is the woman that you gave me Lord.  Guilt makes people project cover up because they are ashamed and understand that something is wrong and needs fixed.  Guilt makes people accuse because drawing attention to someone else’s behavior deflects attention away from the guilty party, the fear of being exposed,  and projects judgment  for guilt upon someone else. Projecting guilt in criticism is a way of verbalizing how deeply perceptions of right and wrong— good and bad affects feelings of personal well being and security.  If you have guilt, can you live effectively and experience well-being in the experience of life?  Something to think about is that as long as attention is focused on what is wrong, what is hidden, energy cannot be focused upon what is possible or what can make life effective, nor can you be happy.

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Which Books are You Reading?

Albert Mohler (2010) said, “As the period of emerging adulthood grows longer, young people are becoming more alienated spiritually.”  Mohler’s statement raises questions about what is occurring in 21^st century within beliefs about spirituality. It is apparent that there is a significant departure from the views held by evangelical Christians who have had a predominate voice in shaping opinions in earlier generations. A good question to ask is who or what is influencing the views of this emergent generation and will evangelical Christian maintain their ability to influence this generation?

For social theorists this might be a developmental stage of an evolving culture.  If they are correct what can be understood about the process and what is important to understand? Within the discipline of psychology, there is a principle taught in life–stage theory that every period of life has an identity crisis and skill development must occur that enables a successful transition to  face the responsibilities of the next period of existence.   The theory purports that there is a natural development process that contributes to being able to engage with life and have efficacious responses in the challenges that are a part of the experience of life.  This an interesting analogy to make about how culture is developing, but what is the result of the process?

The results are portrayed in a fundamental gap between generations and that the distinctive beliefs of the past have not been articulated in a way that demonstrates a connection between what has been believed about matters of faith, morality, and God and what is believed now.  One of the questions may be have we advanced as a culture in the view about spirituality? Consider the views of the past generation about spirituality.  Is the earlier better informed than the present?  If so, has the view of the past informed, equipped, the present generation with the essential skills to enter a new time, face different responsibilities-challenges?

Could it be that Spirituality in America is in need of family systems therapy?

Apparently there are perceptions about spirituality today suggests a noticeable departure from traditionally held views of spirituality to a changing perspective. Ed Stetzer (2011) says, “This generation is open to God and spirituality. When asked if they considered themselves to be spiritual, 73 percent of respondents age 20-29 answered affirmatively” (Stetzer).  In response, a question that may not be addressed adequately in literature today is what impact does how the last period–generation approached spirituality have upon the present understanding of spirituality?  What is apparent is that there is a clear disconnect from traditionally held views.  Has a rebellious child of the 60’s 70’s or 80’s been raised and is misbehaving and we don’t like what is happening?

The statistics cited by Stetzer (2001) indicates that the respondents are indeed open to God and have a belief that they are spiritual, which essentially is not different than previous generations, but in retrospect, what does it really mean?

One assumption is that because there is openness and the basic belief about personal spirituality that there is motivation to understand life in spiritual terms and indeed someone—something is defining what spirituality means.  Sometimes I hear people referring to culture as an evil force – a collective consciousness that is leading people away from or at odds with another point of view. However, culture is better understood as “The totality of socially transmitted behavior patterns, arts, beliefs, institutions, and all other products of human work and thought” (Free Dictionary) which describes culture as a defining force in a point of view. Therefore, there are culturally implicit beliefs, behaviors, and values characterizing the way differing generations, groups, races, and religions internalize information and externalize behaviors. As Stetzer (2011) describes this generation, it is not a generalization about all modern culture, but an indication of a group perspective.

A caution about generalizing statistics that needs to be understood is that popular surveys are not scientifically validated and some research that is offered–used to infer conclusions–may not be accurately applied.  An example of this is how people often say that “we live in a Christian nation” which reflects the point of view that historically may be valid, but unfortunately is not a fair nor accurate collective representation of America. Therefore, a larger question that needs to be understood which moves beyond what popular beliefs are is where do the respondents, 20-29 year olds,  get their point of view and what influences within this cultural group impact the perceptions reported, and what conclusions can be inferred about what spiritual communication will engage this emergent generation?

A fundamental question posited here is can this generation be engaged in a discussion about spirituality and motivated to respond without others understanding what prompts what millennial’s value and believe?

Understanding what the behavior means and what is shaping the values of 20-29 year olds is not interesting or appealing to many people. However, a challenge for traditional– modern Americans is to accept that multi-culturalism is shaping the view of people.  If  there is going to be meaningful engagement of the emerging peoples, groups, and cultures, it means that understanding what is driving the point of view, what are the assumptions, and how competence can be developed that enables an understanding outside of self which is motivated by an interest in connecting generations that are disconnected and can benefit from what the other brings to the process.

It is an easy thing to generalize and for adults to look at small children and expect them to understand and behave as an adult.  It is also easy for children to look at their parents and think they are really not very informed and disregard what may be simply not understood.  Unfortunately, in the milieu of cafeteria-style spirituality, the absence of a distinctive clarifying voice  that is having a significant impact upon culture, there is a danger present of morally and spiritually bankrupting the core values in modern culture.

Keywords: Spirituality, Culture, Sociology, Multi-culturalism, Generations, Millennial, Perspective, Perception, Beliefs, Consciousness, Behaviors, Generalizing, Statistics, Research, Communication, an Cultural- Identity.

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The impact of abandonment, isolation, invalidation, and rejection brings a feeling that surfaces unexplainable and perplexing behaviors and contributes to an attachment pattern that is secure or insecure—reactive or maladaptive.  Quite often, when we see children or adults that demonstrate perplexing behaviors — that we may not understand, there is something not seen. Unseen forces are at work creating a ricocheting pattern of emotional responses– events in life that bring a wave of peculiar behaviors that affect every area of life now and everything happening in the future. While some people may believe that their actions are independent and well thought out, the truth is that what is happening in life is inextricably connected to the experience of attachment and the concurrent developmental process.

Attachment and development are important to understand in how children develop, but when a child is subjected to factors that negatively affect normal progression, such as emotional abuse, healthy and normal development is altered.  The impact of the environment upon a child are well noted in studies, but when there are multiple themes of abandonment, rejection, and invalidation; it is an unnatural occurrence that changes the outcome of development.  A problem that many people are faced with is a lack of understanding about how episodes or solitary events are related to behaviors and events in life.  A simplistic way this can be illustrated is that life is an organic event where everything has an effect in a systemic way upon development.  As a result, the emotional quotient of all of the things that happen throughout life have an unrealized connection to how the lived experience of a child unfolds into adult life.

What happens to children when adults do not take time to think about how their behavior affects children?  One week in the life of a child can have an effect for the rest of life.  The father goes out of town and a family friend comes to visit taking her and the children for a nice ride in his new car.  It seemed innocent enough at the time — they go to a drive in restaurant and everyone got an ice cream cone.  While they sat in the car, the little boy noticed the mother was sitting close to the family friend and laying her head on his shoulder.  It seemed like such a nice time that when the father came back after being away, the child says, “Guess what we did while you were gone?” and proceeded to tell the story about what had happened.  However, what happened next was not pleasant:  the mother was in a chair in the center of the room being interrogated –in an angry dispute over what happened.  The child not knowing what to do was afraid, not understand what had happened.  Not knowing what to do, the child goes outside and faces another adult crisis. The neighbor next door heard the screaming and asked the child if everything was all right and the child is forced to cover for mom and dad.  The child said everything was fine and the neighbor went away and he stayed outside until it stopped.  Nothing was ever discussed and by the next Sunday, everyone went church as if nothing had happened, but the events are not forgotten. Obviously, these events have meaning to everyone involved, but what message is conveyed to the child and how does this affect relationships and the child’s development of future behaviors?

The answer is very complicated, but what happens throughout life and connects to everything else in life.  Individuals always have a reason for acting as they do, behaving as they do and while it may not be clear to us at the movement, all behaviors are a product of systems at work..  One of the problems with behavioral issues is that a casual examination of what a person does—just seeing behavior– does not provide clear answers to why something is happening.  For most people, unless they are in a crisis or unless it serves a personal need,  time will not be taken to ask why,  the behavior is judged on the merit of what is seen and branded with a label like “good ‘or “bad” behavior.

What seemed like a fun day for a child turned into a lifetime of problems in relationships?  After, telling what happened and  seeing the mother’s pain, the father’s anger, and trying to avoid and mange conflict—the interpretation of the child is that somehow this is his fault.  For a child who is not mature enough to make sense of what happened, the result is emotionally damaging be cause the event is internalized with guilt, fear, and a feeling of responsibility for things that adults are doing without considering what effect is being placed upon the child.  The child sees this a a personal failure and interprets the event and interprets this from “if should” reasoning.  If I had done this, it would not have happened—I should have kept this a secret.  Children think in terms of “black and white” concrete operational thinking (Jean Piaget).  In simple terms, it means the child felt responsibility for what happened in the family on that day and accepted ownership for the emotional consequences of what happened.  What a horrible thing for a child to have to own—responsibility, guilt, inferiority, shame, and rejection because adults did not think beyond their immediate needs and chose not to act responsibly.  For a child, events like this are emotionally damaging and leave scars of the developing child which lead to a reflection of self and others that continues throughout life until they are understood.

While adults may not understand the effect of what they do or why act in certain ways, everything that happens in life is related to perception in the lived-experience of a developing child.  Adult issues with depression, self-esteem, identity issues, relationships, perfectionism, as well as numerous other issues are related to attachment, socialization, and development as a child.  A problem is that many people do not figure these things out until life is turned upside down and life falls apart.  The importance of this cannot be understated for the developing child.  A child is faced with enormous pressures upon life and when something goes wrong and development is scarred by emotional abuse, the child gets a life sentence.   Erick Erickson said that developing children faces a social identity crisis in every period of growth that will have an impact upon how a child feels about self, acceptance in social settings, and the ways the child will interact with his world.  Consequently, the developing child needs a clear sense of who they are and how they fit in the world, where they belong, as well as, being equipped to develop the necessary skills to engaged with life in a healthy way.

A good question for adults to ask is: How a normal development ever equip the child with the ability to manage a complex adult issue of sex, marital fidelity, and emotional– physical abuse?  The answer is clear, there is nothing that could prepare a child to live in or manage these conditions: because it is an unnatural development.  The scars created by intentional or unintentional emotional abuse predicts what will come in the future —a lifetime of guilt, perfectionism, feeling rejected, and emotionally abandoned.

What Can Be Learned From The Aftermath?

This story calls attention to the importance of what happens in childhood development, the cognitive map that is formed, and behavioral cues that indicate that something has happened that needs to be understood.  In addition, when some people look at life diagnostically, they are looking for someone to blame for their pain, behaviors, or life experience.  Blame, unforgiveness, and anger are not an effective approach, they only deepen the pathology of abuse and not bring solutions that are going to contribute to an effective life.  For those desiring an effective life– what will be of importance is not someone to blame, but understanding why behaviors occur as it does.

Obviously, many individuals cannot find the destination to healthy living — taking the appropriate steps toward changing life, until a road-map is seen.  Thinking about the past is painful at times and you may not want to air all of your dirty laundry in public, but the fact remains that connecting events from childhood events, pain rejection, or abandonment, draws a picture that puts events, feelings, and behavior in a context to be understood.

Be Careful About Casting Your Pearls Before The Swine.

One of the problems with adult behavior is that when we share with others, not capable of understanding, a common experience is that invalidation, criticism, and more misunderstanding occurs.  As a result, because we do not like that feeling, then we hide, deny, and cover up what is felt and deepen the pain in the act of denial. Unfortunately, you cannot hide from yourself for long and when you shove your feelings down for so long, they come out in health, relationship, and life problems.  The pathology becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and it will predict how relationships will occur and perpetuate the very thing that you hate the most and want to change.  When you are willing to accept responsibility for yourself and quit listening to the negative programming from abuse, maybe, you will realize that today is good day to accept what you feel and start acting instead of reacting to life.  Life will never be perfect, but life will be what you make it today, so enjoy the opportunity that you have in your hand today. “Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning” (Albert Einstein).

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