Category Archives: Cognitive Psychology

March 9, 2013 · 6:48 pm

Boundaries: If Your an Enabler, Don’t Cry When You Get Bit.


Aesop’s Fables records a story called the, “The Farmer and the Snake” that illustrates why boundaries are important to understand how to live life without rescuing people who may no be capable of rescue.

ONE WINTER a Farmer found a Snake stiff and frozen with cold. He had compassion on it, and taking it up, placed it in his bosom. The Snake was quickly revived by the warmth, and resuming its natural instincts, bit its benefactor, inflicting on him a mortal wound. “Oh,” cried the Farmer with his last breath, “I am rightly served for pitying a scoundrel.”

The greatest kindness will not bind the ungrateful [ self focused individuals].

A lesson to be learned here is that creating boundaries in life to regulate relationships and behaviors is a way to manage how much danger, pain, and dysfunction that you are going to experience in life.  We have boundaries at work, in business, on the highway, and even in the park, but somehow people believe that in relationships  everyone will always make the right decisions without clarifying the terms of relationship.

How Do We Get Into No-Win Situations Becoming an Enabler?

It may be hard to face, but enabling says something about the enabler that needs to be understood. People who are enablers think they are helping someone else when in reality they are creating a disability support system. It is magical thinking — a way of romanticizing life with the idealism that that denies the reality reality of  destructive patterns of behavior, irresponsibility, guilt, pain etc. The enabling parent, husband, wife-believes that somehow through these vicarious acts of rescuing and enabling that it will magically make it better.  It is like when a mother picks up her child and kisses the owee’ and magically all the pain disappears. It is a thinking problem that gets us into no-win situations.  In the core thought processes of the enabler there is a fundamental belief that this kind of thing happens to other people, but not to us– I am not like that–  believe the best about people, my family could not do anything like that. This attitude –thinking pattern– creates naivete’ about relationships that exposes your backside to the sharp teeth of the dog named fate –and when it happens, it is painful.

What Do Dogs Do in an Ideal World?

Like snakes ,when dogs are not kept on a leash and when there is not a understanding of how relationships will occur with individuals to regulate what can occur, it is an opportunity for disaster to happen naturally.  — and they do.  The problem with enablers is that they don’t believe ,snakes bite that dogs bark or pee on the corner of the sofa.  After all, they say, “my dog went to obedience school and knows better, he is a dog of high breeding.”  In an ideal world where people are perfectly balanced and have no dysfunction, family system problems, unresolved conflicts, or emotional baggage, people do not need to be on a leash, but we all know that snakes and dogs will always be true to their nature, no matter how pretty they are –too bad that life does not occur in a ideal world.

Translated by George Fyler Townsend. Aesop’s Fables (p. 19). Amazon Digital Services, Inc.

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March 7, 2013 · 12:54 am

Forgiveness Consequences and Consequences of Evil Acts


Forgiveness-and-Consequences-300x204

What response is appropriate when trust in violated repeatedly by someone who does you wrong, violates your personal boundaries, and continually act in ways that consume your life emotionally, physically, and financially?  The obvious answer for many people is to run away and put as much distance between you and the offender as possible.  However, when an effort is made to manage others behavior, it can be a slippery slope.  It is like the old saying, “it takes two to Tango”.  Indeed assessing blame and taking responsibility for perceived unjust or unethical behavior  can turn on the accuser because everyone sees life events through a unique perspective.  Obviously, it is easier to blame others or appear to be what someone else has done instead of accepting responsibility for personal involvement and participation in a conflict situation that has produced actions, feelings, and outcome.

Looking at forgiveness from a purely religious or theological perspective leaves people with distorted ideas about responsibility for actions that violate another person’s rights, or that defrauds another person willfully of benefit.  Many people think that you are supposed to get “holy amnesia” when you are wronged by someone and if you are really spiritual that you will act as if nothing ever happened.  As a result, when some people look at the idea of forgiveness through a theological construction, often emphasis is placed upon unconditional forgiveness. In fact, unconditional forgiveness ideally removes responsibility for actions, absolves guilt, removes consequences, and restores relationships. However, when it comes to the subject of forgiveness an important issue to consider is that human beings are emotional beings subject to human limitations and are not God.  Unfortunately many people who have been deeply hurt by others are further damaged by guilt and manipulation of idealist who may not understand fully that there is more to forgiveness than holy amnesia.  Consequently, when it comes to forgiveness many people apply the doctrine of redemption and forgiveness that is provide by God upon human experiences as if it is normal to act just as God does while living as a finite human being. Unfortunately, for many people feeling the hurt and pain of broken relationships the pain doesn’t get any better when religious notions are used to bruise the offended further. Think about this: if the central emphasis is placed upon benefit for the sinner, relief for the offender, and not upon the effects of behavior on the way relationships have become tangled, there can be little growth without a healthy process that addresses the consequences for the act of offense.

In a simplistic, view of forgiveness is a need for relief from any sense of guilt from actions and vindication, i.e., relief from emotional, social, and, personal for wrongdoing.  In a theological understanding penalty is  removed and sinners escape eternal separation from God, as well as the benefit of relationship in the present.  However, the theological definition is not a very practical way to apply to how forgiveness between people occurs who are the product of a fallen nature, an developing spiritual capacity, and who experience systemic relational problems.  Obviously, individuals with a diminished developmental difficulty lack a God-like ability to negotiate healthy balance between forgiveness and responsibility.  Therefore, when many people think of forgiveness they are equating it with to the doctrine of absolution from Roman Catholic Theology, where the priest mystically removed the penalty for wrong acts. Consequently, when the discussion about forgiveness is raised, movement away from a simplistic view of people who live by shoulds and should nots will be enhanced when we realize that people must go through a process toward forgiveness that is not instant “holy amnesia”.

One way to think about this is that there is a fundamental difference between forgiveness and removal of cumulative consequences. Indeed, it is true that Jesus died on the Cross-as a substitution for the sins of those who place faith in Him.  However, does that mean that all of the consequence or sin and sins are removed at the cross in every area of life?  Some people believe the answer is yes, but the answer is an emphatic no.  For instance, the thief on the cross still died for his crimes, while he was forgiven of his sins. Therefore, a principle that needs to be understood is that consequences in the human life remain even when there is full forgiveness.  Something to consider is that many people see forgiveness as a relief from responsibility for behavior. Obviously, escapist thinking under girds many beliefs that people have about forgiveness from bad behavior.  One place this is evident is in the majority of prayers prayed by people that focus upon God relieving or delivering from individuals from consequences in life instead of changing the person by providing ability to bear up under consequences and remaining faithful in circumstances.  Somehow, some people have come to believe that when they are forgiven of wrongdoing they will no longer have to live under the conditions that bring consequences from choices made or face responsibility for consequences. Unfortunately, the fact remains that unethical, unjust behavior influence, levels of trust, communication, and relationship dynamics that affect everything in life.

There is no doubt that common sense tells us that when something horrendous occurs to a person emotionally, psychologically, or personally devastates life, it will not be relieved with a simple “I’m sorry”. In fact, something is out of balance with thinking that forgiveness equates an words of contrition, or acting like something did not happen. Obviously, it is like believing the words, “I am sorry” will remap the cells of brain, change thought patterns, modify behaviors in way that minimizes, erases responsibility and eradicates consequences.  Further, this point of view is prevalent among those in the church and is expressed through an attitude that places greater emphasis upon acceptance of wrongdoers than it does upon the spiritual, social, and eternal consequences of evil acts. Obviously, all actions have consequences and as much as individuals may want to ignore them, pretend they don’t exist, or mystically wish them away, there is an ongoing impact on life. As a result, what can be learned from church history is the point of view that minimizes responsibility from wrongdoing is called, Antinomianism.

This perspective presented a problem recorded in the book of Roman where Paul asked a question directed at responsibility for actions, “What shall we say then, shall we continue in sin that grace may abound”.  Consequently, rational people know that when there are evil acts, there is not a freedom from responsibility, but a challenge to accept responsibility that leads to a change in behavior in a responsible manner.

Apparently, some people believed that the more they sinned, the more grace was magnified as a principle of forgiveness and acceptance —more grace is evident and available.  Unfortunately, this is how many people view responsibility for their wrongdoing: the more they are forgiven, the less sensitivity that is felt about the grave nature of injustice to others.  For example, this is particularly evident in how passionately criminals rationalize the crimes against others when they find Jesus. Indeed, there is a feeling of need for relief through redemption and absolution in forgiveness.

However,   there is a visible absence of remorse, acts of restitution, or change of attitude about crimes committed against victims.  Those who are most passionate about forgiveness and who advocate acceptance, restoration, and vindication are those who have the greatest guilt and sin. What needs to be understood is that Jesus died on the cross for Sin to give a remedy for sin.  Sin is a legal term expressed in John 3:17, Romans 8:1, as condemnation, which means eternal punishment, separation from God.  The forgiveness that Jesus offers, in His work on the cross, is to provide a way to experience a changed life, not to escape the consequences of actions.  In the theological concept, forgiveness is about changing behavior and redeeming the consequences through building a life of trust and faith. On the other hand, naive acceptance without accountability reinforces the potential for evil to thrive and prosper.

One of the problems is that forgiveness is applied by using a utilitarian philosophy of forgiveness rooted in hedonism. The pleasure principle advocates that the greatest outcome in life is on the least path of resistance.  In other words, the way that brings the greatest pleasure in life. Utilitarian’s advocate the principle of greatest good and is the best for everyone concerned.

However, the question remains unanswered about how is the greatest good or best is determined?  Usually the good is in human terms, socially, from group input from sociocultural norms and mores’, not from a universal or rational truth.  Unfortunately, Utilitarian forgiveness is not very effective at helping people change behaviors or protecting people from harm, and restoring trust.

In this case, forgiveness carries with it toleration and means that there are no universal understanding of consequences for morally wrong behaviors.  Therefore, illegal activities and potentially damaging behavior deconstructs all normal boundaries for behavioral expectations and normal expectations about responsibility.  Therefore, when people become so desensitized to consequences of evil that the effect is no longer felt, the result is an inadequate view of forgiveness and responsibility.  As a result, when there is a fundamental belief that there is forgiveness for sin and there are no consequences, spiritual change or personal growth does not occur as a life principle.  Behavior adapts to wrongdoing creating no accountability and the system dynamic makes the abnormal the normal.  Consequently, forgiveness should demonstrate change in the forgiven not reinforce a potential to act in evil ways without accountability. Consequently, forgiveness should mean that, I am changing how I feel and how I believe, so life can move forward in a healthy productive way.

A cultural challenge to forgiveness in the 21st century is that within Utilitarian thought there is never really any possibility of right or wrong.  Obviously, this belief is connected to a relativistic view of culture that removes all moral implications of sin or wrongdoing and no absolutes.  Therefore, the view is that nothing is really ever wrong, so forgiveness is just a psychological transaction where feelings are purged creating emotional catharsis and acceptance.  However, novel that may seem to modern people, this thinking does little for the person who has been violated and who has memories encoded with trauma after an experience creating Post-Traumatic Stress.

Forgiveness is an internal process that sets the forgiving person free from bitterness and internalizing of pain in self-destructive ways. However, contrary to popular thought, forgiveness does not mean the offender is free from the consequences of their actions.  The news report about Usama bin Laden being killed is a sober reminder that evil actions have consequences that will stalk a person and exact a penalty sooner or later through consequence in life and after death.  Obviously, we live in a time when universal truth has been rejected and been replaced with a view that makes all actions relative to the person. Consequently, the reality of 21st century sophistry is no moral right and wrong, but only what is relative to a person or a group.

Another point of view presented in Psalm 37 says,” Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity.  For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb”.  Indeed what will happen is that a every person will fall into the hands of a just God who has reminded us that there are consequence for evil acts of violence.  Therefore, the message that resounds is the pain we feel for unjust acts in this life is only a token of the eternal reward for injustice from evil acts in this life.  Something to think about is that a point of view that may not be popular, but is a eternal reality is that God will have the last word on every act and consequence of evil behavior.

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February 23, 2013 · 1:23 pm

Happiness: Living on the Street called Choice


HappinessA question often asked by people who are having problems says something like this, “When am I ever going be to be happy”? 
An underlying factor within the question is the level of dissatisfaction felt about life experience.  Another that issue associated with concerns about future happiness is a feeling of entitlement precedes the way individuals view the outcome of life.  A way to understand expectations about future happiness in life events is energized with a core belief that happiness is the capstone that describes a problem-free life.  Therefore, the normal, natural question about challenges is whether happiness is a real possibility to be attained.  A fundamental problem with a question like this is that it looks ahead to an unknown time and looks at life experience with a particular ideal world where happiness just happens. Obviously, the answer never comes for some individuals because of a lack of clear understanding of what happiness describes or what conditions must be met to create the “state” that some people describe as happiness.  As a result, a common explanation of happiness utilizes language intertwined with feelings about circumstances in life.  For instance, some descriptions of happiness are interpreted to mean removing all anxiety or other life disturbances standing in the way of an optimum state of euphoria achieved through a pain-free existence.  Therefore, happiness built upon an idealism of reducing life expectation to a simple no pain, resistance, or other difficulty formula holds the probability of great disappointment and lingering question, “When am I ever going be to be happy”?

So what is happiness anyway?

A place to begin is with a dictionary definition, which associates happiness as an emotion of joy, gladness, satisfaction, and well-being.  Since the dictionary defines it in terms of emotion, many people may conclude that when there is the absence of those life affirming emotions mentioned that happiness is not a reality.  Apparently, somehow meaning is attached to happiness that translates into an absence of pain or difficulty.  If you are a philosopher or study the field of Ethics, you will quickly identify this definition as consistent with ideas drawn from the philosophy of Hedonism, which describes the pleasure principle as the central motif of making life work in a way to reduce pain, discomfort, and difficulty for the “greatest good” as an outcome rationale.  Applying this philosophy of life affirms the idea that when people are happy life is experienced with the least amount of difficulty, pain, or unpleasantness within life experience. Obviously, this sounds good in principle, but it is a very simplistic way to view a very complex subject that leaves the questions of people with less than positive life experience with a lack of hope that happiness can be realized.

We usually seek success in order to find happiness.

One of the fallacies in looking at happiness because of circumstances is that it constructs happiness from feelings of success or performance outcome.  However, much of life is lived on a street that has noisy neighbors, sick children, grass to mow, snow to shovel, and storms that come and go.  The result is that life is full of experiences that may not have an outcome that feels like success.  A relevant point relates to how well-being and satisfaction incorporates into a life filled with experience that evokes negative emotional responses.  Unfortunately, what is missing from the dictionary definition is a comprehensive understanding of common happiness that everyone can have no matter what life brings. In reference to this, Dr. Marla Gottschalk states that:

How we “digest” our life experiences, both negative and positive, can be instrumental in influencing levels of happiness.  As Achor explains, reported happiness cannot always be fully explained by life events themselves –it is how we view those life events that prove to be pivotal.  Many of us have a tendency to become focused upon negative information and events (possibly an evolutionary necessity).  As a result, we may under-represent our successes and fail to draw energy from them. On some level, we give up our power to be happy – by resting its fate entirely in the external world – when in fact, our “internal script” can be quite influential. Shorter-lived emotions can contribute to a broader “affect”, or tendency to feel either positive or negative. (What is happiness then? (Positive Psychology and Happiness at Work).

Happiness precedes success in the way thoughts are constructed in the mind

Happiness is a way of thinking about life that uses an organized way of mental cognition that incorporates using “pathways thinking” to create momentum in the activity of life.  Unfortunately, the notion that experiencing a particular life outcome will create happiness is conceptually flawed because this perspective lacks a consistent and measurable inference.  For instance, placing two individuals in an exact set of circumstances does not indicate that happiness will occur sequentially or is predictable.  In fact, the level of well-being felt will depend more on the way individuals think about events than the events alone.  Obviously, two people can have the same experience and value the experience in different ways.  On the other hand, another way to look at happiness is that happiness is consistent with thinking constructs, which introduces quantitative and qualitative factors into the life that individuals experience.

Think about the meaning of the word, “life”

A simple definition of life is, “the animate existence or period of animate existence of an individual” (Dictionary.com). 

For many people life is just an existence or a human organic experience of conscious awareness with a sort of organic fatalism that reduces life to what we have in our genes and DNA.  However, life is much more than an organic existence of matter over a set period of time.  Life is an activity which describes a corresponding state, existence, or principle of existence conceived of as belonging to the soul” (Dictionary.com) as both quality of life and quantity of time in existence.  An idea expressed in the words of Jesus that connects a meaning to life that delineates a way of thinking about life that predicts outcome in life says, “I have come to give life; and life more abundant” (John 10:10 KJV).

Textual evidence from grammar interprets life as “zōḗ – life (physical and spiritual).  … it always (only) comes from and is sustained by God’s self-existent life”.  In addition, life is modified in the use of an adjective abundant … “perissós (an adjective), properly all-around …  beyond what is anticipated, exceeding expectation”, which describes a life lived with a view of life characterized by (well-being and satisfaction=happiness).  Another related word that adds meaning to the way Christians think about happiness spoken of in the Psalms is, “blessedness”, which describes a state of being in a Christian life that orders the thoughts around a spiritual view of life that is grounded in a reflective relationship with God.  Also, “blessedness” informs existence with an aptitude, a view toward life, informing the way behavior occurs in life. An important point to make is that in the Beatitudes, (Matthew 5:ff.) happiness is not associated with the removal of pain or the absence of challenging experiences, but rather, with a changed perspective.  In fact, the idea is that optimum happiness results from life being viewed through certain definable attitudes understood about life from God’s perspective.

Thinking patterns discipline the mind to create happiness and pathways for life

Later in the Bible, The apostle Paul wrote about the activity of the mind.  He said, “every thought should be brought into captive obedience to Christ.”  The message of I Corinthians resonates the principle that ineffective ways of thinking must be superseded with organizing the thoughts around a perspective of life dominated by a positive Christian mindset.  The idea is present in the text that suggests that vain ways of thinking result in spiritual captivity to false ideas about life.  So, when life does not experience the well-being that individuals feel entitled to experience in the circumstances of life, what response should be given?  Peter said, “Gird up the loins of your mind” (1 Peter 1:13).  Strengthen the mental outlook is the central message of Peter to those facing persecution.  Obviously, there is a mental motif prescribed: When life is falling apart and does not give you the measure of success that is expected, quit fighting the circumstances to find happiness.  The point is to reorganize thinking around hope that will create new pathways, ways of thinking about life.  The consistent and compelling message about happiness is not the absence of challenging, heart-wrenching events.  The application is the message about the way thoughts are organized with a view toward life.  The application is about how inner strengths of character are identified through hope and how happiness develops a pathway to effective living. As a result, happiness will not be achieved through technological development, possession of things, or vain expectation: it is achieved through inner development of the person.

Common ideas about happiness are found in a belief that if a person takes up a hobby like wood carving, playing golf, or other activities that the unhappiness can be distracted denied, and delegitimized.  However, while distraction from pain or unhappiness may minimize the symptoms of unhappiness in life, it will not change a point of view about life.  The truth is that you can never remove unhappy events in life by replacing challenges with the innocuous placebo of pleasure.  One craving only leads to another, which leads to another reinforcing a life of pursuing pleasure to numb the pain felt about unhappiness in life circumstances.

What is the road to happiness?

The answer rests in altering ineffective thinking by cleaning up the clutter about how we organize thoughts about life.  Happiness does not guarantee that life will never face difficulty.  On the other hand, happiness changes how individual think about difficulty and what they will do when challenging moments come.  The road to happiness is joined to an inward journey of the development of the mind, spirit, and soul-life.  Indeed, spiritual life cannot be isolated in a detached metaphysical experience of escape from pain, from difficulty, or performance of duty.  The matter of importance is that happiness is rooted in a way of thinking toward life.  Therefore, the road to happiness is understanding, which leads to positive life-affirming ways of thinking reflectively about life.

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February 16, 2013 · 9:10 pm

Point of View: How Perspective Influences Cultural Trends and Communication


Railroad tracks

A Narrow and Vanishing Perspective

I only have one opinion so it is the only one I can give.  I know that sounds narrow minded and resistant, but isn’t that really what it boils down to with everyone?  However, the problem with opinion is that many time opinions are irrelevant in an atmosphere of constant change of culture and communication technology.  As a result, one of the challenges in modern world is to understand the speed that culture is changing right before our eyes and how the communication of ideas is in constant state of flux.  Therefore,  on the high speed information network, the challenge reinforces a constant need to adapt to changing constructs and to understand that there may be an inhibited ability to comprehend the rate that information passing before our eyes is  feeding a blurred generational and cultural myopia.  In a world  where a narrow perspective is vanishing, some people may ask: Does any generation have an absolute truth or a point of view that is constant, timeless, and irrefutable through all of time, generations, and cultures to balance information contained in the communication of ideas?  Obviously, while there are differences about the answer, the ideas that many people hold as timeless principles of truth seems to be quickly vanishing in the milieu of ideas and being edited within the context of modern culture. A strong point of consideration about information and communication in a world that is technology bound is the strong evidence to suggest that the happenings of culture today are affecting, not only what subjects are relevant to the times, but how communication occurs in the 21st century.

In recent blog post Ed Stetzer (2011) cited Adlai Stevenson who stated, ‘”That which seems the height of absurdity in one generation often becomes the height of wisdom in another.’ He did not have a particularly high view of the next generation, but he does challenge us to consider the radical changes in thinking that are sometimes seen between generations” (Stetzer).   The apparent point to be understood is that every generation has a perspective that shapes contemporary beliefs— what is deemed important—values that form a perspective about level of importance of certain ideas.  In addition, it is not just the message of communication and values that is important, it is the fact that methods of communicating from the past are vanishing and being replaced on the super highway of technology. Consequently, what is apparent from an understanding cultural transformation in the 21st century is that a present cultural perspective is shaping point of view and validating the principle that both the vehicle and the message in every generation creates a shift in how people in a given generation arrive at a destination that they believe is truth and in a vehicle that the present generation creates its own mind-set.

Just as people from different cultures, races, and people groups think differently about important issues, generations are cultural subgroups of the macrocosm of human existence.  It is evident that each  thinks differently about matters of  believed to be of importance.  However, remember that successive generations hold a different point of view that is emerging and is relevant to the time.  Therefore while people may disagree, different perspectives are worth taking time to consider. It is said that one thing common to every generation is how the collective perspective is internalized. Ed Stetzer  (2011)  cited George Orwell’s perspective, which states that “Each generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it and wiser than the one that comes after it” (Stetzer).  Someone from a past generation may ask: Are current generations really more intelligent or are earlier generations wiser?  Obviously, the answer depends on perspective – what it looks like from where you are standing or pontificating.

What perspectives are influencing the way life is understood in the 21st century?

The perspective, the unique way life is understood today, is a sociological and cultural phenomenon. For those who want to deny reality and continue to ignore what is shaping the point of view of the emergent culture of the 21st century only creates frustration and disconnection, which does not offer any substantive answers or a reasonable framework to understand reasoning behind current ideals.

Ideologues and philosophers offer suggestion about what is occurring, but unfortunately understanding ideals and philosophy alone will not provide efficacy that creates effective communication. Ideals, are generally moral ideas or mores’ based on certain group identification that create expectations about how people should think or act. Philosophical assumptions are the ways that beliefs are rationalized into reason.  Thus forming, the informational content of perspective. Values or axiology has more to do with what is deeply felt, importance, passion, and motivation that affect beliefs. For example, the   felt importance of something believed to be true.  When tension deposited in life experience that conflicts with values, it results in conflicting ideas about importance that creates a  disconnect between perceptions and experienced reality.

The question is formed: Who/what is right how can the way values are felt be rationalized with experience that does not match a reality believed?  Unfortunately, I find myself at odds with most idealist and the emphasis upon what should be and find myself focused upon what emerging culture is saying. As a point of reference something that needs to be understood is how to  connect perception to reality.  Consequently, the constant flow of information  redefines the importance of what seems logical in one generation as information is disseminated and absorbed into successive generations.  Therefore, there is a tension that exists in the message and mode of communication that results in aberrations in what is felt about the information, which places the greatest emphasis upon perspective.

Obviously, anyone can give an opinion about what is wrong with something.  However, knowing what is wrong is not the critical issue in communication of solutions that are workable.  One perspective that some people have is to write people off who look different, think different, and have a differing perspective.  Another point of view is to embrace the culture and learn the language, thinking, and mindset of the 21st century.  Seeing someone else’s perspective is not whitewashing culture or moralizing behaviors, it is asking why do people do that in the way they do and understanding if the desire is to connect, communicate, and build meaningful relationships that we need to understand more than what we know.

With the increasing isolation of people and the desire to have relationships, there is a tremendous opportunity to step outside a solitary opinion and understand people as part of a culture that thinks different than we do.  The opportunity demonstrates a tremendous potential, if we will take time to understand how perception formation is impacting beliefs and governs the content and methods of communication in the 21st century.

Point of View Perspective Beliefs God Theology Church Traditions Statistics Surveys Theory Demographics Communication Context Relationships Unchurched Christian Universalism Philosophy Vision Mission Outcome.

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January 27, 2013 · 3:25 am

Being Who God Created You to Be: Seeing Life from God’s Perspective


PerceptionPerspective: The Human Conundrum that Results in a Belief that  You are Right about What You Believe and Rationalizes an Outcome to Match the Belief.

Perspective is the way that you look at the world around you and the belief that you have formed about things outside of yourself, that results in behavior that are consistent to your beliefs.  It really doesn’t serve a good purpose to get lost in trying to explain right and wrong beliefs at this point.  On the other hand, it is important to think about whether intuition and sensor impressions are a sound or fair representation in comparison to God’s perspective about life events or what they   mean.  Quite often, our immediate response to what is happening  to you is a focus upon the experience, felt responses, and an interpretation of meaning from a finite, limited perspective.  Consequently, what happens is you form a point of view that is very personal and involves humanistic processes that are unique to your personality, mood, disposition, emotional state, health, age, and factors related to your experience of life?  The impact of belief formulation, as well as, the effect upon the storyline of life forms a perception deeply connected to you as an individual person.  As a result, behaviors surface in ways that coincide with perception formed into beliefs.  Therefore, a self-fulfilling prophecy develops along with a sincere belief that behaviors resulting from beliefs are consistent with a certainty that you are correct, even when reason suggests otherwise.

It is entirely possible to create an outcome in life by the perceptions believed to be true by acting on them.  This is possible because when we believe, value, and act in accordance with beliefs; we organize life in such a way to support the beliefs held.  This activity makes perfect sense to you and results in living that is consistent with a sincerely held belief.  Did you know that even born again Christians suffer from distorted perceptions about life, others behavior, or events because they believe they are right?  People who live in a social system or work within a organizational culture are impacted by their native environment, which enables a cultural perception that produces behaviors that conform to beliefs within a culture .  In many cases, a person can sincerely be wrong, conform, and behave in ways that support a life of beliefs built upon the misinformation effect of distorted cultural norms, group-think etc.  In the spiritual life this happens because the perceiver has not experienced a life changing spiritual transformation through the Spirit of God illuminating the mind, perceptions, and beliefs that separates them from erroneous that characterize the human existence .  Consequently, whether right or wrong, behaviors turn into a belief rationalized as correct, even though they may be irrational or bring the desired outcome.

At this place of belief, what seems right, looks right, or feels right may not be right because the belief is validated by human limitations, sociological rationale, or life experience that does not consider a larger perspective.  As a result, this pattern usually goes on until a life-altering experience turns life upside down.  Then, perceptions become convoluted confusion that takes perception through a sifting process of pain that unravels faulty beliefs and expectations.  The result is that in the process, we will get bitter or better.  Scott Peck, who wrote Further Along the Road Less Traveled (1993) said, that there are two kinds of suffering in life, neurotic, which leads to mental health issues or therapeutic (Scott Peck).  The first causes mental health issues,  physical problems and an inability to cope with life with unresolved beliefs. The later causes a person to look at life from a new perspective and define suffering in terms of healing rather than pathology to create a pathway to life in the future.

The Way You See Your Life Shapes Your Life into What You Really Believe is True.

Unfortunately, many Christians are carbon copies of the culture and people around them.  Life is the by-product is misled perceptions about life with a focus upon of conformity to a fixed set of norms, rules, or expectations, instead of a life of unique significance.  In our spiritual walk, God leads believers to a life of reflection, awareness, and development through His sufficient and efficient grace.  His goal is to empower the life of becoming His unique creation.  The challenge comes when human beings try to live with insurmountable odds each day without a clear understanding of God’s perspective about the purpose of life.  The tendency is to surrender to the programming that faulty beliefs are creating.  An outcome from this thinking sets in motion the effort to control things or events to bring an expected outcome.  As a result, you cannot fit life experiences into the beliefs held, which results in frustration.  Therefore, confusion sets in and you do not understand how to make sense of experiences that violate core beliefs.  Because we have a need to feel like there is an answer for everything, a solution for everything that happens, or a magical spiritual escape for everything; we jump through spiritual hoops to create an outcome.  The efforts are to construct a picture of experience that matches the cognitive map in your mind.  When the discovery comes that belief spun into reality, you come face to face with a conundrum.  Therefore, you adjust behavior to align with beliefs that shape existence to conform with an invalid belief, which leads to failure and further disappointment.  Because, it is what we believe should be true; then circumstances, others, and events are supposed to align with a mind map built out of the personal beliefs embedded in thought patterns.  The problem comes when life shaped by faulty beliefs meets resistance, uncontrollable circumstances, and reality spins out of control.  Then, you are faced with the question about what happens next and how can you make sense out of life?

A major disconnect with the outcome is whether a person trusts in a sovereign God or a sovereign belief, sovereign expectation, or sovereignoutcome.  When you listen to what people say in a crisis there will be a constant reference to I, me, or an expectation that personal beliefs held equals absolute truth, reality, and control over circumstances.  Therefore, a good question you can ask is how to put in perspective that holds a high view of God?

 Beliefs Centered in Human Expectation Put into Perspective.

Think about this statement: Is God really in control of everything?

Character develops and is revealed by tests; therefore, all of life is a test.  We can only trust with confidence a Lord who controls everything.  If He is unable to use wickedness to further, His plan, then evil remains free from His rule, and we could never be sure of His final victory.  Some say God only foresees human decisions without ordaining them, but Scripture never teaches this.  Moreover, if the Lord only looks into a future in which He has not ordained all things, then there are “chance” events to come that He will have had no control over.  How then is He God in any meaningful way?  How, then, can He prevent those events He finds undesirable?

If the Lord is sovereign over all things, then every wicked event is in His plan, not because He loves evil, but because He wants to work through and against the sin to achieve a worthy end.  Knowing that God does this enables us to fight the good fight of faith and stand against the forces of darkness.  Nothing they do to us is outside of the Lord’s will, and so they can never derail His good plan for us.  (R.C. Sproul http://www.ligonier.org/learn/devotionals/why-sovereignty-matters/ )

Something that needs consideration is that faulty beliefs will lead to an unmet expectation, a faulty outcome, and a disillusioned person.  Unfortunately, many of the beliefs often held and espoused by Christians are myths that support an  inadequate view of God, as well as, a deficient understanding of what God is doing in the midst of evil, disappointment, and unmet expectation.  The result leads to rationalizations, efforts to explain, because the core beliefs in the mind are spun into a reality to create a mythology that is really believed.  The real question is not about a God who is out of control or the will of a man that is in control.  However, the greater question is how belief has shaped a reality so readily embraced because it matches a feeling or belief of entitlement centered in your life expectation.  Consequently, a focus upon I, along with humanly shaped expectations, results in the way life works that is detached from a mind transformed by the Spirit of God.

Listen to the Apostle Paul about How Beliefs are Transformed:

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.  Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect” (Romans 12:2 New Living Translation)

No matter what you may believe, God is always at work and challenges you to realize that He is in always in control.  Indeed, it is most difficult, when you look into the casket of your child, a loved one, or a wife.  It is difficult to understand that God is in control because every belief, feeling, and emotion within feels like control is lost.  In that moment, belief is shattered on the ground like mirror that once reflected what life looked like. Like a cloud in the wind, perception that has shaped our expectations and beliefs about how life looks through our eyes is suddenly gone.  It is not until we shift our view to God’s perspective of life that beliefs that are shaped by the human eye are redefined with a trust that no matter what happens or how deep the hurt, that a sovereign God of love is still in control and we can trust Him infinitely with every detail of life.

Seeing Things from God’s Perspective Means Shifting Trust from What we See and Experience to Confidence in the Lord.

“Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God” ( Psalms 20:7, NIV).

An important power that operates in a shift away from  trust in what we see, perceive, and  feel to Trust in the name of the Lord our God  is the work of the Spirit of God, which causes a transformation that moves you from simply believing to knowing.  Transformation changes beliefs from our perspective to God’s point of view.  Spiritual transformation is a long and sometimes hard process, which strips away faulty beliefs and  recognizes a life spiritually formed through the purpose of God in our existence.  A spiritual trust is formed when you begin to see life from His perspective, the more God gives, the more responsibility He expects in life experience.

An affirmation that you can walk away with is that all of life is both a test and a trust.  In fact, believers are always tested.  However, in the test, habituated obedience reduces the stress experienced in the test because obedience comes from a view of the test that has experience with how God has worked out of His character to transform an understanding of His nature and who He created us to be.

An application from a life of transformational beliefs brings to mind the way God transforms you into being the person He created you to be.  Count on the fact that you will be tested and God wants you to pass the test because of the great love He has for His children.  When we begin to view life from God’s perspective there is the reminder that God has entrusted us with something that He values and treasures enough to provide the sacrificial redemption of the Savior to create a life used, preserved, and invested in the way He designed us uniquely.  Therefore, an important reminder to remember is that life is not what we see or possess, it is about who possesses our lives and how we invest it in a stewardship of trust that will bring affirmation, promotion, and celebration.  (Rick Warren 2002).

“His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant!  You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things.  Come and share your master’s happiness!”  (Matthew 25:21).

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May 23, 2012 · 1:09 am

So, Why Do People Really Go To Church?


 

Have you ever been in one of those churches that has convulsions every two or three years and found yourself wondering why people really go to church there?  Well do not feel like you are alone; many people are wondering the same thing.  In fact they may wonder why you still go there.  After growing up as a PK and serving for almost 40 years as a pastor, I have come to understand that when people are hurt, manipulated, and mistreated; they do not want to go to church.  If you have ever wondered what motivates people to attend church and stay in a church,  take it from someone with a lot of time in the trenches of church life, the reasons why people go to church are numerous, and sometimes the reasons are bizarre and not very logical, little alone spiritual.

The Simple Answer is that it is Sociology and Culture

Elmer Towns said once that when people go to church that they look for someone who is like them and if they cannot find someone to connect with like them, they will go somewhere else.  For instance, if you live in the South or parts of the Midwest, social standing, or social identification might be determined by which church you attend.  Think about it for a minute, look around yourself the next time you go to church and ask yourself the question:  What kind of people go to this church?

Guess What that Tells You? 

The people that you see are the kind of people that your church is going to attract.  Look around and what you will see is that your church has characteristics that are common to the people that are there.  If you have  ever wondered why disorganized, disheveled churches attract people with a lack of spiritual discipline or people who value disorder as if it were a spiritual gift, remember people reflect their personal values in their religious lives and how they value what is important in the life of a church.  Theorist’s call it the homogenous principle: like kind attracts like kind.  As a result, when you have an unruly member who terrorizes people with their dysfunction, it says as much about us as it does about them.  The simple answer is that sociology and culture drive the ability of a church to reach people. A fact that is very true is that if you want the church you are  at to be larger, better, something different than it is, it must experience a cultural, sociological, and value change to reach people that are different.

Family Connection Drives the Church Bus

For some people, their children also bring them back to church.  Sometimes people feel the awesome responsibility of molding and shaping young lives to be happy and productive for the future, and sense almost instinctively that those things require faith and knowledge of God.  We know they will not develop a strong moral core from the society around them.  It did not work for us, did it?  And so we bring them to God’s house, and come along with them, sometimes for the first time since our own childhood.  And as our children learn about Jesus, we experience a wonderful renewal of our faith.

Friendship Drives the Fellowship Wagon

Friendship brings us to church, too.  Sometimes we are invited by friends; then, come with them.  Nevertheless, so often it is the desire for friends –good friends, caring friends, friends who share our values –that brings us to church in hope.  God knows, loneliness can eat at our sense of well-being.  Being new in a community often accentuates that longing to love and be loved.  In addition, this is as it should be.  God means for the church to be a place to build long-term caring relationships, to be a community in every sense of that word.

Another Answer is that it is Material or Social Networking

For many people going to church is the main social event of their life.  It is where their family congregates and decides how spirituality will be expressed.  Think about this: How about joining a large church to network for your business?  It does happen.  However, before you judge too harshly, consider that when you’re looking for a future husband or a wife, networking in a church isn’t a bad place to start — at least you’re likely to find people with the same value system.  Many people go to church to find a wife, date their girlfriend, spend time with their friends, and make business contacts.  Look around the average church and ask yourself if the people are there because of the deep conviction about the theology of the church, or are they there for some other reason.  Unfortunately, the church has become more about the material and social than it has about having a servant’s heart to worship God through servanthood.

What About Fear and Guilt as Motivators?

Fear or Guilt? Unfortunately, many people who go to church, especially in fundamental churches are plagued by fear of what might happen if they don’t go and sometimes guilt about what is wrong in life.  I have often said that guilt tends to make people hide –In a crowd, a church, beneath some leaves to serve as a cover for what has happened in their lives.  We hear guilt from the pulpits, guilt leads to fear and fear to conformity to appear to be religious.  People attend for the most human of reasons. Family history has its place. Children of Catholics are most often Catholic, in orientation at least. Habit and duty figure, too. However, let me talk for a moment about what I see most.

Hurt, Pain, and a Search for Answers

Hurt is way up there on the list.  At times, we find ourselves reeling from some of the most painful wounds imaginable.  Estrangement of a spouse.  Loss of a loved one to death, loss of a family, loss of a job, loss of innocence, loss of health, loss of hope.  We are on the ropes; we are down for the count.  It’s only natural to seek healing in God, and it’s amazing how God uses some of his dear people to be channels of God’s healing, hope-filled, non-judgmental love.  I can’t begin to count the times I’ve seen people’s hurts healed within the context of a healthy congregation.

Discipleship and Personal Growth

For many people, personal growth is a factor in regular church attendance.  Gradually people allow the Holy Spirit to clear the smokescreens and allow God to bring to the surface the things we need to face.  Men sometimes decide to grow up and get past when once-upon-a-time they saw a hypocrite in church and refused to commit.  People move beyond resentments at having to attend church as a child.  God allows us to learn about ourselves as we grow past childish rebellions, we grow up, and we are freed once again to include God in our personal exploration.

The Search for Significance and Meaning

For many people, especially men over 40, the need for significance is a strong motivator in why we go to church.  Something inside of us wants to make a difference, to do something meaningful, lasting, to be part of a cause bigger than ourselves.  Church is a perfect context for this type of fulfillment, since, at their best churches change communities for good –one person at a time.  Unbelievably, there are people who are asking, “What do I have to give here?” rather than just “What can I get?“

Worship and Intimacy through Knowing God

Believe it or not people attend church in order to come to know God, to honor him through worship and by their very presence in his house.  The French philosopher Blaise Pascal put it succinctly, “There’s a God-shaped vacuum in every man that only God can fill.”  You and I have felt that emptiness.  We’ve wondered at times if we’ve lost forever that most important link of faith that shapes who we are and who we can become.  People come to church because they are searching, and they find they can search for God in this context better than they can in other places.

 ”Our hearts are restless,” said Augustine, “until we find our rest in You.”

 Some motives are better, some worse, but in one sense it doesn’t matter much what is your motivation. What matters is the process that begins when we enter a relationship with Jesus Christ an allow the Holy Spirit to direct our lives.

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January 5, 2012 · 11:10 am

Who is Forecasting Your Hope?


After getting up this morning, I looked at the temperature on my cell phone and  the screen says  it  is 33 degrees in Live Oak Florida.  It looks like the message this morning is that it is going to be one of those cold frigid days.  I guess a question I can ask this morning is how the frigid climate is going to affect life today.  While thinking about the forecast, one of the realities that I am aware of is that I cannot ignore, change, or, fix cold weather.  Nevertheless, I can detach myself from the feeling of being cold by getting under a warm blanket and create a level of comfort in my own skin, no matter how cold the weather forecast seems to project it will be.

Something learned here is that weather conditions or forecasts do not define reality inside of life; they only project conditions that as described by a point of view.  A critical issue about cold weather is not so much the temperature itself, but the sensations associated with cold –or how we feel about it.  Some people love cold weather, want to live in it, play in it, and work in it.  One reason that some people thrive in a particular climate is that they enjoy the conditions and feeling that it brings.  Thinking about this intuitively recalls the idea that there are beliefs that we have about life conditions that bring a perspective to life. If perspective is skewed by negative feelings attached to events, what is felt in the moment will distort perception about possibilities.  The result from a forecast that is felt in a given direction will influence the quality and quantity of accomplishment present and future events.

So often, it is neither the truth nor the facts about the future that motivate behaviors, it is how we feel about events and what we believe to be true –whether it is or is not true.  Apply this to presidential candidates: Whom do you feel like will be the nominee for the election process?  Most likely, your answer will reveal what you feel is true, an emotive process based on a believed precept, accepted to be true from the forecast that heard.  Then, it is true that felt perception influences beliefs predicting how behavior demonstrates in actions.  A good exercise in intuition is to ask; what does behavior say about t individual –core beliefs held to be true?

So, how did I get from weather to presidential politics?  It is not the forecast that is so important. It is what we feel to be true that determines held-beliefs about the information seen and heard about presidential candidates in 2012.  A truth contained here is that this can be a cold year or a warm year. However, a reality follows is that we can have success in the cold or it can be a warm and seasonal year of prosperity.  The difference is in how we feel about what we hear in the forecasts, how we feel about that, and what actions result.

Consider a biblical example. In the first chapter of Nehemiah, consider two different perspectives.  First, look at the perspective of the people who reported to him.  Their lived experience was pain, destruction, and ruin.  They saw the city in ruins; Nehemiah saw a city with potential to be great again.  The application comes like this; felt-experience does determine a point of view.  A perception that shows not only deeply felt belief, but also the important and powerful impact of how what we believe shapes response to life-events.

Nehemiah’s perspective reveals a point of view that communicates that even though there was a negative forecast causing grief, he made the choice to detached himself from the painful emotional consequences in order embrace potential in what could be by embracing a future beyond the forecast, beyond the pain, and beyond the distorted forecast painted by negative circumstances.  A point that well taken is that deeply held beliefs will shape reality into lived-experience today

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December 23, 2011 · 5:19 pm

Finding Balance in Unbalanced Relationships: A Discussion about Conflicting Emotions.


GRL relationships

Think about relationships that you have with significant people in your life, what is the first word that comes to mind when you think of the people involved?  Is the word a reaction to how you feel about relationship or a descriptor of how interaction occurs between people?  Something to consider is whether others, in your world of relationships, would see your relationships in the same way that your mental image picture them.  If we are honest at this point, the reality is that everyone has problems at certain times in relationships and all families experience a certain level of malfunction at times.  One of the reasons is that we are feeling/emotive people and, at times,  our feelings distort perception of things occurring which results responses to perception that are charged with emotion and misinformation.  The result is reaction, unreasonable behaviors, conflict, and relationships that are fracture by misinformation, feelings out of control, and inappropriate responses.

It is difficult to use sound reasoning when events are charged with distorted emotional thoughts. 

Consider this question: Is it reasonable to believe someone who tells you that they love you, while at the same time that person in hateful, vindictive, and spiteful ways at the same time.  Obviously, behavior that is inconsistent with what a person tells to you is a strong indicator that something is out of sync in the relationship.  Unbalanced relationships are plagued with behavioral cues that tells the informed observer that this behavior indicates that relationships are unbalanced and lack appropriate boundaries.  This is especially true when there is love espoused, while at the same time the person is demonstrating toxic, damaging, or abusive behaviors toward the person who is the object of their love-hate relationship.  Many instances of this can be seen among  couples who engage in extra-marital affairs, i.e., this is a commonly demonstrated behavior.  The conundrum is that there is a professed love professed for the spouse, while a toxic behavior occurs toward the spouse, as well as, the overall relationship.  I think that everyone would agree that this constitutes an unhealthy and unbalanced relationship.  The idea that a person can love one person and at the same time  engage in a clandestine relationship suggests that there is a conflict of how emotions are understood and what love really means within a relationship.  Consequently, the person who confesses love and fails to demonstrate values consistent with love is action on a faulty presumption of how love is characterized between two people in a relationship.   Another way of understanding the unbalanced conflict of rational thinking about love is in filial relationships.  A question comes to the surface here: Can I love someone while secretly harboring resentment toward them, holding on to unforgiveness while at the same time, acting out passive- aggressive anger toward a friend or relative?  Quite often, people communicate that they are angry without ever saying it. What it reveals is an unhealthy pattern of relating to other when emotional conflicts occur.  It is abundantly clear is that relationships do get unbalanced, but if individuals want to have reasonable ways in life to manage the conflicting emotions felt and and potential for unhealthy patterns of relating; it means having healthy boundaries and effective ways to manage the unmanageable problem of unbalanced emotional responses must become a priority.

Crisis should bring people together and not keep them apart.

During changes in life stages and the unexpected stressors that are a part of life change many feelings come to the surface and individuals are often exposed to the possibility of facing conflicting emotions.  While struggling with what to do and managing unbalanced relationship issues that result from very normal life issues, people are face with real life choices that are at times very difficult.  For example, many who have lost a loved one deal with emptiness, grief over the loss, as well as feelings of isolation, which bring to the surface unrealized emotional expectations for themselves and others  For others, the season of change brings issues to the surface, which has been placed, on hold in the file of unresolved issues and unanswered questions.  Others are facing reassignment from military duty, the effects of the economy, loss of jobs– homes, which bring to the surface the emotional pain that people are experiencing because of the conditions of life  being experienced.

An emotional crisis is an opportunity to add positive value and resolution to relationships.

I remember a story that my dad used to tell about two brothers who had become angry at one another early on in life and had avoided each other, through most of life—both being unwilling to take a step toward reconciliation.  As the story goes, one of the brothers became deathly ill, was placed in the hospital—the other brother went to see him and because of the grave nature of the illness and the possibility of the brother dying, they agreed to bury the hatchet.  After talking and renewing the relationship, it was time to leave.  The brother who was sick, the patient in the hospital, said to departing brother; “by the way, if I live the feud is still on.” Unfortunately, many people cannot break away from the self-defeating behavior that creates a no win situation and feeds off of the feud, the conflict, and an inability to ever reconcile life in a healthy way.

Balancing relationships is about making the right choices for you.

The lived experience for many people is one fueled by conflicts that are unresolved and in fact, may never be solved.  Divorce, broken families, a family member in prison, poverty, child abuse, homelessness, and sickness are all deeply felt issues –the source of painful experiences that are a source for emotional conflict during the seasons of life.  At a time in life when conflicting emotions are magnified by natural events, it is  a perfect time for imbalance to erupt or a time to balance something that feels out of balance by making a choice to act on the felt experience of hopelessness. If we can wrap our head around the fact that even though life is very difficult that there is still hope to balance unbalanced relationships and embrace life with a hope that elevates life and those around us.  I do not know what you are experiencing in life, but if we can focus our thoughts Christ, who is our hope ; then  the peace that He can bring to life can bring balance to seems so out of balance in our experience of life.  Unfortunately, many people’s attention will focus around unbalanced relationships, what has been lost, or what is wrong with others and life.  Fortunately, hope for balance in the midst of conflict is possible through trusting in Savior who is larger than life and greater than problems.  When Christ comes to our life, it is not to abandon us in the moment of conflict or to magnify our failures; it is a happens to magnify the power of Christ to  bring freedom from a life without a balanced hope in the experiences of life. A relationship with Christ is a reminder that He gives us the opportunity, motive, and place to a be peacemaker.

Indeed, people can have the language right, the ritual right, but the reality is that our audio needs to match our video.  However, the crisis that we experience is what reveals who we are going to trust when life gets out of kilter.  An important thing to consider is whether our relationship with Christ is having an impact on the way we handle unbalanced relationships and experiences.   Is what we are saying –experiencing on the inside having a significant impact upon the lived experience of life?  It is good sometimes to just be confessional and stop denying what we feel because pushing down emotions, conflicts, and unresolved pain only pushes issues to the surface when stress is placed upon life.  The act of denying the reality of an internal condition guarantees an undesirable future prospect of artificial existence that will be characterized by the appearance of functionality.  Unfortunately, life will be expressed and may look good on the outside, but the inner dialogue of pain, frustration, and unbalanced emotions will influence life and relationships.

Exercising your options to make good choices starts with individual choice.

What is a person to do about the conflicting emotions and unbalanced relationships in life?  First, understand that there is only one person that you can change—the person that you see in the mirror each day.  Next, realize that it is not your responsibility to fix other people, change them, and you are not responsible for what others do or life they create.  Also, recognize that much of what people feel about disappointments in life stems from faulty expectations and misplaced trust.  Then, allowing people the grace to be who they are and work it out individually, releases others into God’s care to be who they are while still loving them– even though you may not agree.  Accepting others disappointing acts is not ratifying what has been done in a passive form of acceptance, it is allowing others to be free to choose what they do– placing responsibility for behaviors on the person making the choice.  Finally,say it, “I am not responsible, and it is not my fault”.

Is it possible to love someone and hate what they do, be in love with one person and maintain loyalty and admiration for others?  The answer depends upon you and how life is balanced within boundaries to manage the unmanageable things in life.  Remember, we are not responsible for what others choose to do and it is not our fault.  One of the sources of balance comes in how a person thinks about life.  For linear, black and white, everything fits in the box—literal, concrete thinkers, this will not compute because it requires thinking about life outside  of the box:  “most of the time your brain is involved in just one of three activities: distraction, reaction, or following well-worn pattern” (Tim Hurson). In the Bible it says, “As a man thinketh in his heart so is he”.  Are you following a well-worn pattern in life or are you interested in balancing how you feel about your relationships in life:  Change your thoughts and change your life.

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November 20, 2011 · 9:43 pm

Science, Misinformation, and Make-Believe Memories


In what we know about memory, our memories serve a purpose of enabling people to make sense of the past and incorporate it into the present experience of life.  This importance of memories according to Loftus (2003) explains that people are the sum of our memories: what we have thought, what we are told, and what we believe.  In addition, we are not only shaped by our memories, but existence is shaped by our personal experience.  Loftus argues that we “seem to reinvent our memories, and in doing so, we become the person of our own imagination”  (p. 872).

An important distinction made about the power of suggestion upon initial memory of an event and how memory that is manipulated impacts beliefs formed about events.  Information offered by Elizabeth Loftus in, Make-Believe Memories, advocates that memories are malleable and subject to distortion and suggestion.  The following observations about how memory is influenced through eyewitness accounts of crimes:

“Misinformation can influence people’s memories when they are in a suggestive fashion or when they talk to other people who give their version of events. Misinformation can sway people when they see biased media coverage about some event that they may have experienced themselves. This phenomenon would ultimately be called the misinformation effect [Loftus' italics]” (p. 868).

An apparent assumption about initial memory of an event is that it is influenced by suggestion and post-memory influences, but also by the weight of said influences upon the person holding the memory.  A good place to begin in an understanding what misinformation effect actually means.

A dictionary description of the misinformation effect given in the APA Dictionary of Psychology (2007) states, “a phenomenon in which a person mistakenly recalls misleading information that an experimenter has provided, instead of accurately recalling the correct information that has been presented earlier (VandenBos, 2007).  This theory often used in connection with eyewitness memory of events in the investigation procedure.  Loftus cites a cause and effect relationship between what is presented to witnesses to a crime responses to questions asked i.e., “Research on memory distortion has shown that post event suggestion can contaminate what a person remembers” (p. 867).  As a result, a fair assumption about recall of a crime or incident is that the further removed a witness is from the incident and the more times it is discussed the greater chance there is that misinformation effect jades original memories of the event and details.

The position of this article presents the opinion that memory can be distorted by interjecting information and by using techniques which may be misleading to distort original memory.  What can be learned is that misinformation exerts an influence upon what may have been sensed, experienced, and stored in the memory at the time of an event.  The inference is that memories can be altered or changed in intentional and unintentional ways i.e., “Misinformation can influence people’s memories when they are in a suggestive fashion or when they talk to other people who give their version of events”, as cited in (u04d2 Make-Believe Memories, 2010).  A rational conclusion suggests that changes in memories are connected to the suggestions made by the examiner and suggestibility of the person remembering the account.  As a result, an explanation of the misinformation effect contained within the statement made through: post event suggestion (Loftus, 2003) which alters original memory that is stored as suggestion, as well as exposure to other perspectives about the memory-event places influence upon perception.

One important factor in the process is described by Sternberg (2009), as encoding (p. 217). Based on this description, how a memory is encoded –one’s experience, conditions surrounding an event –factors contributing to retrieval, will affect acquisition of information: “the physical, sensory input into a kind of representation” (p. 217) which distorts original sensory input.  Therefore, the misinformation effect suggests that, “suggestion can lead to false memories being injected outright into the minds of people” (Loftus, 2003).

When questions are asked that are suggestive,  false memories are injected into the first impressions of the person being questioned.  Loftus (2003) reports, “that leading questions could contaminate or distort a witness’s memory … Related studies showed that memory could become skewed with various techniques that fed misinformation to unsuspecting individuals” (Make-believe memories).  This practice is associated with techniques which are used in police-witness interviews to a crime.  For example, “Three errors occurred universally: interrupting the witness, asking too many short-answer questions, and inappropriate sequencing of questions” (Fisher, 1995).  A conclusion can be made here that demonstrates that when rehearsal of the memory is interspersed with the injection of questions, interruptions, dialogue, and questions, the initial sensory perception will become adapted to misinformation that affects perception of the original occurrence.

It may seem on the surface that the misinformation effect presents a negative perspective of how memory can be manipulated and the impact upon a criminal investigation.   However, one application of this theory may be of value when applied to research, which could aid in better training for law enforcement professional when conducting witness interviews.  In addition, another application could be that when misinformation is used to correct distorted memories, it may hold properties of value, which present a therapeutic value.  Some examples could be in treatment with those who have experienced traumatic events that present with PTSD symptoms or anxiety related conditions.

Obviously, this article only scratches the surface and more needs to be written on such an important subject of interest.

References

Fisher, R. P. (1995). Interviewing victims and witnesses of a crime. Psychology, Public Policy,  Law [electronic version] , 1 (4), 732-764, http://web.ebscohost.com.library.capella.edu doi:10.1037/1076-8971.1.4.732.

Loftus, E. F. (2003, November). Make-believe memories. Journal of Experimental Psychology: Applied [electronic version] , 14 (3), pp. 255-265, http://web.ebscohost.com.library.capella.edu/ehost, doi: 10.1037/1076-898X.14.3.255.

Sternberg, R. J. (2009). Cognitive Psychology (5th Edition ed.). Belmont, California, USA: Wadsworth, Cenage Learning.

u04d2 Make-Believe Memories. (2010). Retrieved 5 2009, August , from Capella Universisty: http://courseroom2.capella.edu/

VandenBos, G. R. (Ed.). (2007). APA Dictionary of Psychology. Washington, DC, USA: American Psychological Association.

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November 16, 2011 · 11:22 am

Science, Philosophy, Reason, and Life Without Memory


Watching this video is a very sobering look at the way that what the memory provides to an individual in the everyday activities is taken for granted and that without a functioning memory there is no connection with the past, identity, and a conscious way of relating to the present activities of life or the future. A line from the film says it clearly, “I think it is a very dramatic illustration particularly for the public of what it is like to being without memory. For example, this constant feeling that he has just waken up or he has not tasted anything before” (The Anenburg Foundation, 2009). While the video, stimulated thoughts about the value of memory, there is also the thought about how many things could be different, if only some memories could be erased. However, a connection is implicit from the story that it is relative to every individual is and how functioning occurs in life within the environment.

One question which has already been discussed in previous posts in the connection between the brain and the mind. If consciousness and memory are functions of the brain, but also connected to the mind, then there is a relationship between the anatomical structure of the, how the mind operates, neurologically, function, and the wakening experience of awareness in behavior and response. The way that memory is encoded and retrieved forms an understanding of knowing, believing, and behaving. Sternberg (2009) says, “A memory is a mental experience taken to be veridical (truthful) representation from one’s past.  Memories can be false in relatively minor ways … and in major ways that can have profound implications for oneself and others” (p. 198).  In the case of Wearing’s condition, the damage to the brain through Encephalitis affected not only the encoding, but also the ability to recall because of the damage to the Hippo-campus. This raises another observation about the impact of chemical, biological affects to the brain, mind functioning.

It has been established that Teratogens, (Friedman J.M., 1999), affect development of the brain, and also how the introduction of disease destroys tissue, thus disabling explicit memory (Sternberg, 2009, p. 180) from engaging the mind in an experience of conscious recollection (p. 180). A question might be posed about the difference in the absence of explicit memory in contrast to implicit use of information (p. 180). This is discussed in the dialogue by Dr. Michael Oddy who stated, “We ask him if he would like the coffee … But it is all about current events, it is about the surroundings (The Anenburg Foundation, 2009). The events seem to suggest that there is not a reference to past experiences that could have been encoded and recalled, but rather knowing through cognition of present observations in the moment.

The traditional model of memory referred to by Sternberg (2009), in William James (1890-1970) theory of primary memory and secondary memory; then later Waugh and Norman, 1965 (p. 182) give explanation of the components and functions of the memory that are not in tact as a result of disease which destroyed brain tissue. However, the theories as presented, do not adequately offer explanation of ingrained skill or the, “four or five things, he will if questioned appropriately tell you about” (The Anenburg Foundation, 2009). In analysis, it seems evident that one working model of memory does not provide a complete picture without gaining insight from a Neuropsychology model that examines how dissociation of function, “to explain a link between a particular lesion or function” (Sternberg, 2009, p. 207). It seems that there is a correlational relationship to all of the activities, biology, physical structures, or trauma to the brain which in turn affects what happens in conscious awareness that is connected to how perception occurs, what is understood and believed, and what the experience of the life is in feeling and behavior.   How important is this to advancing understanding in the study of psychology?

It cannot be underscored enough that understanding what has been written and engaging with current and future research will build a bridge from the encoded memory that has been described by theorist to provide ongoing and enriched understanding of how the functioning of memory in the mind-brain relationship is enhanced by the value of ongoing research in Cognitive Affective Psychology.

                                                                                                                                           References

Friedman JM, a. J. (1999). Clinical Teratology: identifying teratogenic risks in humans. Retrieved October 21, 2009, from Capella Library: http://search.ebscohost.com.library.capella.edu, doi:10.1034/j.1399-0004.1999.560601.xJans,
Sternberg, R. J. (2009). Cognitive Psychology (5th Edition ed.). Belmont, California, USA: Wadsworth, Cenage Learning.
The Anenburg Foundation. (2009). Life without memory: The case of Clive Wearing, Part 1. Washington, DC: Annenberg Media, Learner.org., DC.

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